Barby Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Okay real quick background...I'm just coming out of a 1/2 house after a four year bid I did (not proud of) in a federal correctional institution and while in there a lot of things have changed. I was with my fiance Oscar for 7 years total and we are still currently together....now my issue is that while my incarceration my sister met, fell in love with, and is now engaged and buying a home with her fiance (an over-all great man). My mother is also buying the home along with them...it's always been just the three of us plus Oscar) and I had no choice and no desire but to come home to anyone but my family of course... I'm home on a "home visit" and my bro-in-law has "forbidden" Oscar to come and visit, spend the night, ect. Keeping in mind I'm 29 and Oscar nor I have Ever done anything to disrespect him or my family. Is he wrong or am I for feeling he's being over controlling in "forbidding" my visiting with my fiance? Your opinions please?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I don't see any reason why he would be doing that. Maybe he believes that you shouldn't stay the night together until you are married. He won't let Oscar visit either? That makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 well, difficult as it may seem to take, I know it seems unreasonable - and it may well be - but if you are in someone else's home, on a 'home' visit, I'm afraid they have a right to decide who stays and who doesn't. He can't stop you seeing Oscar, but he may well have the right to deny you his staying over..... can Oscar at least visit? is there any compromise possible? have you discussed the whys and wherefores, and asked his reasons? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barby Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 I do see his point in not wanting him to spend the night because he feels that I should be spending this time with my family:rolleyes: (bro-in-law included). No he won't allow him to even visit because he believes that he isn't someone who can give me a good financial future...blah..blah...blah! However I've been with Oscar for 7 years and I'm not planning on changing that anytime soon. I've just recently met and gotten to know my bro-in-law and I've tried compromise but there is NONE with him. It saddens me because being on a "home visit" means I can not legally leave this residence and therefor there is no me visiting my honey else where. He refuses to give him a chance because my fiance's second langauge is english and he feels it's too much trouble. Anyway I really am trying to be respectful and understanding but try as I may, I just can't see his POV. He feels I should "let go of the past"...which I have done 99% except Oscar because he has been there through the good and the bad and the incarceration, ect. So....basically this is just hard to deal with. There is nothing I can do to change his mind or the situation but I just wanted to rant and get some other PoV's. Thanks for listening! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, he has every right to decide who comes into his home, but he has no right to dictate who you can and can't see. And as he's been with your family less time than Oscar has been with you, it's a bit of a cheek, really. So, your sister can't be approached, or is she under his thumb? What about your mum? Can you not plead with them for support? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts