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Multiracial families


truthtripper

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My mother is Sri-Lankan and my father is Dutch. I was never accepted as "one of the pack" in either of my families due to my skin colour. I was too fair for my mother's family and too dark for my father's family. If you grew up in a mixed race family, did you experience this discrimination?

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P.S a multiracial family is NOT the same as being a multicultural.... race is simply skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by casey.lives
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P.S a multiracial family is NOT the same as being a multicultural.... race is simply skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The culture aspect never been an issue for me. It has been entirely a race issue. For example, my SriLankan aunts often told me that I was "lucky to have fair skin" as when they migrated to australia, they were harrassed by the locals for their colour. But there is an envy or jealousy that affects the way my SriLankan family treat me. When I was a child growing up, they called me "the ugly duckling" because I was neither black nor white. Interestingly, one of my cousins has very dark skin, darker than the rest of the family. My aunts used to call her "polar bear". As a result, when she a teenager she began covering her face with ivory foundation and continues to, to this day.

 

My Dutch family also treated me differently. I was always shunned by my cousins at family gatherings. I had to make a great effort to show them that I was not a bad/foreign person, that they could accept me.

 

From my experiences I feel that even though most people say they are not racist, humans are naturally wired to feel safer around others who look like them.

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changeofseasons
My mother is Sri-Lankan and my father is Dutch. I was never accepted as "one of the pack" in either of my families due to my skin colour. I was too fair for my mother's family and too dark for my father's family. If you grew up in a mixed race family, did you experience this discrimination?

 

I just shouted yes at the top of my lungs, and now i am sending you many hugs because i have endured this throughout my life and feel for you.

 

As a mixed ethnicity (Hispanic/White mix) person i have felt like this in almost every relationship except with my mom, best friend and guys that i have dated that were also mixed race. I always felt like the odd one who everyone ignored. In elementary school it was segregated, neither white nor hispanic would hang out with me, it was just me and 2 other mixed girls. Family has always excluded me for the most part. Hispanic people would make fun of me for being too white washed or not latina enough, and white people just treated me like their special ethnic friend. Being pigeonholed is the worst too, because of these terrible experiences I only identified as mixed, never latin or white but people always want you to pick a side and its not fair.

 

You're not alone and i hope you find people accepting of you, you're unique and sound like a beautiful mix. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of what you are <3

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I can't believe your aunts were harassed for being darker. Do you mean here in Australia? Being tanned is huge here. I always get harassed for being pale. This would be considered racist if I was Asian or Black though.

 

The culture aspect never been an issue for me. It has been entirely a race issue. For example, my SriLankan aunts often told me that I was "lucky to have fair skin" as when they migrated to australia, they were harrassed by the locals for their colour. But there is an envy or jealousy that affects the way my SriLankan family treat me. When I was a child growing up, they called me "the ugly duckling" because I was neither black nor white. Interestingly, one of my cousins has very dark skin, darker than the rest of the family. My aunts used to call her "polar bear". As a result, when she a teenager she began covering her face with ivory foundation and continues to, to this day.

 

My Dutch family also treated me differently. I was always shunned by my cousins at family gatherings. I had to make a great effort to show them that I was not a bad/foreign person, that they could accept me.

 

From my experiences I feel that even though most people say they are not racist, humans are naturally wired to feel safer around others who look like them.

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I wonder if parents from different colours ever consider the fact their children won't fit in anywhere. If they knew how often their kid gets bullied would they still go for it? Food for thought.

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I can't believe your aunts were harassed for being darker. Do you mean here in Australia? Being tanned is huge here. I always get harassed for being pale. This would be considered racist if I was Asian or Black though.

My aunts migrated to Melbourne in the 1960s. At that time I don't even think the term "racial discrimination" existed in Australia, so people were openly and freely racist. In fact, back then the White Australia Policy only allowed migrants with a certain degree of 'white genealogy' to enter the country. My Sri Lankan family also have some European ancestory, which enabled them to become Australian citizens.

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I just shouted yes at the top of my lungs, and now i am sending you many hugs because i have endured this throughout my life and feel for you.

 

As a mixed ethnicity (Hispanic/White mix) person i have felt like this in almost every relationship except with my mom, best friend and guys that i have dated that were also mixed race. I always felt like the odd one who everyone ignored. In elementary school it was segregated, neither white nor hispanic would hang out with me, it was just me and 2 other mixed girls. Family has always excluded me for the most part. Hispanic people would make fun of me for being too white washed or not latina enough, and white people just treated me like their special ethnic friend. Being pigeonholed is the worst too, because of these terrible experiences I only identified as mixed, never latin or white but people always want you to pick a side and its not fair.

 

You're not alone and i hope you find people accepting of you, you're unique and sound like a beautiful mix. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of what you are <3

Hey Change, I'm sorry you experienced this. You sound like a beautiful mix yourself! I used to go to a Latino dance nightclub every saturday night where there were lots of mixed race Hispanics. Coincidentally, the people there thought I was part Hispanic too.

 

Luckily, I didn't have this problem in school or with friends. Most people think I'm Italien and there's a large Italien community here, so I was not considered different. The trouble has existed mainly in my families and with family friends who were also SriLankan and Dutch/German. The SriLankans would often comment negatively on my appearance and the Dutch were standoffish towards me. I don't see my families much anymore now, but Christmas always gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.

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I wonder if parents from different colours ever consider the fact their children won't fit in anywhere. If they knew how often their kid gets bullied would they still go for it? Food for thought.

It would be a shame to not have kids. If their families are loving and accepting, I think the mixed race kids will be less likely to attract bullying as they will carry themselves with self-acceptance and self-confidence. And if they do get bullied, they'll be more resilient and equipped to deal with it.

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