running4timing99 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I posted this on the dating section and didn't get much feedback, hoping for more. Scared to bring a potential boyfriend home. I still live with my parents and I’m nervous/embarrassed my mothers behavior will ward him off. Especially considering how well rounded his parents are. His mom/ step dad work for the state as a law enforcement officer and an electrician and his father/step mother work in retail and at a parts factory. My mother hasn’t had a job in the last 12 years, spends alot of time facing a t.v or computer screen, and drinks like a fish. Any advice on this matter? Anyone else face this before? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 You are not your mother. We cannot choose our parents. If he's a standup guy he'll treat her with respect and not whine to you. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 What specifically are you afraid might happen? Do you think your mom will act out and say or do something offensive? Or are you just generally a little embarrassed by your mom and you think your boyfriend will judge you? I would suggest inviting him over for something other than dinner so you guys aren't just stuck there until the meal is over if something goes wrong. Maybe you can just invite him to come in and say hello to your parents when he picks you up for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author running4timing99 Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Yes I’m embarrassed of her choices in life compared to his parents and that he‘ll judge me. Considering how polite and successful his parents are. His parents are employed and engaged with each other were as mine is the opposite. My dad is usually at work, sleep, or hunting and spends little time with my mother. He might think “her mom is lazy.do I want to be around this?” As for the saying or doing something offensive. A little, not as much as the embarrassment. She does tend to lie about things such as telling people how she’s tried to get a job when in fact she hasn’t put any effort to get one and spends cash on smokes and alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Yes I’m embarrassed of her choices in life compared to his parents and that he‘ll judge me. He'd have to be some kind of douche to judge you for your parent's choices in life. Is he a douche? If so, why are you dating a douche? If not, then don't worry about it. I think people are generally pretty understanding when it comes to family issues, and they know that you have no control over your adult family members. I mean, look at all the people who hate their in-laws, yet still marry the person who came from them. People typically will not look down their nose at you because of your parents. It's just not really done. If this is still a pretty new relationship, then maybe you can put off introducing him to your parents until you feel more settled and comfortable with him. When you can think to yourself, "Of course he wouldn't consider breaking up with me just because my mom is who she is." Then you can have them meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author running4timing99 Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 He’s not a douche. He’s handsome, goal oriented, athletic, educated, a good guy. Thank you for the advice. It’s up lifting and made good points. Especially about the hating in laws. Link to post Share on other sites
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