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Is my mom narcissistic?


MidnightLunaRose

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MidnightLunaRose

Ever since I was 5 years old, I realized that my mom wasn't like any other. She threatens me and calls me a dumb b****. Today, she was in a good mood until she was hungry and wanted dinner. She yelled at me saying,"AREN'T WE GOING TO HAVE SUPPER AGAIN?!' That didn't make any seance because, I'm always the one cooking dinner for her almost every day.

 

This week we ate at different shops and restaurants. After she said that, she got herself dinner and didn't ask me if I wanted any, and ate all of it herself. I had really bad cramps and I didn't feel like making dinner and she knew that. I'm not supposed to be on my feet walking around when i have "cramps". I learned about narcissistics when my sister messaged me on facebook about it and saying, "Does it remind you of someone?" I knew she was talking about our mom.

 

This is usually how my average day starts. It starts all calm and quiet. She's in the room watching tv, and then something bad happens. Example, her dog get's in the littler box......and then all of a sudden BOOM! she's on a rampage and makes me clean the entire house. It's really weird......when she gets ticked off, she makes me clean.:confused:

 

Even when she's the one who makes all the messes, she makes me clean it up. She won't clean anything that i make a mess of because, she said that she didn't do it. But, if i said that same thing to her, when she makes me clean up her messes, she smacks me across the face.:( When she wants me to do something for her like vacuum the floor, she doesn't tell me and 10 minutes later she says, "You need to be told to do everything!" and, i'm just thinking in my head like, Well yeah, that's what you have to do. It's not like that i can read your mind.

 

Then she goes on, on, and on about how big of an ignorant b**** I am. Just because, I can't read her mind. Instead of asking me nicely to do something, she expects me to do it without her asking. How is that even possible? She makes me clean even when it's not dirty. When I have school, I only have a one day weekend because, she makes me clean every Sunday.

 

Every Summer, she complains, that I always sit on my a** and be on the internet 24/7. Tv and my laptop are the only options I have for summer vacation. I have never been on vacation my entire life. She always told me stories about how she went on summer vacation with my older sister and brother before I was born. I wish I could go on vacation for once. :(

 

Every year we go school shopping for clothes and she'll say something like, "That shirt won't fit you!" and, I never even tried it on. The dressing rooms are literally right next to us and she won't let me try it on. Instead of trying clothes on, She puts the shirt on me in front of everyone when i already have 3 layers of shirts on and she'll say no, it doesn't fit you. I had 3 layers on so of course it wouldn't of fit me.

 

Then she'll go on about how I need to loose weight. I'm tall so, I weigh more than the average girl. I only have 10 extra pounds on my stomach which i have been loosing as I get older. My mom weighs over 300 pounds and she said that She can wear my clothes and she does sometimes.Which is very disturbing:o Only some of my shirts fit her though. When she does wear them, she stretches them out so, the next time I wear it, it's too big and my bra shows. :o Which is against my school rules so, I can't wear it anymore.:mad:

 

I'm not allowed to go anywhere by myself. I'll be 18 in two months. She disapproved when I told her that I want to go to college. She said that I will never make it just because,she said so. She demanded me to stay with her for the rest of my life. When I told her no, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.My teacher's have more faith in me and think than I can go to college.

 

My half brother lost connection with my mom because, she did the same things to him. He's now working in a weis market. I can see why. My mom probably told him that he couldn't go to college either and he ended up terrible. My sister is actually in college in London studying psychology to be a therapist but, my mom didn't help her one bit. She pays everything herself and she slowly loosing connection with our mom as well.

 

My mother talks to people that she hates and argues with everybody especially with my aunt. My mom only uses her so she doesn't have to walk to the stores. When I was about 13, I first saw my mom stole from a local store. I was so shocked, I couldn't move. She saw me and she whispered me in an angry voice, "GET GOING". She stole a bunch of makeup for my sister.

