Issues with my mother

[ceres12]

So my mother's step sister who lives in another country is always asking her for stuff, only calls when she needs something or wants something not because she cares at all about my mother. My mother obviously does not see this for what it is and lets her step sister and her kids manipulate her into doing whatever they want. They are very selfish people very into themselves and only care about showing off to others what they have and others dont. They are miserable low lives. When her step sister came to visit she stayed with us for three months and pretty much sucked the juice out of my mother and left her in nothing but debt up to her neck. Once she left she didnt even care to bother to call my mother at all while my mother worried waited patiently to hear from her step sister who never called, yet her step sister called a friend of hers all the time instead of calling my mom who pretty much did everything for her. My mom's step sister is a hypocrite lying selfish jerk who doesnt care about anybody but herself and only communicates with my mom when she wants something or needs money. My mom pays her cell phone bill and at times thats all she would call for money. This lady is married and has 2 kids and a grandchild and they all just show interest for money. These people are self-interested selfish good for nothings and am tired and sick of laying back and watching this while they abuse of my mother like this. Obviously i said something and my mother is pretty much furious with me completely furious. I haven't spoken to her and no matter how many times she becomes disillusioned with these worthless people she always still never opens her eyes. I dont know what else to do! Am sick of this i can't stand any of them now that i am older i see them for what they truly are selfish a****s. I dont know what else to say or do to make my mother realize that they are just using her not because they give a S**** about my mother because they don't. Any advice would be appreciated my mother hates me i care about my family too much to see them be used like that for years and it gets worse and worse and she doesnt even notice it!

[ceres12]

also, i dont even know how to confront her she is furious. She always thinks that i dont have a mind of my own and how i see things is just because someone else tells me she wont ever see me as an adult or a person who has her own mind and speaks her mind and makes my own choices. She only listens to what my brother has to say above anything and never realizes how cruel people are. I dont know how else to get through her

[bluegreen]

Doll listen to me and listen to me good now for only you can save your health reason and life here we can't do it for you.

What we can do myself included is tell you our opinion and experience with this and here is mine : WASH YOUR HANDS OF ALL THIS sooner the better.

Your mom has no self respect esteem character or will she is a either poppet

or same if not worse then what she chooses to be around.

How I know this because I have a same one it took incredible will and guts for me to finaly stand up to her and them and have that trash she calls family out of my life just as yours she is blind def and stupid when its about them.

She would sell her all for one kind word from them acceptance or love and she will never GET IT why well no one freaking respects someone who does not respect themselfs first !!!

 

I paid hight price for being different then her and been called every name under a book from her : w... drug user, tief, psychopath , and can go on and on yet more she attacked along with them more I despised them and fought to keep them away.

 

Choice is yours price will be high the only question is will you make the right one and pay the price or spend your life trying to fix whats not your job am sorry if I have hurt you am trully sorry but someone needs to say this.

 

All the best to you ...

[Dragonfruit]

I agree with Bluegreen, and in a way you are acting just like your mother. Look here:

 

Mother lets X drive her crazy. Has her nose too much concerned with X's business rather than her own. X craps all over her in thanks.

 

You let Mother drive you crazy. Have you nose (sorry) too much concerned with Mother's business rather than your own. Mother craps all over you in thanks.

 

You clearly see what Mother should do.

 

And so... what should YOU do?

 

Mother is an adult and free to follow her own craziness if she wants to. She does not want nor appreciate you assitance/interference and slaps your face for it. Why in the world would you keep involving yourself under those circumstances?

 

My advice, take ten giant steps back and stay there.

 

Do not mention Mother's step-sister, ever. If you even think about all that, get up and do housework immediately to take your mind off it, until you lose that thinking habit. Tell Mother that YOU do not want to hear ONE WORD about Mother's step-sister. Whenever she brings it up, hang up or leave immediately or delete the email. Don't talk to her for a month.

 

Look up the Serenity Prayer, especially the last line... and the wisdom to know the difference. Tape it up on your well. This is how we get off the crazy train, lol.

 

Sorry, that's all I got.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Dragonfruit

[bluegreen]

TX Dragon fly : )))

I think we both made a clear point a very clear one lest hope this lady gets it and hears us.

I love that prayer to !!!!

[ceres12]

While i agree with you both am just going to leave it alone my mother is extremely hard headed the more i tried to make her realize what a crappy sister she has and tell her everything she has done it only made her stick out for her even more and defend her even more causing her to twist my words and am done when i am trying to make her see that they are using her. She is extremely in denial and am done, i am just happy been away. Your right that is not my problem it is what it is. It hurts to see her been used and sitting back and watching this but it only makes it worse to expose her step sister for what it is because she just doesn't realize it only makes her call me a liar and not believe me so i will leave it alone and ignore it.

[Dragonfruit]

That's great, and imo all you can do. Otherwise you just drive yourself bonkers and it doesn't do any good anyway, right? It really is hard to watch someone you care about repeatedly make the same mistake, especially when it's a serious one.