soulm8 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I lost any respect I had left for my younger brother the other day and it feels terrible. I'm losing my optimistism, my happy-go-luckiness, my hope. He told me in the past that he thought something was wrong with him because he always finds flaws in the lady he's with and ends up breaking up with her. Of course, he remains friends and is careful not to burn a bridge in the process. I used to value his perspective, because it was a glimpse into how "some" men view dating and relationships; his stories helped me to recognize red flags and not give men the benefit of the doubt so readily. I used to take comfort in my approach to dating and relationships, thinking that my open heart would be recognized by the right man but I think I'm becoming bitter and jaded now, and it's depressing the hell out of me. My brother called me a few days ago, out of the blue, to let me know that he wasn't sure if he'd be available for Easter dinner. He quickly explained that he's pretty sure he's found his "significant other" and he's just "ga-ga" over her (his words). It struck me as odd that he'd pass on his family for a girl... I mean, our father came from out of town to have Easter dinner with us. Anyhow, what I can't seem to shake over the whole thing is how insecure he's become over her. He's a lovestruck teenager and it's disgusting. No, that's not it. What's bothering me is how he is focusing on her assets and the fact that she doesn't "need" him. Not to mention they just met a week ago! She has a great career and lives in a million dollar home. He's worried that he doesn't measure up to her ideal man. I can't help but hope that she shreds his heart to pieces so he can finally understand what he's been doing to the women in his life. I feel terrible just saying that, but it is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
dongkong Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Im a bit confused with the post. I guess you think your brother dosnt treat the girls he dates nicely. I cant really give any advice on that to be honest. I guess if he does get dumped by this new gf, he will indeed know how it feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulm8 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Well, it did. She ate him up an spit him out. He went on to be wishy washy with a new girl and doesn't understand why he's alone. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Find him a good book or article about limerence or PEA chemicals. You should read it, too. It tells about the chemicals that biologically make people feel 'good' around someone they are dating and go 'gaga' over them. It's biological, it happens to all of us, it makes us do stupid things in the name of love (which is really just a temporary addiction to the chemicals), and it fades from our bodies after 3 to 4 years, usually (give or take a year). That's why you don't rush into relationships, you ensure that you still want each other after the chemical high is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 But what he REALLY needs is a book like Married Man Sex Life Primer, or maybe No More Mr. Nice Guy. These books teach men that women WANT strong, independent men who are sure of themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
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