AllieB Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I'm 23 and my sister is 16. I noticed the way I was raised was very different from the way my sister was raised and we were raised by THE SAME PEOPLE! When i was younger my parents were very strict. They treated me like an idiot, spyed on me when i used the computer, had to know everything i was doing and who i would be with. I really didn't have many friends or go out much because of how restricted i was. I wasn't allowed to get anything pierced except my ears and even those took some convincing to get done. At 16 and 17 i did have a boyfriend but my parents supervised us for the first few months of us dating. When i was allowed to be with him outside of my parents house they were still strict about where i could go and how long i could be out. Now my sister on the other hand...they give her more freedom than any teenager I've seen. She was allowed to get her ears pierced at a younger age without as much begging, my parents treat her like she's very smart, and they started teaching her how to drive at 14. They wouldn't have let me do that.. And now she has a license and she's allowed to do whatever she wants! Her and i live with our dad becauseour parents divorced. She can just grab the keys and leave without having to explain where she's going. She has more of a social life than i had as a teen. My mom even let her get her belly button pierced and get multiple ear piercings! My dad even pointed out how my mom would have never let ME do that at that age. I can't help but feel bitter about all this. Why would my sister get to have a fun free teenage life while i didn't? Even after i was over 18 my mom still tried treated me like a minor. That went on until i was 21! I'm an adult now and i do have that freedom but why did i have to grow up so oppressed compared to my sister? Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I'm 23 and my sister is 16. I noticed the way I was raised was very different from the way my sister was raised and we were raised by THE SAME PEOPLE! When i was younger my parents were very strict. They treated me like an idiot, spyed on me when i used the computer, had to know everything i was doing and who i would be with. I really didn't have many friends or go out much because of how restricted i was. I wasn't allowed to get anything pierced except my ears and even those took some convincing to get done. At 16 and 17 i did have a boyfriend but my parents supervised us for the first few months of us dating. When i was allowed to be with him outside of my parents house they were still strict about where i could go and how long i could be out. Now my sister on the other hand...they give her more freedom than any teenager I've seen. She was allowed to get her ears pierced at a younger age without as much begging, my parents treat her like she's very smart, and they started teaching her how to drive at 14. They wouldn't have let me do that.. And now she has a license and she's allowed to do whatever she wants! Her and i live with our dad becauseour parents divorced. She can just grab the keys and leave without having to explain where she's going. She has more of a social life than i had as a teen. My mom even let her get her belly button pierced and get multiple ear piercings! My dad even pointed out how my mom would have never let ME do that at that age. I can't help but feel bitter about all this. Why would my sister get to have a fun free teenage life while i didn't? Even after i was over 18 my mom still tried treated me like a minor. That went on until i was 21! I'm an adult now and i do have that freedom but why did i have to grow up so oppressed compared to my sister? I think most parents have curfews for minors living under their roof. Your sister is certainly being treated differently and that is probably because she's the youngest. Parents commonly become calmer with younger children; they have less energy to be so strict and wary. Sometimes parents learn that being too strict has negative effects so they loosen up. Remember that your parents probably don't love you any less. It just seems that way because your sister is younger than you. I understand why you're bitter as I used to struggle with the same feelings. However, letting go of your bitterness and focusing on having a happy adulthood could be helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Parents generally start strict on the older siblings and then loosen up as the younger ones come along. Parents also learn as they go - perhaps with hindsight they realised that they were too strict on you and are doing it differently now. Parents can also parent children differently because children are different. For instance, my 16yo is allowed certain freedoms because she's earned them by being trustworthy. But if a sibling was untrustworthy at the same age, they would not get the same freedom. In short, parenting is not black and white. It's hit and miss and we learn as we go. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 If you think your parents made mistakes with you, do you want them to repeat them with your sister? Link to post Share on other sites
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