Should I be ashamed that I still live at home?

[BadJuju]

I'll be 22 in December and I feel ashamed that I still live at home. It's not like I'm doing nothing either. I'm going to school for Radiology Tech and hold a part time job. My school and work are in my own town so financially it makes sense to stay at home, right?

 

I just feel embarrassed that my peers I graduated with from HS are going to graduate from college next semester and I will be starting my two years for radiology next Fall. So that might keep me at home a bit longer.

 

Older sister is 4 years older than me and live in the wealthiest part of GA. Has a well paying job. And here I am... still at home.

 

Thoughts?

[LoneIsland]

You don't know how lucky you are that your parents are giving you such a good start in life. So stop the self pity. I'd be ashamed of that.

[d0nnivain]

I lived at home until I was 24 & finished grad school.

 

In your situation there is nothing to be embarrassed about. You are saving money & being frugal while still moving forward. Be proud that you are smart.

[BadJuju]

You don't know how lucky you are that your parents are giving you such a good start in life. So stop the self pity. I'd be ashamed of that.

 

Believe me, I am beyond grateful for the parents I have. Many of my friends have been nudged to move on, while I have never heard a thing from my parents.

 

I'm still working on getting rid of my selfish worries.

[MuscleCarFan]

There's no shame living at home while trying to better your self.

[pink_sugar]

I agree with the others, I had to leave an abusive home situation when I was 18 and had to struggle financially in a high cost of living area while going to school. I got into debt and now I'm struggling to get out of it. Be thankful you have normal parents. I had to return home when losing my job and home unwillingly. For me, staying at home wasn't an option. And you're only 22, not 30. I'm 25 and most of my friends are either at home or with several roommates. I don't know many people my age who are able to afford a place of their own without an additional income or roommates.

[still_an_Angel]

Don't be, you're working on your future and you work part time. Be ashamed if you are living at home and bumming off your parents.

[newmoon]

the absolute worst thing a person can do is judge themselves against others. you are your own person and will have your own path, so do not compare yourself to other people, it's not productive. others your age may start off big and fail later, you may start off slow and soar later. lots of things can happen. nothing to worry about at all, but be realistic too... living at home will put a damper on some stuff in your life and slow progress in some areas (ie a relationship)

[SycamoreCircle]

I think living at home with your parents is a major stigma in the West. It is very common in other parts of the world and...may I add, try to help your parents, as much as you can. Just doing little things can mean so much and 10 or 15 years from now when you live by yourself or are starting a family, you will miss the time you had with them. They don't live forever, you know...

[LuckyLady13]

BadJuju, awesome that you're going to be a radiology tech. I met the coolest radiology tech late one night at my local hospital who changed my view completely of who they are. A big biker looking guy with a beard, arms sleeved in tattoo's and when the doctor on shift was treating me very bad, this radiology tech came to my defense and changed that doctors tune quickly. Very friendly and caring guy.

 

Now, about the way you feel. I was on my own at 17 and never looked back. I was already, by your age, fed up with paying rent on apartments and bought a townhouse so was paying a mortgage. It was a great investment I sold after having it 7 years. Have had two houses since.

 

I honestly think living with your parents while you go to school is going to stunt your growth as an adult and put you far behind some other people your age mentally and emotionally. I think having paid rent and getting tired of it and moving on by the time I was 20 and moving onto paying a mortgage put me well ahead of most people I knew who were my age and there's a big advantage to that in life.

 

With that being said, I also see what other people are saying that you're nearly blessed by having your parents there like this and there are people who would give their left arm to have what you have.

 

I think it comes down to how you feel deep down inside and what you really want. Like I said, you're going to mature more slowly living at home but is it important enough to you to move out and deal with work, possibly roommates to make getting the rent paid easier and absolutely dead-tired exhausted days and nights trying to pull off school at the same time?

 

To a point you do have to look at your peers and use them as a gauge as to where you are and checking to see if you're in the right place or not. At the end of the day though, it comes down to where you want to be. Your life will be so much easier with your parents but you won't build half as much character. Are you okay with that?

[SycamoreCircle]

Respectfully, I disagree with the above poster. As a NYC resident, paying rent is about as fun as having a tooth pulled. Trust me, there'll always be a surfeit of people who want to take your money off your hands. Enjoy financial sanctuary.

[writergal]

OP, it's normal to live at home when you are going to school and working. My sister lived at home while she went to nursing school, and I lived at home when I moved back to my home state with no job.

