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Being Demonised


i.want.out.

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i.want.out.

Hello all,

 

how did you deal with being demonized after you cut off ties with your family?

People rarely come and apologize to you, but instead keep on living in their denial (you were the bad one, etc) Sometimes,we just want acknowledgement that it was not all in our head, and that our feelings were justified. Yet, we never end up getting that apology, and instead become vilified.

 

Do you become the bigger person and start resuming ties with them? Do you leave things like that?

 

Thanks

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You reach a state of benign indifference.

I think Coco Chanel said it all when responding to some high-up 'Fashionistas' who frowned upon her work:

 

"I don't care what you think about me; I don't think of you at all."

 

You don't stop caring ABOUT them; you just stop caring.

 

If you let it bother you to the extent that the embers keep glowing, they are not hurting you - you are hurting you.

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Hello all,

 

how did you deal with being demonized after you cut off ties with your family?

People rarely come and apologize to you, but instead keep on living in their denial (you were the bad one, etc) Sometimes,we just want acknowledgement that it was not all in our head, and that our feelings were justified. Yet, we never end up getting that apology, and instead become vilified.

 

Do you become the bigger person and start resuming ties with them? Do you leave things like that?

 

Thanks

 

How to deal with being demonised?

 

....learn to validate yourself INternally, rather than depending on validation from others.

 

Once you achieve that--the opinions of others will no longer matter.

Only YOU can define YOU.

 

If you grew up in a family environment, where your voice was often stifled, & unheard, it's quite possible that you were 'groomed' to always put the opinions, thoughts, and feelings of others before your own. (to second-guess yourself, essentially) It's a very common outcome of dysfunctional family systems.

 

Now that you're free of those who would presume to tell you, who you are---you can start hearing the sound of your own inner voice. The more detached you become, & the longer you stay away from those who would try to control you with labeling/shaming/judging tactics---the stronger you'll become. You'll no longer allow anyone to force you into playing a role that diminishes you.

 

 

In situations where one ends up cutting ties, the closure often has to come from within....

 

 

As far as resuming ties---that's up to you. I'd recommend that you take into consideration whether or not you can enjoy a mutually respectful, reciprocal relationship with them, or not. Or will it continue to be a situation, in which you're painted as the scapegoat? And how will that affect your peace of mind?

 

^^^food for thought

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