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My ridiculously overprotective parents are driving me insane...


purplesoccer34

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purplesoccer34

I graduated from a 4-year university last year, and I tried for months to find a job, without any luck. I ultimately found a job but it wasn't enough for me to be able to live on my own. I still have that job and I'm currently living with my parents.

 

I managed to get into graduate school and just started classes. I'm doing my masters degree in a field which is a lot more employable than my college major, so I have a good feeling I'll find a job in 2 years. I'm paying for graduate school myself.

 

Living with my parents has become pure torture because of how overprotective they are. When I tell them I'm going to hang out with my friends (and yes I have to let them know that I'm leaving and what time I'm going to be back), I have to be back by a certain time. If I'm not back by that time, they will call nonstop until I get home. One day, I didn't come home until 1 am and they got so worried that they went looking for me all over. This was despite me answering their calls, telling them that I'll be home soon. Generally, they want me to be home by 11 pm. I'm also not allowed to go on vacation with my friends, anywhere. I'm not allowed to sleepover at friends' places. I'm not allowed to leave my house to go anywhere if it's past 9 pm.

 

This is all so utterly frustrating because I have a close group of friends and they are all such great people. They even know my parents and my parents say they like and trust all of them. I hate that they plan weekend trips to places and I can never go. I honestly haven't gone traveling in a very long time, because I'm not allowed to go anywhere unless it's with my parents. When I break a rule, they say a whole bunch of things that make me feel guilty such as how I'm making their life so difficult and how I don't respect them, blah blah blah. My friends hate that I can never attend their hangout sessions, especally since they all like to hangout at night. I hate living my life like this. I'm 23 years old and I want to live my life the way other 23 year olds do. I like meeting new people and making new friends and doing interesting things but I can't do that. Nowadays my parents are even stricter since I'm in grad school. They think that going out every Saturday or something is going to make my grades plummet, so now they're limiting my going out to just once a month. I find this unbelievable for someone my age, and I feel very ashamed that I'm being treated like a child. It makes me feel even more worthless for not being able to find a decently paying job.

 

I'm still trying to find a full time job but now that's somewhat difficult since I'm in grad school. I really dont' know what to do. Talking to my parents is out of the question since they are extremely stubborn. I really wish I could move out. What other options do I have?

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Stand up for yourself and express how they make you feel in the calmest, most respectful way possible.

 

Have an adult conversation with them if you want them to stop treating you like their baby. Have you tried that yet?

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I'm almost getting the impression that they're putting the screws to you in order to get you moved out faster. They might be doing it for your own good - you know, making it a bit uncomfortable to live at home so that you don't end up living there until you're 40. That's actually a pretty good parenting decision, to be honest.

 

You might not like this, but since you're still living at your parent's house, you must follow their rules. That's it.

 

You're annoyed that they won't let you live as an independent adult, but as long as you're living at their house, you're not an independent adult. You just have to grin and bear it until you're able to get out on your own.

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aussietigerwolf

Sounds rather passive agressive if they are doing it just to encourage him to leave. Why not just have an adult conversation about not wanting him living at home when he's 40.

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Can't you get a roommate or 2 and move out? If you live under their roof, you should be respectful and follow their rules. If you don't want too you should move out.

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