sillyputty93 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I don’t even know where to start with this. I love my Mum and I respect her absolutely. I admire the sacrifices she has made after Dad did a runner when me and my sister were only 3 (we are twins). Mum has kept her relationships very private over the years so much so that I really don’t even know if she has had any really serious ones. Well that all changed a few months ago when mum introduced us to her partner. To be honest I was excited and happy for mum when she told us and I was eager to meet this man that mum said she was very much in love with. Well this man turned out to actually be a woman and she is only 19. Now I very much wish my mum to be happy but I am really struggling to accept this. I don’t care that it’s a woman at all but she is 19 !! I am only 20, mum is 37. To make matters worse, I can’t help my stupid hormones. She is a very very attractive woman and she wears revealing clothing. Things like cut off tops and short shorts. We have a pool and she wears her bikini when swimming, I can’t help but look. I feel so guilty that I am eyeing off my own mums girlfriend. I got so worked up over this that I moved out and now mum thinks that I don’t approve of her relationship. Whilst I have issues that mums girlfriend is younger than me and my sister I am prepared to suck it up because mum really deserves her happiness. But I am really really really attracted to her and I can’t shake it. I am struggling living away from home financially and really need to move back home but I don’t want to be the perverted guy that’s has designs on his mums partner. How do I tell mum I love her and want her to be happy but also tell her I can’t come home because her girlfriend is “hot”. Especially considering mum is really pushing for me to come back home as she knows I am struggling. I don’t want mum to have to choose either her girlfriend or me. I really need to find myself a girlfriend to get my mind out of the gutter, I am so ashamed of myself. I keep asking myself why mum couldn’t find herself a nice 35-40 year old girlfriend and then we could all be happy, rather than by some freak of nature not only finding but starting up a relationship with my ideal woman. And my sister of course loves to poke fun at me about this. As soon as she saw mums girlfriend she knew too. She knew what my ideal girlfriend was standing there right in front of me but was out of bounds to me. Anyone have anything I can work with to get through this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jaykayelle Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Oh wow. That is quite the age difference. The only things I can advise are: 1. Find a friend to occupy your time. I know you can't help who you are attracted to, but you'll have to control it, somehow. And if you do decide to move back home, find a way to stay occupied when your mother's gf is over; even if it means that you leave the house, for a while. 2. Let nature run its course. That is quite the age difference, and there's a really good chance that they won't last very long. Take it from a woman that dates women. I'm 29, and my gf is 43. There are times I wish that either she was a bit younger, or I was a bit older. But with such an age gap between her and your mother-- intent, interests and things in common probably aren't all that similar. Ride it out, man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sillyputty93 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 That is quite the age difference, and there's a really good chance that they won't last very long. They have just recently celebrated their one year anniversary. They are both very much into lobbying for equal rights marriage. It's illegal here but there is a big push for it to become legal. They often talk about getting married once it is legal. Can't wait for mum's girlfriend to become my stepmum <-- sarcasm Find a friend to occupy your time. I know you can't help who you are attracted to, but you'll have to control it, somehow. And if you do decide to move back home, find a way to stay occupied when your mother's gf is over; even if it means that you leave the house, for a while. This is all I can do isn't it. I need a social life. It sucks being a stay at home nerd. Should I tell mum of my feelings or keep it to myself? Link to post Share on other sites
Msrxchef Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I would hold off on telling your mom your feelings. Even if you're attracted to her girlfriend, I would first get out there in the world and find someone else. And who knows maybe it'll turn out wonderful! Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Hilarious story. Definitely gave me some laughs on this Monday morning. Maybe your mom's gf has a sister for you? Getting your own gf and relationship is probably the best way to deal with your feelings. You need somewhere to channel your sexual and relationship feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Sorry OP you made me laugh with the story Agree that you need to find a girlfriend. You did the right thing by moving out, tell your mum you think her gf is great but don't get into too much detail It will be fine. I hope you can support yourself financially, that's my biggest concern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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