 

I then thought about the all of the gifts that she got me and wondered if she stole all of them. Then I realized, she constantly lies about everything.When I first caught her in a lie she said to me, "Sometimes you have to lie." Ever since then, I couldn't trust her. When she found my journal she said, "You better not write in here about how i treat you!" I told her that I don't but, I actually do.:( I have to get my anger out somehow.

 

She always threatens me that If I tell people what she does or what she does to me, she'll call children youth and they'll take me away and put me with my dad. Which always scares me because, as a child he beat me and he was an alcoholic. What kind of mother says something like that to her daughter? :(

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Toddbt12y1

I am terribly sorry about your whole situation.

 

I am no expert on family. She cannot admit wrong? She shows more mental traits then narcissistic behavior. She is abusive. Compulsive liar. Uses people and terribly mistreats her own daughter. I'd say she suffers from bipolar disorder. If she wasn't constantly like this.

 

Maybe BPD; borderline personality disorder.

 

But like I said. I am not able to give you accurate advice on this...sorry.

 

Someone else will I am sure.

 

I want you to go to college. I know you can. Don't go because we believe you can. Don't not go...because of your mother. Go...because it is good for you. You will have a much better life. Don't let her negativity define you. Excel. Grow into a much better woman than your mom. Stay away from her abuse. When you're free of her.

 

You are indeed a pretty girl. Don't let your mom bring you down -- you're amazing. She is abusive. She is overweight and wishes to make you feel bad about it...pushes it off on you.

 

Please. She is not worthy of you as her child.

 

I know this isn't great advice. Another poster will advise you better. Hang in there. You aren't those things your mental mother tells you.

 

Please use LS as an outlet for anything. We will be glad to help you.

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DannyMason

She doesn't sound narcissistic to me, but she's obviously emotionally abusive and for your own sake you need to find a way out of this toxic situation. You need to find self-sufficient employment.

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Along narcissistic she is also a raging bitch and I speak from experience.

O by all means tell her to call "children's services" and then tell them all she does this because you take it.

Hon open your mouth and let it rip if she makes one step toward you call the police make sure that she gets you will if she but lay one finger on you do not bluff and do not back off.

 

 

 

You might get kicked out you might hear every insult on earth she might make sky fall on your head but until you don't confront her she won't quit or you loose your mind or leave that place.

 

 

 

Am sure you have broken heart are scared and more but bullies only stop when you stop running and turn on them.

As for college if there is a way to do it do it as matter of fact do not tell her anything anymore nothing personal that can be used against you.

Ignore her whenever you can do your chores but Ignore her she attacks YOU fight back she has to be taught you won't take anymore of that s... not again.

 

 

 

First time is hardest but once you do it you will feel much better and more in control and this whole thing is about that "taking back your life" and you being one that controls it.

 

Keep coming back and keep us posted

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She might be. It sounds sort of like what a narcissistic mother would say and do. Instead of bettering herself she puts other people down. That's what my mother did. My father followed suit.

 

You're probably also hesitant to move on with your life because you feel guilty leaving your mother who is the only parent you keep in touch with? I'm guessing? Same here, I come from a 1st gen immigrant family. My parents don't keep in touch with their family from their motherland so neither do I. It's literally just me, my sisters, and my mother and father. It's hard but sometimes you find people.

 

Ever since going to college I've met so many people who play the role of my mother, father, aunt, etc. They are my friends but they listen and they care. They're not like my mother where if I told her how my day was ("Oh it was pretty stressful, i had several customers yell at me for nothing that I did.") She would probably say ("Oh you think you're day was bad? I had to drive your sisters around here and do this and that and blah blah blah. My day was worse than yours hope you feel better about your day.")

 

Uh...no. Not really.

 

I suggest you do whatever you can to get away from your mother. You will never grow as a person, you will never truly get to experience YOUR life with her in it. I would highly suggest focusing on getting a job and becoming self-sufficient. If you can get into college. Do it. You're 18 and that's the prime time to go to college. Take government loans, do whatever you can to get there and once you hit college, get a part time job. But don't forget to have fun too :)

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