JumpingJimbo Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Ok this is a weird weird situation. My girlfriend of almost four years has kept a lot of journals since she was little. She never said I could or couldn't read them. We recently moved in together and I got a little curious about what she has wrote about so I read one. It was an entry from one year ago when we were having a threesome. We are a very open minded couple and it was always a fantasy of mine. I thought she was ok with it but when I read what she said in her journal I knew she wasn't really. But what's really bothering me is that she said that if the other woman got pregnant by me she would make sure the girl would have a miscarriage... She wrote about different ways to do it in detail. I haven't said anything to her about it but it won't stop bothering me. I mean she said she wanted to kill my unborn child if it wasn't hers too... I don't believe the other woman got pregnant. My girlfriend has always been a sweet heart and seemed very innocent but now I feel like she's not who I thought she was.. Should I overlook this? If I had never read that in her journal I wouldn't be having so many doubts about her.. What should I do about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Don't read peoples journals without permission, and realise that her private thoughts belong to her, not you. She thought something, but you did something. Think about that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Sometimes inner-most private thoughts can be extreme ....and entirely exaggerated or fake, and exist for the purpose of exorcising frustrations. So I wouldn't crucify her, especially since you went sneaking thru her stuff. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Perhaps she only participated in the 3-way to make you happy, and at the time she wrote those things she had a lot of pent up anger and resentment that she needed to let out. I wouldn't look too far into it. I've written some pretty cringeworthy things in journals before that I wrote during an emotional high or low. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
caringsister Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Sometimes people will agree to do things out of love to please or out of fear of losing the one they love. Doesnt mean she really wanted to have a threesome, but she didnt tell you that because then it would cast a dark cloud and rain on your parade or quite possibly she thought she wanted to have a threesome and when it transpired she realized she didnt like it. It is difficult to watch your boyfriend enjoy intimacy with another person. When in the situation it becomes all to real and it may of had a negative effect on her. Reading her journal was a total complete violation of her privacy. Journals are sacred, a place to freely express yourself without judgement. You snooped and read her inner most thoughts ... it does mean because she wrote it that she would have acted upon those thoughts if indeed the other girl had gotten pregnant. My thoughts are why would it even be a concern if you are responsibly practicing safe sex... If I were you I wouldn't be so concerned with what she wrote, but rather by what you did. You know reading her journal was wrong. Just because she didn't declare it off limits... it's a given. Clearly she trusted you. I'm sure she would be mortified to know she couldnt. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) journals are sometimes used as therapy where you get bad or negative thoughts out of your head its a technique often used for mental health...it really does help...what doesnt help is people like you who read intimate and very confidential thoughts that are on paper.....and then post those thoughts on public forums.....how violated can a person be..i feel for your gf...... as another poster said she wouldnt act on those thoughts probably actions are far more telling than random negative thoughts put on paper...... now that you have done this act of reading her private thoughts.......how honest are you going to be....do you keep a journal?....maybe you should write it down.....and leave it for her to read...or...you could be honorable and admit you know it was wrong but you read her journal.....you apologise and never do it again...theres honor in honesty..how do you think people would feel.....if someone went around feeling or reading what they kept as private thoughts....they wouldnt like the person at all who could read their mind or appreciate the person could feel what they feel.... they would think them a freak...see them as a threat....and nto want to have anythign to do with them..because some things are better left private and between god..........and honestly you did it when you could have decided not to...you made a choice....so be honest.........deb Edited May 26, 2015 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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