beuatylover9 Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 I am 20 years old and my parents won't let me go out to lunch with my friends while they aren't home. I am a college student and still living with my parents. I don't have my own car which means that my friends have to pick me up from my house in order to go out with them. Do you think that it is wrong of my parents to not let me go out with my friends while they aren't home? Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Personally, OP, I do think your parents are wrong; but, I'm the type of parent who believes it's our job to raise productive, contributing citizens to society...so shielding them from every...little...thing is counterproductive to the end-goal. But, on the other hand (and it's the bigger hand of the two), 'Their House, Their Rules'. Don't like it? Move out. Can't move out? Negotiate a better deal. Can't score a better deal OR move out? Then...suck it up, buttercup. Best of luck to you... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Have you given them reason in the past not to trust you or your friends? Have you had friends over and later found that things were taken or damaged in your house? Do your parents meet your friends when they pick you up? Do they know your friends at all? If they don't know them then it's a good idea to invite them in every once in a while so your folks can see who it is you socialize with and feel better about your life outside the house. "I'm still getting ready, park and come in for 5 minutes if you want" is a simple way to do so. Otherwise, just go out with them and don't tell your parents. They're not gonna disown you. You're 20, not 10. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 They might not disown you, but they can certainly stop supporting you. What is your parents rationale for not letting you go out? And is moving out of home an option for you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author beuatylover9 Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 My parents allow me to go out but only when they are home. I'm not sure why but that is their rules. I am planing on moving out after I finish college. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 I love how everyone in threads like these just defaults to "move out". Personally I lived at home when I was in university and leaving school without tens of thousands of dollars in debt, was one of the best decisions I ever made. No regrets whatsoever about that. No, your parents aren't being reasonable at all. Heck if you were 15 your parents aren't being reasonable. You need to get out in the world, meet people, live your life. Lunch is a pretty harmless activity, I don't see what the issue is here. And why would it matter if they were home, you wouldn't be. I think you need to push back against your parents. Most people do that as young teenagers to gain a normal amount of freedom, but clearly you haven't done it at all, and your parents have no interest in giving it. I know you're too old to rebel, but you need to remind them that you are going to be living on your own soon, so shielding you from dangerous things, like "lunch" isn't protecting you from anything. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JacobDay Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 In my opinion they are wrong to do that. You are over 18 and should be able to make your own choices. Find out what exactly their reason for this is. If it's a mater of them not wanting people coming over by the house while they're not home then that would be their right since it's their house. Other than that you should be treated like an adult. So sit down and talk to them about it and find out why. You should work on getting your own car so that they have less control over you. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 I'm confused. If your parents are out - i.e., not there - how do they know if you go out or stay home? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Ask your parents to compromise. You won't go out with people they don't know if they aren't home. But get them to agree to let you go out with friends they have met as long as you let them know where you will be going, who will be there & when you are expected to return. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I can name various reasons your parents request this: Are you on medication or under medical care ? Are these friends trustworthy? Where are you going ? Two towns over? Have you shown poor judgment in your past? Without knowing all sides, I cannot jump on the bandwagon since there well can be a milieu of reasons for this parental request. Be a bit more specific on what reasons they have eluded to for this to become a current concern. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 You still haven't told us WHY your parents won't let you go out. Without knowing their reasoning, it's very difficult to comment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 We need more details. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Why do they need to be home in order for you to leave the house? Is there a pet at home that can't be left by itself or something? What is their reasoning? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Why do they need to be home in order for you to leave the house? Is there a pet at home that can't be left by itself or something? What is their reasoning? By the looks of it, the OP may have left the entire thread. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 If you have not shown yourself to be unworthy of trust, your parents are being unreasonable and ridiculous. Parents who behave like this only have themselves to blame when their children leave home before being ready. Isolation is not healthy or fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 MY mom was like this and like you, I gave her what she wanted and was too scared to challenge her. Luckily I got over it not too much later. I used to walk out and do what I wanted as and when I pleased and said to her what are you going to do...ground me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I am 20 years old and my parents won't let me go out to lunch with my friends while they aren't home. I am a college student and still living with my parents. I don't have my own car which means that my friends have to pick me up from my house in order to go out with them. Do you think that it is wrong of my parents to not let me go out with my friends while they aren't home? I'm wondering if you are an only child? I am. My parents, particularly my mother were possessive and over-protective of me. You are 20, an adult now. You have the power now. If I was you, I would just go out with my friends anyway. Don't let them imprison you just because it's their house. Link to post Share on other sites
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