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WTF is my dad thinking???


Naive

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So I've been calling my little sister like crazy for about a week and I get no answer. Today I decided to just show up. To my surprise I find my dad drunk as hell!!!! It pisses me off. Does he not see how much harm he can cause my little sister??? He looked like a total different person. He looked old and his eyes looked gray, not those beautiful blue eyes he has. He did not resemble one bit who he is. It makes me feel sad and pissed!!!!! He's not only harming himself but the people around him!!! It's misery to live with a drunkie. He had given that habit up a long time ago, what the hell caused him to go back???

 

Does he not see that he crumbles my life with that. I am too young to deal with this CR@P!!! Now I have to go and take care of his business!!! After he threw me out!!!!!!!! I have to clean up his mess!!!

 

I'm sorry for rambling on, but I am so mad at this moment :mad:

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Darn! Sorry to hear that Naive..

 

Unfortunately, alcoholic's fail to see the destruction and pain they are causing in other peoples lives and often simply do not see or refuse to see that they are not only hurting themselves but the people who love them the most as well.

 

Something must have happened with your Dad recently that has made him turn to his old addiction..

 

Take a deep breath.. I hope all is better by tomorrow.

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No reason to apologize for rambling....did you find out where your little sister was? Didn't you say he was re-married? If so why isn't his new wife taking care of him?

 

You're right you're young and don't need to deal with this and it makes it worse that you have to worry constantly about your little sister's well being...

 

Could he be drinking again because he felt bad that he kicked you out? Did something happen that could have triggered this?

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Originally posted by Merin2

Darn! Sorry to hear that Naive..

 

Take a deep breath.. I hope all is better by tomorrow.

 

Thanks so much Merin :o

 

 

Originally posted by Barby

No reason to apologize for rambling....did you find out where your little sister was? Didn't you say he was re-married? If so why isn't his new wife taking care of him?

 

Hey Barby, My little sister was in the other room because she has been sick. My stepmom was taking care of him. She took 2 days off to take care of him, but she says he is stuborn. When I asked him why was he drinking all he said was, "because I am stupid" :rolleyes: I get worried to see him like that.

 

You're right you're young and don't need to deal with this and it makes it worse that you have to worry constantly about your little sister's well being...

 

I know I wish I could just have her with me. Hopefully soon it will happen.

 

Could he be drinking again because he felt bad that he kicked you out? Did something happen that could have triggered this?

 

My little sister said that he started drinking the weekend I left, so I don't know. It was his decision why does he act like he all of a sudden cares? I love my dad with all my heart, but I have to say he f'ing up. Blood should be thicker than water. Anyways this topic should be another thread.

 

I don't know what to do about him drinking. When I went into the room he was laying there like a vegetable. Like an OLD man. He looked so fragile, that's not him. He's all we have in this world and he's acting like he does not care :(

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Patiently waiting

The word "intervention" comes to my mind........and lots of therapy. If that doesn't work I think he needs to be left to his own demise. He can ruin his own life if he chooses not to accept help. But, he only ruins everyone else's if you all allow him to. Feel sorry for him but do not enable him by "taking care of his business" etc.....If he has to hit rock bottom to see the light, that's just what may have to happen.

 

It sucks I know, but sometimes it's the only way......

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Originally posted by Patiently waiting

Feel sorry for him but do not enable him by "taking care of his business" etc.....If he has to hit rock bottom to see the light, that's just what may have to happen.

 

It sucks I know, but sometimes it's the only way......

 

 

I can't do this because whatever affects him will ultimately affect my sister.

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What does your "step mom" say about all of this? Have you discussed moving back into the home so you can help her and your little sister out? Do you mean he runs an actual busines that you have to take care of now or do you just mean his problems in general?

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Take it from someone who knows what he's going through,

 

He's going to have to hit rock bottom, and I mean total rock bottom before he'll get anywhere to moving towards the top.

 

It's hard to watch, I know. I put my wife and kids through hell. I've got a lot of making up to do.....

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Originally posted by Barby

What does your "step mom" say about all of this? Have you discussed moving back into the home so you can help her and your little sister out? Do you mean he runs an actual busines that you have to take care of now or do you just mean his problems in general?

 

I can't move in because they live in the back house and it's already tight as it is. The reason he moved out the big house was so I would leave.

 

Yeah he just opened a new business about 2 weeks ago and he had to keep it closed now because he can't even get up. He has not even finished fixing it up. So now I am going to have to go Saturday and Sunday and give up my weekend!!! I have to go fix everything and make flyers, etc. For my stepmom it's way better if I don't move back in so there goes her helping me!

 

I wish I could be a heartless b*tch and just be like, "screw you, you kicked me out you find your way out of this sh*t hole you are in" Ughhh, it pisses me off that I can;t do that. Even if I try I end up feeling worse :rolleyes:

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Originally posted by Moose

He's going to have to hit rock bottom, and I mean total rock bottom before he'll get anywhere to moving towards the top.

 

I'm scared that the next step is alcohol poisoning!!! Then what? He's not going to be able to fix anything!!

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Actually, alcohol poisioning is a really difficult feat. 99% of the people who drink to that excess usually pass out. What I mean by rock bottom is either he'll hurt himself physically, lose his job, got a DUI and go to jail, or lose the rest of his family.

 

I'm sorry to say that it looks like things will get a whole lot uglier before they'll look up.........sorry :(

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course you love him, he's your dad...

 

and it sounds like one of those situations where there is no good answer.

 

families huh~~ :(

 

guess I'd just keep in mind that regardless of what triggered it, he was the one that made the decision to cope by drinking .. you had nothing to do with that decision..

 

and.. it's okay not to use pieces of yourself up by trying to take care of him.

 

and.. he's stopped before so he can again.

 

jackie q

 

ps. how old is your sister?

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Originally posted by JackieQ

ps. how old is your sister?

 

Thanks for your advice Jackie. I appreaciate it. I appreciate all of the people who take the time to answer.

 

My little sister just turned 11 about 2 months ago.

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Originally posted by kooky

Boy, I admire you girl :o You go through a lot of tough stuff and still manage to be so cheerful. That reminds me, I have to work on myself. :o

 

Thanks kooky. That's just me, I am naturally upbeat and cheerful, that's why it's hard when things like that happen. I hate to be in a sour mood.

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Patiently waiting

Do you have the ability to take your sister in? Or maybe another family member who could? I bet it will be even more damaging to her in the long run if he continues this behavior with her around. I have a friend who's dad is an alchoholic, she is very smart, pretty and educated. Can't have a decent relationship with any guy though........

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