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should my family be avoided? (glbt issue)


glamtran

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Hi there I am posting because I am currently living with my parents, brother, and his friend for a few weeks while a new condo that I bought is being built. My family has helped me get this new home and we come from a very well off family and I am very thankful for that.

 

I also don't really want to here "but they're family, deal with it" because I don't think that is realistic in many cases. I know a LOT of people who say that but they are always broke because they are lending out money to save a family members butt or always stressed to the max because they just sit back and take toxicity "because they're family"

 

I'm male to female transgender, I got my surgery 4 years ago and again I'm so glad to have that opportunity. I came out to my mom 10 years ago when I was 17 and she didn't take it well. I wasn't allowed to grow out my hair, I had to suppress it. My brother and I always fought, we never really got along. But after I came out, I found mom sided with him more often. I was called names by him and I remember one time she said "at least he's not like you, pretending to be something he's not".

 

I basically was told after I was done school if transition was my plan I would have to move out. So I did. I struggled finding employment and keeping jobs because of my status. I lost a lot of friends and dealt with a lot of lonliness. In the meantime, my mom was having an affair with one of her clients at work and that took all her energy and I remember a period of a few months I never even heard from her. She also started constantly partying and she is still 60 going on 25. She is always hanging out with younger men behind my dad's back.

 

I'm resentful not only cause of that but now my mom has let my brothers friend stay with them for the past year. But I had to move out? Apparently it is because it keeps my brother out of her hair but it really makes me feel like I'm not wanted, almost discriminated against. My brother and his friend are 23, and my brother is so spoiled he has never moved out yet. My mom gives his friend rides to work, bought him lunch groceries, cooks for him, and he can eat a LOT. This friend has a drinking and pot problem, has anger issues, didn't finish high school, well you get the picture. Comes from a broken home so my family coddles him a lot. But I had to struggle living with awful roommates. Struggled with bills and money. No one cooked for me. He even got to make his own "Christmas list" this past holiday and my mom bought him gifts for under out tree too! He got to stay for our Christmas dinner when we had about 20 people over but I couldn't have anyone over because mom "doesn't have enough food or room" but I knew people who legit had no where else to go.

 

Should I be concerned? I can provide more detail but I want to keep it concise. I really think I might have been replaced and even my dad had said that he agrees my brother and his friend have it too good compared to me. I don't want to come off as jealous but i am a bit hurt. Please ask if you need more clarification or examples.

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Yes you should be concerned. Confront your mother, tell her she is spoiling them. I kind of know how you feel because I have a rude younger brother who is spoiled. Also, I'm a guy and I want to be a woman, but I haven't. Can you give m advice?

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What exactly do you need advice with? Do you want maybe post in the gender identity section of this forum with a few questions?

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