Amelie1980 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Hi Things are really bad with my family at the moment. My brother isnt talking to me as he is always rude and kind since childhood. My mom always takes my brothers side. I have bought my nephew a Christmas present already. He is an innocent child and of course I wont have any bad feelings towards him. But the rest of my family. I feel like not bothering with Christmas and not buying any presents for adult family. I don't want anything from them either. I lost my job and all they do is shout at me and tell me how to live my life when I am trying to fix it. They think i should just be happy all the time and not acknowledge what's happened when it's really hard to do that. Neither of my family have had anything bad happen to them for many years. They dont get it Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Imo, you are on the right track. Just do for your nephew, and others who bless you. Being jobless or w/o revenue is another reason to possibly just pick up a poinsettia plant for mom, if it's in your heart. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 Imo, you are on the right track. Just do for your nephew, and others who bless you. Being jobless or w/o revenue is another reason to possibly just pick up a poinsettia plant for mom, if it's in your heart. Its the whole Christmas spirit thing too. It would feel hypocritical to spend it with people who havent spoken to me or seen me for 3 months in my brothers case and when they do see me they are rude. My mom shouts constantly. I dont have any family of my own, partner kids etc. I just would rather do nothing than spend it with them, Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 It seems pretty simple then, don't spend Christmas with them. If they can't be supportive of your life, then you don't need to associate with them. When your mom asks why you won't be with them for Christmas, gently explain to her why you will be spending Christmas by yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 One of the best - really the best - Christmases I spent was at a soup kitchen, helping to give the homeless, destitute and desperate, a good hot meal and some Christmas cheer, by being there for them and investing in the true Spirit of Christmas by giving Joy, support and happiness to others. It was the most fulfilling, fun, enjoyable and rewarding three days I have ever truly, honestly experienced. It gave meaning to the word, and I will never forget it. I heartily recommend it, it will change your life and put things into perspective. Remember the first thing in "Little Women" by Louisa M. Alcott, is the fact that they went out and gave to others. It works and is an amazing life lesson. Another christmas on my own, I made myself a glorious meal, consisting of things I wanted, loved and enjoyed (curry, rice, and other bizarre additions you would not usually find at a Traditional Christmas Feast!) I ate it off my lap, curled up on the sofa, watching what I wanted to watch on the tv. Bliss. All day to myself, with no pandering to the whims, hypocritical sentiments and criticisms of others! Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I've had similar problems with my family and haven't spent christmas with them for many years. In fact I hardly see them anymore, anyway. If they don't treat you well, it's bad for your health to stay with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 One of the best - really the best - Christmases I spent was at a soup kitchen, helping to give the homeless, destitute and desperate, a good hot meal and some Christmas cheer, by being there for them and investing in the true Spirit of Christmas by giving Joy, support and happiness to others. It was the most fulfilling, fun, enjoyable and rewarding three days I have ever truly, honestly experienced. It gave meaning to the word, and I will never forget it. I heartily recommend it, it will change your life and put things into perspective. Remember the first thing in "Little Women" by Louisa M. Alcott, is the fact that they went out and gave to others. It works and is an amazing life lesson. Another christmas on my own, I made myself a glorious meal, consisting of things I wanted, loved and enjoyed (curry, rice, and other bizarre additions you would not usually find at a Traditional Christmas Feast!) I ate it off my lap, curled up on the sofa, watching what I wanted to watch on the tv. Bliss. All day to myself, with no pandering to the whims, hypocritical sentiments and criticisms of others! I dont have a car at the moment and no public transport on Christmas Day so i couldn't get myself to a shelter. Cooking up a storm and watching tv sounds awesome though. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I dont have a car at the moment and no public transport on Christmas Day so i couldn't get myself to a shelter. Cooking up a storm and watching tv sounds awesome though. Find out where your closest shelter is. Go in, and find out if you can volunteer. Explain you don't have transport, can someone collect you and give you a lift there and back? Sorted. It's what I did, see....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Find out where your closest shelter is. Go in, and find out if you can volunteer. Explain you don't have transport, can someone collect you and give you a lift there and back? Sorted. It's what I did, see....? I will do. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Christmas has always been a sad time for me, all I got are memories of my parents fighting and throwing things at each other. Thought I might commit suicide this X-Mas. The only friend I have is a man who lives far away in Spain. I haven't heard from him on Skype for a while now. