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Only Married 178 Days


PrisonerSteven557

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PrisonerSteven557

I've been married only 178 days (Married on October 6, 2012) And my wife (she was formerly in a lesbian relationship for 10 years before reconnecting with me in 2010) has skillfully & successfully emasculated me. Advising me constantly about my judgemental attitude. She is having to pay child support for her and her (so called ex's) son. The boy is my wifes sister's son. I am not allowed to speak, and/or express my feelings. I now know who wears the panties is this relationship, and it's not her.

Any suggestions???

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Individual counseling.

 

Working with your counselor to help express your feelings directly and honestly (when appropriate) and stand up for yourself. Also, understanding that for someone to "advise you on your attitude" does not equate to "emasculating" you. Her remarks may have been ill-considered, pointless, rude, or foolish (or maybe they were unobjectionable, impossible to tell from your post), but that in no way emasculates you.

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PrisonerSteven557

I would love to try counseling for both of us. And I've expressed my desire to go to counseling with her. She told me that she didn't have any problems at all. And that she also stated that believes that I am the one who is insane.

I'm sorry that my initial post was not that clear. But as it I am disabled due to an auto accident on August 5, 2000 in Escondido, California. I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury.

I hope this explains my writing in my initial post. Thank you for your understanding. :)

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You are not insane. You simply had a very serious injury which affects your behavior.

Look at Gary Busey's behavior as proof; he also suffers from TBI.

 

Nobody can emasculate or control you unless you allow it. Your ex is using your illness to manipulate you which is unacceptable. I had an ex just like that when I was younger.

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PrisonerSteven557

Thank you Nyla for your kind words. At the time of the accident, the doctors in the hospital where I was taken to, made the decision to operate on my skull immediately. The right side was cracked open, and the left side of my brain was badly bruised. The doctors didn't give me much hope of survival. The three of them (all Board Certified Neuro Surgeons) said that I would have to have between 3 & 4 years of Physical Therapy just to get some motor skills back. I wrote down on a piece of paper "you (the surgeons) are wrong! I will do it in less time then that." I finished Physical Therapy in 11 months. I have some Cognitive Behavioral issues now, but I am a survivor. Plus directly after the auto accident I had a Near Death Experience.

The thing that hurts me the most is that my wife treats me like an invalid. That really hurts.

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Why did you marry her ?

 

You do realise that it's probably not too late to get it anulled.

 

I'm gonna write something that might make some ppl mad.

Someone has to wear the pants in every relationship, and as mad as many gay women get when they get asked 'who has the pe*is' or 'who is the man', there is some truth to that.

In that, one has to be the decision maker, or the more powerfull one ... it's like that in every relationship.

It might just be, that in her relationships she has been that person and it is very hard for her to get over it.

This however does not excuse using your ilness against you, calling her husband of a total of 6 months 'insane'.

Edited by Radu
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There are some great books you can read, too. No More Mr Nice Guy, Hold On To Your N.U.T.S., and Married Man Sex Life Primer, to start.

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ForeverHopeful1

I am trying to figure out how this relationship even came about? Why did you guys get married so quickly? It sounds like she barely had time to get over what happened in her past relationship and barely had time to start a new one before getting married. I mean, how well did you guys even know one another? Why did you guys get married at all? Im having a hard time understanding why any man would marry a lesbian or a woman in a lesbian relationship for 10 years prior to ever being with you.

 

It sounds like you have been married 178 days too long.

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dreamingoftigers

Have you been to an Amen Brain Clinic to see what parts of your brain are potentially having issues?

 

My father went for a scan two years ago and he has had amazing changes.

 

Sorry to hear of your marital difficulties.

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Why did you marry her ?

 

You do realise that it's probably not too late to get it anulled.

 

I'm gonna write something that might make some ppl mad.

Someone has to wear the pants in every relationship, and as mad as many gay women get when they get asked 'who has the pe*is' or 'who is the man', there is some truth to that.

In that, one has to be the decision maker, or the more powerfull one ... it's like that in every relationship.

It might just be, that in her relationships she has been that person and it is very hard for her to get over it.

This however does not excuse using your ilness against you, calling her husband of a total of 6 months 'insane'.

 

I didn't want to go there, but I have to admit, similar thoughts went through my mind.

 

Not making light of this tough situation. OP, if you want this marriage, then counseling is probably the way to go.

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PrisonerSteven557

Thank you for your kind words. Before the auto accident that nearly took my life, I had a very hostile attitude. I was rude to people, I didn't care who I hurt. I was unconscious for approximately 7 to 8 hours, and with in a few seconds after waking up my attitude was very different. And even today some 12 years after the accident I am more at peace with everybody. And that is why I believe that my wife is speaking out from fear, and not from love. Here is the answer to your question as to why I am with her. We met in high school back in 1977. We dated during my senior year, she was just a freshman at the time. After high school I went into the U.S. Army, and I lost contact with her. Jumping ahead to 2007, I was living in California and in the area I was in was devastated by the massive wild fires. When I came back to my apartment from the evacuation center I was lonesome and I wanted to hear a friendly voice. We reconnected via phone calls and mail or email. In 2010 she came down to California to visit her family and me. We hit it off and I decided to move up to Washington State.

I know that no marriage is perfect. My first marriage failed because of my ex wife's love of crystal meth. Our daughter was born testing positive for meth.

Today my daughter turns 10, she is artistic, and she is a wonder to behold. She has been adopted to a wonderful family. I hope this may have answered your question. Please feel free to respond back. Thank you once again. Steven

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Read the books suggested above. They are all great reads. She has not emasculated you. You have emasculated yourself. If you do not take your manhood back she will lose all respect and attraction toward you then you hear "I love you but not in love with you". Testosterone is good.

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PrisonerSteven557

I have a disability called Cognitive Behavioral Disability. And it was due to the fact that my skull was fractured.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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