Lishy Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I dont know if any of you remember but my ex cheated on me and I was extremely upset for a year, it took me so long to get over him and I cried a bucket of tears. Only in the last few months have I been over him and got him out of my life and head. Anyway he is a floor layer and my sister has been having work done at her house and I am sooo upset that her and her husband arranged for my ex to lay their floor as he could do it for half the quoted price ... I have told her just how I feel and have no feelings of talking to her now, this upsets me more as I never row with my sis and I cant describe just how hurt I am, its as if I have been sold down the river for a few quid. Its ok, just treat my sister like sh*t and I will line your pockets and have you in my house. How will I get over this? How could she have him in her house and listen to him talking about me and relay it to me when she knows I only recently got over him? This is too painful for me and if anyone hurt her like he hurt me I would not have them in my house doing work even if it was for free! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I agree that's a nasty thing for your sister to do Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I dont know if any of you remember but my ex cheated on me and I was extremely upset for a year, it took me so long to get over him and I cried a bucket of tears. Only in the last few months have I been over him and got him out of my life and head. Anyway he is a floor layer and my sister has been having work done at her house and I am sooo upset that her and her husband arranged for my ex to lay their floor as he could do it for half the quoted price ... I have told her just how I feel and have no feelings of talking to her now, this upsets me more as I never row with my sis and I cant describe just how hurt I am, its as if I have been sold down the river for a few quid. Its ok, just treat my sister like sh*t and I will line your pockets and have you in my house. How will I get over this? How could she have him in her house and listen to him talking about me and relay it to me when she knows I only recently got over him? This is too painful for me and if anyone hurt her like he hurt me I would not have them in my house doing work even if it was for free! That's kinda breaking the code of breakups and family and ex's if you ask me. Respecting what you went through should be worth more than a discount. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 i'm sorry that your sister has hurt your feelings Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. As I get older I have started to realize that the family that you choose is sometimes just better and more psychologically healthy than your family of origin. The friends I have had for years and years have become like a second family for me, and with the exception of my mother, they tend to be far more supportive and loving and communicative than my "real" family. I'm sorry, Lish. I wish that she hadn't gone and done this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 I just cant get over this Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Is your town small, like there are only a few options for that sort of thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Is your town small, like there are only a few options for that sort of thing? Star I live in London there are about a million floor layers Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Star I live in London there are about a million floor layers Oh, well. Yeah. Bad on her. REALLY bad on her. Has she expressed any regret? Was it just a stupid moment of not thinking? Did she ask you first? Was it her decision, or her H's? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Is he giving her some fabulous discount as an apology for screwing you over? Is she viewing the rate he quoted as ********* tax? Does he typically charge much more? Cause I'm not sure it would upset me if one of my siblings got a crappy ex of mine to work for cost of materials. I'd consider it penance I didn't have to do anything to get. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Is he giving her some fabulous discount as an apology for screwing you over? Is she viewing the rate he quoted as ********* tax? Does he typically charge much more? Cause I'm not sure it would upset me if one of my siblings got a crappy ex of mine to work for cost of materials. I'd consider it penance I didn't have to do anything to get. That's a great point..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Ha I dont class it as penance and he is certainly not doing it for free. If anyone hurt her like he hurt me then I would not have him in my house free of charge! Maybe I am just too loyal and I dont see it as penance one tiny bit, my own family has brought him back into my life when I fought for a year to get him out of my life and my head Link to post Share on other sites
PhillySpecial Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 If you don't want to talk to her for several months that's totally understandable. She should have put your feelings ahead of her bank account. That was extremely tacky of her to do. After a few months, if you feel like talking to her again do so but on your own terms. Put yourself first. Hopefully one day she will come to you and apologize for what she did, but in the meantime I would just focus on myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Thanks so much guys I have listened to what everyone has said, thanks again ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 11, 2010 Author Share Posted April 11, 2010 Oh this is great ... Now my ex is texting me again! I am so effin pissed that my own god damned sister has brought him back into my life I feel so hurt I feel like I will never get over it and I hate this feeling! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 11, 2010 Share Posted April 11, 2010 Does your sister normally do things like this? Is this a one-time offense or does she regularly show blatant disregard for your feelings? Is it possible that maybe she just had a moment where she wasn't thinking? Is it possible that she somehow thought that she might be doing a good thing by reuniting you two? Disregard for a moment whether her judgment was good or bad; think about what may have been on her mind. Sometimes people make mistakes, and we assume the worst of their intentions when in fact they are nothing more than mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 11, 2010 Author Share Posted April 11, 2010 Am, no me and my sis are normally tight, we are a very close family. She has not done this to deliberately hurt me but she hates him (so I thought) and I cant get over the fact that she had him in her house to save money. She has lined his pockets and now he is texting me again ... Probably because he thinks my family have forgiven him now and he probably thinks it was ok with me that they asked him to do the floor This is really breaking my heart Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 11, 2010 Share Posted April 11, 2010 Am, no me and my sis are normally tight, we are a very close family. She has not done this to deliberately hurt me but she hates him (so I thought) and I cant get over the fact that she had him in her house to save money. She has lined his pockets and now he is texting me again ... Probably because he thinks my family have forgiven him now and he probably thinks it was ok with me that they asked him to do the floor This is really breaking my heart I hope she doesn't hate him - or anyone for that matter. Nor should you. It's a destructive emotion. It doesn't look like she hates him all that much, and I concede that it's a bit bizarre that she would invite him, of all people, to do the work. I guess the one thing you could say in this situation is that she's a bit stingy - or maybe she and her husband together are stingy. Maybe not the best of her qualities. But people are human after all. Maybe you should just tell her that you don't find this the least bit respectful of your feelings, which I'm sure you've already done. If he hasn't already started, maybe it's not too late for her to find someone else? Or if it is, then just ask her to keep the contact to a minimum. Just don't respond to the texts. I agree that she and her husband ought to consider your feelings here, and it's surprising that they didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 This is simply not okay. If it were my sister, I'd be totally off my rocker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted April 12, 2010 Author Share Posted April 12, 2010 Thanks D, I sort of need to know I am not the only one who would be so hurt Link to post Share on other sites
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