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Christmas has always been a sad time for me, all I got are memories of my parents fighting and throwing things at each other. Thought I might commit suicide this X-Mas. The only friend I have is a man who lives far away in Spain. I haven't heard from him on Skype for a while now. Love your avatar... so sparkly and jolly.... Rainbow Brite is such a positive, energetic, full-of-life optimist.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 This is a great, Tibetan Guru, encased in his own self-made 'Rainbow Body'.... The original 'Rainbow Brite', if you want... a 'Second Buddha' according to many who follow his Tradition. His Mantra is said to be the most powerful, Healing, restorative and fulfilling Mantra, and heals all wounds: Physical, spiritual, psychological, emotional and environmental.... This is the dialectic pronunciation of the Tibetan words... Om Ah Hung Benza Guru Pema Siddhi Hung Best practised in quiet stillness, and in a peaceful moment. it is said that merely reciting it three times, can still even the most violent raging ocean.... Metaphorically speaking, I guess. Intention is all. If you're actually LOOKING for a specific result, it will elude you. If you merely recite it with the intention of achieving nothing, with a calm, ungrasping mind, it can transform your life. Rather like trying to grab water, as opposed to merely cradling it in a cupped hand. Hope that helps.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Christmas has always been a sad time for me, all I got are memories of my parents fighting and throwing things at each other. Thought I might commit suicide this X-Mas. The only friend I have is a man who lives far away in Spain. I haven't heard from him on Skype for a while now. Hope you remove these thoughts. Getting used to you being around here. And yes lovely avatar as TM points out. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Christmas has always been a sad time for me, all I got are memories of my parents fighting and throwing things at each other. Thought I might commit suicide this X-Mas. The only friend I have is a man who lives far away in Spain. I haven't heard from him on Skype for a while now. You're not alone Aspen. My parents fought all the time too. My dad almost strangled my mum when I was 14. If I hadn't grabbed his hands from her throat, he would have done it. I am an only child and that was my role in my family, to keep my parents from killing each other. I often have similar feelings, but I know that I've been put on earth for some good reason and so have you. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 You're not alone Aspen. My parents fought all the time too. My dad almost strangled my mum when I was 14. If I hadn't grabbed his hands from her throat, he would have done it. I am an only child and that was my role in my family, to keep my parents from killing each other. I often have similar feelings, but I know that I've been put on earth for some good reason and so have you. If that message lifts her heart, then that's already a very good reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Coincidentally, this is something a friend of mine, posted today, on another forum: Visualise yourself in this way: Now consider that at the centre of the base, where this lower rainbow light is sourced and comes from, there is a new, tiny, perfect 'you' forming... and as you watch the light rays pulsating with brilliance, this new, fresh, unblemished and pure 'you', is growing, expanding and filling the existing body, and expelling all the negativity, sorrow, sadness, bitterness, resentment and anger you may be feeling.... and where the heart light is radiating, positivity, joy, happiness, endearment and serenity is growing in warmth and love.... and eventually, the new small 'you', has grown to completely fill the space previously occupied by the old 'you'.... Do this exercise every morning and evening, and practise it until you are able to achieve this transformation by merely sitting and breathing deeply, with no visual effort required.... You don't actually have to adopt the Lotus position... you can just sit comfortably in a chair, or lie down, and put your hands, one on your belly, (base thumb knuckle in your belly-button) and the other comfortably on your chest, over or close to your heart..... Try to not fall asleep, but if you do.... it shows you're relaxed, anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Love your avatar... so sparkly and jolly.... Rainbow Brite is such a positive, energetic, full-of-life optimist.... Maybe she is like an alter ego, or sth. Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hope you remove these thoughts. Getting used to you being around here. And yes lovely avatar as TM points out. You and Tara are too nice to me. Not sure I deserve such treatment. However it is deeply appreciated.*hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I thought you were following her example, or at least, attempting to. One can aspire to be like one's inspiration. Me? I'm drawn to the guy in MY avatar. Don't always succeed of course. That's the whole point of Effort. Tyr and try and try again, and keep trying...... Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 You're not alone Aspen. My parents fought all the time too. My dad almost strangled my mum when I was 14. If I hadn't grabbed his hands from her throat, he would have done it. I am an only child and that was my role in my family, to keep my parents from killing each other. I often have similar feelings, but I know that I've been put on earth for some good reason and so have you. That's just the thing isn't? It's not supposed to be our job. Why do parents put us in that position to begin with? If you don't get along, get a friggin' divorce! Do not turn every day's family life into a hostage situation. The more I think about how I grew up the less desire I have to create my own. Link to post Share on other sites
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