jakal Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 hey everyone, ok to start off ill tell you a bit about myself. im 21 years old. still living with my mom. i grasduated high school and i have a degree in graphic design. my girlfriend and my best friend were lookin for a place to rent for about 6 monthes now. and yesterday we found one. its perfect. but we have to ove in, in 2 weeks. now i have to tell my mom that im moving out in 2 weeks. not only that but that its with my girlfriend.... now this might not seem like a problem to some of you... but with my mother it is... im 21 but she treats me like im 9. she thinks im irresposible, and that i cant make my own decisions. i have an older brother. hes 23 and hes still living with my mom with no intentions to move out. i also have an older sister. shes 28 and she has no intentions on moving out.... i just dont know how to tell her that im moving out. i dont know how shes going to react... im moving out no matter what but i dont want her to be angry with me about it. i really cant stay in this house much longer. for my own mental health. i fear that im going to actualy lose my mind. i know people say that and dont actualy mean it but i do. so if i must i will tell her that... it will upset her but i hope she'l understand.... so does anyone have any advice for me on how to approach my mother about me moving out with my girlfriend? thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 OK. You need to coach yourself first. Tell yourself...you are an adult. You are your own person. You are doing what's right for you and living your OWN life. Your mum is not your responsibility. You will be OK and so will she. That can be tough...but you need to approach your mum in a strong, confident frame of mind. Then when you do speak to her, be gentle, but firm. Also be understanding, and compassionate. Tell her you do care about her, but it's time you made this decision for yourself, that you are ready to branch out. Even thank her for helping you become the person you are, and someone with the strength and confidence to take this step. If she gets angry, do not get angry back. Be calm. Do not argue. Say you will speak to her again later when she's had a chance to think about it and calm down. This is important. She could react with emotion. It's tough. I've been in similar situations, though different circumstances entirely. I have learnt through those experiences though, so I hope this helps you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jakal Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 i just feel bad. my father died a couple years ago, and my house bunrned down almost a year ago, and my mom is having to deal with the insurance company. my brother and my sister are going to say that im "abandoning my mom. but im not. ill be livng an hour away. the trouble i have is actualy telling her. once i tell her im moving i can take it from there... i always have had trouble telling people things like this. but once i do i feel better and its easier to talk to them about it. i know that bu i still have trouble with it... Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 jakal, that is very understandable and I do feel for you. And it will be tough when you tell her. But you will do just fine. Stay composed and sure in your own mind and heart, that's important. Do not let anyone convince you you are wrong or terrible. Be honest and straightforward. Be real about how you feel. You can tell your mum you find it tough to do. At least then she will know how much you do care. Assure her you will still be fairly close by and will still see her often. You do have your own life to live. That does not mean ignoring your family, but it does mean making these decisions. You'll do fine. It's nice to see someone else who worries and cares about their family, like me. Don't let it rule you too much though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jakal Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 thanks thinkalot. im gonna tell her tomorrow. i think ill have my friend there.. she loves him and it will keep me from backing out of telling her... i tend to do that. but i only have 2 weeks till i move and i cant very well tell her while im packing the day i move. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Good luck. The sooner you tell her the better. Let us now how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jakal Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 hey, sorry i havent posted in a couple days, just been really busy. but i told my mom. it went much better than i thought it would. she was supportive of my decision to move out. so thanks for the help and ill be back at some point for some more advice thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I'm so glad to hear it! Good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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