Grocery Shopping Dilemma

[Zidonuke]

I am 21 years old. (female) I am a full time Monday-Friday college student. I live with my mom, my stepdad, and my 18 year old brother. For the past three months, my parents have not gone grocery shopping. In fact, they don't even run to the store to get the basics like milk and eggs. No frozen foods like pizza either. I can post a picture of my refrigerator.. there is nothing in there. The only time that my stepdad goes grocery shopping is to buy little debbies, bread, and lunch meat for his lunch at work. My brother and I aren't allowed to touch any of the food he buys. And trust me, he COUNTS how many little debbies are left. We can't touch those little debbies. lol.

 

What do we do for food, you ask? Go out to eat. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. And I'm not exaggerating. I don't remember a night in these past three months that my parents haven't hopped in the car to go to a restaurant or get fast food. This, alone, bothers me. But what really bothers me is that they don't buy me food and they won't pay for my food. My mom is unemployed, and my stepdad makes all of the money. When they go and get fast food every night, they go and get it without getting anything for my brother and I. They don't even offer. They try to keep it a secret that they went anywhere.

 

My brother and I are left to fend for ourselves. Often times he gets in his car, I get in mine, and we all go our separate ways for fast food every night. I would kill for a homecooked meal. I would kill for it! I had a job a couple months ago but I had to quit. When I was working, I would buy the groceries and my family would eat them. I would get so pissed off, that I would stop doing it. I don't mind buying milk and eggs, but my stepdad is such a fatty he eats everything in sight. Even the healthy stuff, like the oranges I would buy.

 

WHAT CAN I DO? I'm sick of starving! Right now, my boyfriend is buying me food every night and once in awhile I go to his house. His mom cooks meals almost every night, but I can't eat there every night! I would get a job on top of going to full time school to pay for my groceries, but it really pulled down my GPA. I have a hard time learning, and I really need to concentrate on school right now.

 

Any suggestions? The only thing that I can think of is to save up and buy my own small fridge and hide it from my family....

[Balzac]

But what really bothers me is that they don't buy me food and they won't pay for my food.

 

You're 21 and apparently have/had no agreement w mom/stepdad about

covering your expenses while you're in college. You've got funds for your car, fast food, a potential small refrigerator for your bedroom.

 

Maybe your post was a rant?

[CarrieT]

Lots of people go to school full time and take care of themselves.

 

Why are you expecting your family to take care of you at 21 years of age?

 

Sounds like it is time to grow up and stop being in the place of entitlement.

[Zidonuke]

But what really bothers me is that they don't buy me food and they won't pay for my food.

 

You're 21 and apparently have/had no agreement w mom/stepdad about

covering your expenses while you're in college. You've got funds for your car, fast food, a potential small refrigerator for your bedroom.

 

Maybe your post was a rant?

Didn't want it to be too long, so I forgot to add some information. My boyfriend pays for the gas for my car and my food every night. My dad, who lives 3 hours away, bought me my car and pays for the insurance.

 

My stepdad told me that he doesn't like grocery shopping and will not be grocery shopping, and to get a job if I can't pay for food. My boyfriend would buy me the fridge, if need be. My boyfriend refuses to buy me actual groceries at the moment because my family will eat them all. He doesn't want to pay for my mom and stepdad to eat if they won't pay for me to eat. (He has other issues with them too, but won't go into all that.)

 

When I did have a job, I used to help my boyfriend out with his college payments and bought him all sorts of stuff, including taking him out to eat. So now he has a job and is taking care of me for awhile. He's a real sweetheart.

[Zidonuke]

Lots of people go to school full time and take care of themselves.

 

Why are you expecting your family to take care of you at 21 years of age?

 

Sounds like it is time to grow up and stop being in the place of entitlement.

I am fine taking care of myself. I am sick of them eating my food! Also, I don't know anyone who goes to college full time and lives on their own AND buys groceries (especially without taking out loans, If I wanted to take out loans, of course I could buy groceries with the government's money). If I want to live with like five other people or work 3 jobs, yeah I could do it.

 

But really, who wants a life like that? I am fine with my 40 hours a week, thank you.

[Balzac]

"I am fine taking care of myself"

 

You posted that you "had" a job ~ past tense. Now you cryptically

comment about 40 hours. Are we to take your 40 hr comment

to refer to bring a FT student, absent loans? OR are you in fact

working FT?

[Zidonuke]

"I am fine taking care of myself"

 

You posted that you "had" a job ~ past tense. Now you cryptically

comment about 40 hours. Are we to take your 40 hr comment

to refer to bring a FT student, absent loans? OR are you in fact

working FT?

I am going to class every day Monday-Friday. 16 Credits. From 8am-4pm. Right now, I get grants and I've had enough scholarships to pay for the whole thing. At the end of June, I will have a two-year degree in Accounting. Trying my best to not take out any loans.

 

Not sure if I am going to go on to four-year yet... Do you think maybe I should try part-time work and part-time school, if I do decide to go part-time? My mom told me to keep pushing on and just try to only do school, but sometimes I want to just live more comfortably, go at my own pace with school.

[melodymatters]

Ok, the grants are good, and if you take 12 credit hours you can still receive them and go on and get your 4 yr degree. Accounting is a practical field and you will make a lot more if you take the CPA exam.

 

Most college kids I know DO have some sort of part time job, if all you need is food money, that could be a one day a week gig. ( Most people DON'T want those "one day a week on Sat or Sun" jobs, buy it sounds perfect for you)

 

Mini fridges can be found on craigs list for 20 bucks.

 

You might be eligible for food stamps as a full time student.

 

I'm a food snob who eats healthy, and when I lived alone I could do that for around 40 bucks a week.

 

There definitely is a way around this, if you apply a little bit of thought and effort I'm sure you can figure out a way to eat !

[amaysngrace]

I'm sorry you have a messed up family. There is nobody in my whole entire family, aunts and uncles and cousins included, who would ever let anyone go hungry.

 

That sucks.

[MsSmurf]

The situation you're experiencing while living with your family is very similar to what life would be like if you lived with roommates. You're an adult and it is your responsibility to feed yourself whether that's going out to eat or grocery shopping and then cooking for yourself. And yes it is very common to buy groceries and discover that they've been eaten by your roommates (in your case its your family). At your age I had roommates and this happened repeatedly until I literally ran out of money to buy more. Then I learned to spend my money going out to eat or keep food in my room.

 

At the age you and your brother are it makes sense that your mom and stepdad are doing much less for you. Eventually they expect you to move out or they'll tell you to move out and then you'll have to do everything for yourself. You can definitely handle a part time job with your course load and that will give you the spending money you need for food and other stuff. Your brother should also be working at least part time as well.

[KyRose]

You are 21, not 12.

 

Like it or not, whether some agree or not, your parents no longer are responsible for you.

 

If you really want an education, you will make it happen, even if you have to work for a living and go to school part time, or take out loans.

[pink_sugar]

Your situation reminds me a lot of when my husband and I were dating. When my husband lived at home, his mom and stepdad would often go out out to eat and leave him at home to fend for himself. They also weren't having any financial difficulties and there were no home cooked meals. When my husband and I started dating, we went out to eat nearly every meal. Our parents wanted us to cook at home, but always complained when we did. So we were always dammed if we do, doomed if we don't type of situation. Anyways, you are 21 though and your brother is 18, so your parents aren't obligated to feed you anymore. It really doesn't cost much to feed one or two people off of a small salary unless you eat a lot. My husband and I manage to live off of $250 a month for all food.