Anyone know how to stop a family nut from intruding?

[Feelin Frisky]

Some of you know my mom almost died last summer and she is now in a wheelchair. My sister and I live with her in her house and take care of her. One of my other sisters has a 24 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome who keeps calling my mother multiple times a day and has gotten it in his head that he is going to move here from Oklahoma to Virginia. He is a drug addict and an irresponsible person who forgets his belongings (like hos bicycle, wallet) and he has an irrational hatred of his parents--well, hate of his dad is not so irrational (hint hint). Anyway, my mom has tried to be nice--too often for my taste--and keeps explaining to him that she may not even live more than a few months after which me and my sister will part and neither one of us is at all interested in taking him in. He is socially impeded from listening to what anyone says. He asks questions by the hundreds but is thinking of his next question while you are trying to answer the one he just asked. My mom just asked me to intervene. I have my own domicile and separate telephone so I never answer her phone and speak to him. But I did when she was in the hospital and told him my mom is not going to live for a long time and his idea that he can move in here is just unacceptable.

 

Just talking about it with her made me angry as hell and I can't talk to him right now. But I will have to. He has some kind of Section 8 housing so he is not homeless. And his family is in Oklahoma--we are just his relatives. I feel if he just packs up a U-Haul and gets someone to drive his personal belongings here, the law will force us to take him in and he's an irresponsible and sometimes violent jerk we don't want coming and going around the house even for a month. What to do? I've already told him my sister will call the cops on him and she will. She's less diplomatic than me. He doesn't seem to be able to see that as not personal--we just don't want anyone barging in here, especially someone who is a drug addict and for all practical purposes, cookoo. Yet he is now saying he'll be here April 1st just a couple of weeks away. Any legal ways to keep this nut in his own diggs in OK rather than giving my mom this grief she doesn't deserve in her final times here in VA?

 

ETA: The guidelines of this forum wouldn't let me use L-e-g-al a-d-v-i-c-e in the title of thread. I don't get that. But no suggestion would be taken by me along those lines as any implied binding contract. Call it whatever you need to.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Feelin Frisky

[Art_Critic]

I really can't answer to your county tenant laws but will tell you that in my state/county once a person/friend/family member has moved in and been there 30 days you cannot kick them out without a formal eviction process/hearing which can be delayed for a year or 2 by the person you are trying to evict.

 

My advice would be to contact an attorney and use your free call for some advice on how to proceed, I think at the very least make sure he doesn't stay there and if he shows up call the police and have him be made to leave.

 

I don't think they would make you take him in as he isn't yours or your sisters that is living there and he is of age.

 

That's all I got..other that I hope your Mom is around a lot longer than you said she might be.

[whichwayisup]

I agree with AC.

And his family is in Oklahoma

 

Then that's where he should go. Call your other sister and get her involved so she can come take her son home and look after him.

[Feelin Frisky]

Tonight it's come to a terrible head. My mom was on the phone with my sister--his mother--and this guy has bought bus tickets to come here. None of these people in Oklahoma have seen my mom for over ten years. And my nephew still sees her as a vital 60-something when in fact she has aged--is hunched over, needs a walker, uses a wheel chair. She almost died last summer, she'll be 80 on her next birthday and I hate that I have to be put in the position of saying there is no future here for him. It implies there's no future for my mother--that's a sad thing for me to even consider. But it's true. I will probably go back to NY when she passes away. No one wants to allow this irresponsible selfish druggy to barge in and disturb my mom's declining year(s). Hate this with a passion.