Summerday Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 What do most people think about women choosing not to have children? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 i am pro woman's choice on this issue. i have many girl friends that just never wanted kids, each has there own reasons- health issues that would have prevented it, being focused on their careers, broken families, wanting a lifestyle that was not child friendly, and just plain old not wanting children. i think it's perfectly fine and none of the women i know that have chosen this seem to hate kids, nor are they crazy or strange... they are women that know what they do na do not want. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I have quite a few friends who decided years ago to not have children. Some have , over the years, expressed some regret. Most if i'm honest. Still ...who doesnt have some regret? And they have come to terms with that and moved on. We all have made life decisions we live with and on occasion wonder what if. My own thoughts regarding someone who chooses not to have children? I only have one child . I had her at 30. I came close to not have any at all and I thank G I have her every day. I had NO idea how wonderful having a child was. None. I regret not having more. That being said, I also know other people who have children and dont seem to want them. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 What do most people think about women choosing not to have children? There are many views on that. Some people think the choice is smart, others think it is stupid. You can also hear selfish, short-sighted, immature, mature, conscious, unconscious, etc. IME, it is critical for the woman who is making that choice to be absolutely, crystal clear as to her own reasons, and then to ALSO make the decision to just not allow others to question her choice or to "make her" feel stupid, selfish, unconscious, immature, guilty, bad, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think people who don't want children should definitely NOT have them. It's not fair to the child or the parents, and there's no reason to bring another person into the world if you're not committed and looking forward to raising them. I've never understood how it's "selfish" to not want any children. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think having children is a very personal choice. So therefore, I would not look down upon a woman if she had no desire to be a mother. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think that there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarita12385 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Some women's clock never really stops "ticking" so to speak. If a woman knows she does not want to have children, as the previous poster stated - it's more fair that way for both mother and offspring. I'm 24 and just had my first child. Before I met my husband, I wasn't planning on having children. I didn't want any at first. Sometimes it may just take that special person to change a woman's mind. You never know. What's meant to be will be IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuala83 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 What do most people think about women choosing not to have children? Wonderful idea! Have you ever read 'Childfree and loving it' by Nicki Defago? I have and it was a very refreshing read. Not having hchildren is no more selfish than having them because ultimately we all follow our own desires. Those who have them don't do so for the sake of humanity they do so simply because they want them. Those that don't want them don't have them. Where's the problem? Last time I looked the planet was not short of people anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuala83 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I have quite a few friends who decided years ago to not have children. Some have , over the years, expressed some regret. Most if i'm honest. Still ...who doesnt have some regret? And they have come to terms with that and moved on. We all have made life decisions we live with and on occasion wonder what if. This is very interesting. I'm sure there are childfree women out there who live with regret but on the other side of the scale nobody ever talks about the women out there who do regret having had children. They do exist but few people would ever dare utter the words "I wish I hadn't had kids" Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I am pro women's choice, but I still struggle to prevent myself thinking of childless women as crazy old cat ladies or sad old spinsters. Link to post Share on other sites
Sazerac Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 What do most people think about women choosing not to have children? That is a decision best left up to the woman and her SO, if any. No one else has the right to dictate to someone what to do with her life, regardless of their opinion of the matter or what relationship they may have with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sazerac Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I am pro women's choice, but I still struggle to prevent myself thinking of childless women as crazy old cat ladies or sad old spinsters. A childless woman can't be married? My wife is. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I have found that some women that I have met that do not have children seem to lack emotional depth.. but I have come across this quality in women with children also. I think some people are pretty flat whatever they do or in fact do not do. Its just how it is. Dont know. Dont have kids if you dont want them.. whatever age you are. At the same time realise that things can change and its ok to be a Mom. Nothing else can be said really, can it? Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 This is very interesting. I'm sure there are childfree women out there who live with regret but on the other side of the scale nobody ever talks about the women out there who do regret having had children. They do exist but few people would ever dare utter the words "I wish I hadn't had kids" Usually the children are all too aware. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 A childless woman can't be married? My wife is. Yeah me too! I don't have kids and never have. I'm married 12 years and we are very happy without children. I saw how much work we were on my Mom and I decided long ago that lifestyle was not for me. I have had women with kids tell me how lucky we are that we don't have any. I use to lie and tell women I was sorry that I didn't have any because I didn't want them to feel bad that they had all this work and I seemed to be carefree. I have since grown and could care less what people think. I think more and more women are deciding they don't want children and aren't afraid to express it. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Usually the children are all too aware. Take care, Eve xx Yes, that is true. It is a very sad situation. I think that if a woman doesn't want children, she should not have them. Link to post Share on other sites
Flyleaf7889 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Until the world starts to run out of people, I think it's okay to not have children. After all, that's one less person to tend to, right? It's not selfish at all. It's knowing the kind of lifestyle you want and how you're going to achieve that. =) Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 A childless woman can't be married? My wife is. Yes of course childless women can be married. But when I find out that a woman doesn't have kids, it's hard to avoid associating her with the "crazy cat lady" stereotype in my mind. I think many people feel a kind of pity for childless women, even though the women themselves may be more than happy with their childless status, and may even prefer it. Link to post Share on other sites
itisjccole Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Having a child depends with your choice. It does not really pay less being a woman not having children. It is a matter of how ready you are to stand being a mom. Better not having children than having them just to be an irresponsible mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuala83 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Yes of course childless women can be married. But when I find out that a woman doesn't have kids, it's hard to avoid associating her with the "crazy cat lady" stereotype in my mind. I think many people feel a kind of pity for childless women, even though the women themselves may be more than happy with their childless status, and may even prefer it. Sadly this is the kind of attitude childfree people come across again and again. It's also important to point out that there's a BIG difference between being childless and childfree. Someone who is childless isn't able to have children, someone who is childfree chooses not to. People have a hard time believing women who say they don't want children and are happy without them (as if they're just waiting for them to change their mind). It's not that unusual though. Childfree women have been around a long time but it's only since effective birth contol, equal rights and a change in public perceptions came along that people started to accept that women are not merely defined by their ability to make babies. How do you percieve childfree men Thornton??? Link to post Share on other sites
arlene Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I do not understand them and think they are lucky if they were able to have children. I might not get the chance and it saddens me and I feel those women who do ar had the chance and threw it away are spoilt. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I do not understand them and think they are lucky if they were able to have children. I might not get the chance and it saddens me and I feel those women who do ar had the chance and threw it away are spoilt. How are you spoiled because you chose not to have children? Link to post Share on other sites
arlene Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 You are spoilt bacause you obviously have too many options. Also who do you think is going to look after you in your old age? yes other people's children that they have worked hard to bring up while you accumulate material wealth, have lie ins, go on foreign holidays and generally look after number one. Also you are denying your parents the joy of grandchildren. If I ever am blessed with a daughter(or son) and she said to me she was not having children by choice I would be really upset not just for me but for her becuase she is a cold fish. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 How are you spoiled because you chose not to have children? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. And what about people who are capable of having their own children but choose to adopt instead? Are they also spoiled? Link to post Share on other sites
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