 

Instead of feeling self-pity for living at home, reframe it so that you can see how practical you're being while you go to school and work a part-time job. Look at it positively; your parents support your radiology schooling by letting you live at home rent-free, so that you don't have to incur debt at the same time. When I went to grad school late in life, I had to pay rent plus bills and live on practically *nothing* except my student loan refunds because my days were spent in schools doing field experiences, I worked 3 part-time jobs, and my evenings were spent in classrooms 3 hours at a time, 4 nights a week, and after class, I had to do my homework and barely slept. That was my life for 3 years. It was a struggle but I did it. So, try to see your situation as a positive instead of a negative. If I could have lived at home during my grad school years believe me, I would have.

 

Many, many people move home for various reasons at various points throughout their lives, or live with relatives or friends when they're in a transition of some sort (work, school, divorce, illness, etc).

[pink_sugar]

Respectfully, I disagree with the above poster. As a NYC resident, paying rent is about as fun as having a tooth pulled. Trust me, there'll always be a surfeit of people who want to take your money off your hands. Enjoy financial sanctuary.

 

I agree. I'm from an area where people are living with their parents well into their late 20's, because most people cannot afford a place on their own without several roommates unless you make $65k or more a year. Not even established individuals can afford a home in that area.

[NJ123]

I agree. I'm from an area where people are living with their parents well into their late 20's, because most people cannot afford a place on their own without several roommates unless you make $65k or more a year. Not even established individuals can afford a home in that area.

 

It's like that where I am too, since I'm in NJ. I know plenty of people in their early 30's still living at home. In some states it's extremely hard to move out early on since the cost of living is way too much.

[Emilia]

BadJuju, awesome that you're going to be a radiology tech. I met the coolest radiology tech late one night at my local hospital who changed my view completely of who they are. A big biker looking guy with a beard, arms sleeved in tattoo's and when the doctor on shift was treating me very bad, this radiology tech came to my defense and changed that doctors tune quickly. Very friendly and caring guy.

 

Now, about the way you feel. I was on my own at 17 and never looked back. I was already, by your age, fed up with paying rent on apartments and bought a townhouse so was paying a mortgage. It was a great investment I sold after having it 7 years. Have had two houses since.

 

I honestly think living with your parents while you go to school is going to stunt your growth as an adult and put you far behind some other people your age mentally and emotionally. I think having paid rent and getting tired of it and moving on by the time I was 20 and moving onto paying a mortgage put me well ahead of most people I knew who were my age and there's a big advantage to that in life.

 

With that being said, I also see what other people are saying that you're nearly blessed by having your parents there like this and there are people who would give their left arm to have what you have.

 

I think it comes down to how you feel deep down inside and what you really want. Like I said, you're going to mature more slowly living at home but is it important enough to you to move out and deal with work, possibly roommates to make getting the rent paid easier and absolutely dead-tired exhausted days and nights trying to pull off school at the same time?

 

To a point you do have to look at your peers and use them as a gauge as to where you are and checking to see if you're in the right place or not. At the end of the day though, it comes down to where you want to be. Your life will be so much easier with your parents but you won't build half as much character. Are you okay with that?

^^^ very nicely put and something to contemplate OP.

 

I moved out and to another country when I was 20. My sister stayed at home until the age of 26 before my mum got her a small flat. The difference is still very obvious and she is 39 while I'm 42, she is still afraid of making big decisions because they were done for her in your young adult years. She isn't as resourceful as I am because she never needed to be until she got older and she never learned that. She shies away from challenges that would require confidence and courage. I'm also financially way ahead of her even though she had a much better start.

 

Just something to bear in mind OP.

[Emilia]

I agree. I'm from an area where people are living with their parents well into their late 20's, because most people cannot afford a place on their own without several roommates unless you make $65k or more a year. Not even established individuals can afford a home in that area.

So why not live with several roommates? I suppose I don't understand why that would stop anyone spreading their wings. It's not a realistic expectation to move into your own home from your family's I agree so why not take several steps?

[Els]

At 22 and going to college, I think it isn't too bad. I wouldn't necessarily say you should be 'ashamed' of it - it's really just a tradeoff in the end. More savings compared to the independence that living on your own grants.

 

I will say though that to maximize the advantages and minimize the disadvantages of living at home, you should:

 

1) Be sure to save up the money that you are saving from living at home, not spend it frivolously just because you have extra

2) Get used to doing things by yourself even if you are living at home. Cook for yourself, do your own laundry and dishes, handle your own finances and insurance, etc

3) Have a solid plan to move out after your graduate, and stick to it

[Leigh 87]

BadJuju, awesome that you're going to be a radiology tech. I met the coolest radiology tech late one night at my local hospital who changed my view completely of who they are. A big biker looking guy with a beard, arms sleeved in tattoo's and when the doctor on shift was treating me very bad, this radiology tech came to my defense and changed that doctors tune quickly. Very friendly and caring guy.

 

Now, about the way you feel. I was on my own at 17 and never looked back. I was already, by your age, fed up with paying rent on apartments and bought a townhouse so was paying a mortgage. It was a great investment I sold after having it 7 years. Have had two houses since.

 

I honestly think living with your parents while you go to school is going to stunt your growth as an adult and put you far behind some other people your age mentally and emotionally. I think having paid rent and getting tired of it and moving on by the time I was 20 and moving onto paying a mortgage put me well ahead of most people I knew who were my age and there's a big advantage to that in life.

 

With that being said, I also see what other people are saying that you're nearly blessed by having your parents there like this and there are people who would give their left arm to have what you have.

 

I think it comes down to how you feel deep down inside and what you really want. Like I said, you're going to mature more slowly living at home but is it important enough to you to move out and deal with work, possibly roommates to make getting the rent paid easier and absolutely dead-tired exhausted days and nights trying to pull off school at the same time?

 

To a point you do have to look at your peers and use them as a gauge as to where you are and checking to see if you're in the right place or not. At the end of the day though, it comes down to where you want to be. Your life will be so much easier with your parents but you won't build half as much character. Are you okay with that?

 

 

 

You don't need to be dead tired exhausted and to work 30 hours per week whilst in school dull time, in order to build character.

 

It is much more sensible to study PART TIME - if you MUST move away form home, and work FULL TIME to allow for the rent and cost of living to be paid for.

 

I have built a lot of character - without having to study full time and also work full time in order to support my studies - I have been through massively character building events without having to move out of home in my 20's.

 

A person can develop a strong sense of character while additionally bettering themselves WITHOUT having to do things YOUR way.

 

OTHER things happen to people - and you know, people DO work hard in their careers and in their college work.

 

Actually, I am sure you probably couldn't handle the course work of a radiologist - which is a specialist doctor - and work full time.

 

Not many people can handle med school and also work full time.

 

Your post couldn't be more deluded.

 

College full time = character building and hard work for most.

 

Full time work = character building, most people hate their jobs or managers or both and yet they still do it to the best of their abilities every day.

 

I have know idea why you purport that you have to work AND study full time in order to have enough character building obstacles to go on and be successful?

 

The most successful person I know was at home until age 24 - they graduated and afforded their first mortgage - they wouldn't have afforded a mortgage if they had been renting....

[Arieswoman]

Badjuju,

I'll be 22 in December and I feel ashamed that I still live at home.

 

Why?

 

As other posters have said, you have parents that are helping to support you, so you can train for a worthwhile career. Be grateful and stop comparing yourself to others.

 

And Good Luck with your studies

[pink_sugar]

So why not live with several roommates? I suppose I don't understand why that would stop anyone spreading their wings. It's not a realistic expectation to move into your own home from your family's I agree so why not take several steps?

 

My point being that no one can truly be on their own at a young age where I'm from when a one bedroom apartment is like $1800 and up. 4 people renting such a small space isn't realistic either long term, so of course a lot of people stay at home. Pay your parents rent. Plenty of responsibility to be learned from that. It's not like this guy is 30. I know I sure as hell wouldn't pay $1000 a month to rent a room.

 

I was on my own at 18 and went broke from paying that kind of money for housing. Struggled for 7 years before being forced out of the area due to constant increases in cost of living. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone else. Let the guy finish his education and get a decent job before getting his own place. He'll be much better off.

Edited October 23, 2014 by pink_sugar

[Leigh 87]

hahaa..

 

I earn 300 - 500 on weekends. I will be getting an additional 200 per week ( aussie student benefits to cover necessities)

 

Why on earth would anyone wish to throw 300 per week of that towards rent? Why not live with parents and put rent money towards a mortgage for when you graduate?

 

It takes the averge Aussie ten years to save for a mortgage when they RENT.

 

SANS rent - students would likely save for a house deposit through just working part time, studying, and saving most of what they earn!

 

Lol, they can still work hard at their future jobs and develop a solid work ethic without having to live away from home during their full time studies.

 

Character building happens with full time study and part time work - irrespective of HOW you live during it -

 

Where I live, any full time student that also works part time, will all attest to a large element of character building taking place when they study for hours a day AND also juggle part time, sometimes 25 per hour jobs...

 

To build character, is it really necessary to live away from home and therefore have to work even more, 30 hours per week is required in order to support oneself in most developed nations......

 

How about relationships break downs? Illness? Many things build character lol.

 

The OP is doing a medical based degree - it is lunacy to suggest he work MORE in order to support himself fully.....

[Leigh 87]

My point being that no one can truly be on their own at a young age where I'm from when a one bedroom apartment is like $1800 and up. 4 people renting such a small space isn't realistic either long term, so of course a lot of people stay at home. Pay your parents rent. Plenty of responsibility to be learned from that. It's not like this guy is 30. I know I sure as hell wouldn't pay $1000 a month to rent a room.

 

I was on my own at 18 and went broke from paying that kind of money for housing. Struggled for 7 years before being forced out of the area due to constant increases in cost of living. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone else. Let the guy finish his education and get a decent job before getting his own place. He'll be much better off.

 

I earned enough to live alone when I worked in sales (personal training and jewellery designing)

 

Luckily I didn't move out of home in a haste - I soon lost everything I earned through bad decisions in life and being young and non committal and impulsive and also an illness thrown into the equation.

 

If I had gone and moved out I would have been bankrupt.

 

Many parents are there to support heir children until they have solid, stable jobs and incomes and also some life experience under their belt so that they don't frivolously throw away their earning in case of a rainy day....

 

It is super costly to live alone at a young age, a full time student would barely survive even with 25 hours work per week...

[LuckyLady13]

Badjuju, at 22 it's definitely not something to be ashamed of but like Emilia has been able to see coming from the other side of the fence in this situation, we are at a big advantage early on because there's so much to learn about the world you think you're learning living with your parents.

 

It's just up to you and how fast you want to get ahead in life. You're making a career move and I think that's awesome. You'll learn quite a bit when you get to work in this field, working with people of all different ages and backgrounds and that will be great but even that just can't teach you all the things you're going to learn on your own when you move out.

 

I've had grown adults live with me over the years and when I think back on it, they always seemed to end up down on their luck and all of them moved out of their parents house late in life.

 

I was already getting a mortgage under my belt after paying rent a few years at the ripe age of 20 and learning the hard way how not to do things (no rent) but I managed fine and better than fine, actually. Went on to own two businesses after that and like I said, house number 2 now which is in the exact place I wanted to move to.

 

If I lived with my parents at 22, that would've put me 5 years behind where I am right now. So, at this point, I still wouldn't have the second house (just moved in a year ago) and all the things I have. My business alone 5 years ago was nothing compared to what it is now. It was tiny and I was fumbling through things.

 

Sometimes a few years makes a really huge difference! 5 years ago I couldn't even see what I was going to do today. The things we're doing with this place (I'm at work right now:D). I didn't know it was going to expand, get this big and I'd have to move because of it.

 

Knowing what I know right now and if I was given a time machine to go back to being 17 to do it all over, I'd have my bags packed so fast you'd think the place was on fire! I'd do it exactly the same...

[pink_sugar]

hahaa..

 

I earn 300 - 500 on weekends. I will be getting an additional 200 per week ( aussie student benefits to cover necessities)

 

Why on earth would anyone wish to throw 300 per week of that towards rent? Why not live with parents and put rent money towards a mortgage for when you graduate?

 

It takes the averge Aussie ten years to save for a mortgage when they RENT.

 

SANS rent - students would likely save for a house deposit through just working part time, studying, and saving most of what they earn!

 

Lol, they can still work hard at their future jobs and develop a solid work ethic without having to live away from home during their full time studies.

 

Character building happens with full time study and part time work - irrespective of HOW you live during it -

 

Where I live, any full time student that also works part time, will all attest to a large element of character building taking place when they study for hours a day AND also juggle part time, sometimes 25 per hour jobs...

 

To build character, is it really necessary to live away from home and therefore have to work even more, 30 hours per week is required in order to support oneself in most developed nations......

 

How about relationships break downs? Illness? Many things build character lol.

 

The OP is doing a medical based degree - it is lunacy to suggest he work MORE in order to support himself fully.....

 

This! Where I used to live, it was almost impossible to even save anything for a mortgage, because your rent keeps increasing 16% each year. I remember my rent going from $1175 to $1680 in THREE YEARS for a one bedroom apartment. How in the world can anyone save for a home?

[pink_sugar]

I earned enough to live alone when I worked in sales (personal training and jewellery designing)

 

Luckily I didn't move out of home in a haste - I soon lost everything I earned through bad decisions in life and being young and non committal and impulsive and also an illness thrown into the equation.

 

If I had gone and moved out I would have been bankrupt.

 

Many parents are there to support heir children until they have solid, stable jobs and incomes and also some life experience under their belt so that they don't frivolously throw away their earning in case of a rainy day....

 

It is super costly to live alone at a young age, a full time student would barely survive even with 25 hours work per week...

 

Unfortunately, my dad was abusive so I couldn't stay at home...literally moved out the day of my 18th birthday. We lived hand to mouth for 7 years before being forced to move out of the area.