HsMomma Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I don't even really know where to start. I got a phone call this morning from my mom telling me that my older brother (almost 49 years old), who was supposed to be driving down from Colorado to visit the family for the weekend, had called & spoken with my stepdad, telling him (my stepdad) that he (my brother) was very suicidal & thought he should go to a local hospital. Just a little background: my brother (B, I'll call him) is a recovering addict/alcoholic who has been clean & sober for 15 years. However, "back in the day," he was into just about every drug imaginable. As a result of his drug use, he has developed some fairly significant psychological problems (including having been diagnosed as bi-polar). Our family had to "divorce" him once before - about 17 years ago - because we couldn't get him to see his issues or do anything about the drinking/drugs. He finally hit rock-bottom & went to rehab, but he's never been on the same wavelength as most people I know. His thought processes are incredibly skewed & I find it hard to believe we are actually full-blood related. He hasn't called me & I don't know if he did actually go to the hospital or not. I have these horrible visions in my head of him driving right off the side of one of those mountains he loves so much. Having a family medical background, I know that most people who are serious about suicide don't tell their families they're "going to do it" they just do it. But again, my brother is most assuredly NOT most people. I don't know how to handle this, don't know what to say to my mother & most of all, feel really helpless. For those of you who know what the past couple of months have been like for my h & me, you gotta know that I am DAM* tired of feeling helpless. I DON'T do helpless well. Anybody have any suggestions here? I'd appreciate any input, never having dealt with anything quite like this before. Link to post Share on other sites
eyeswide Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 SCary! I'm so sorry! Has anyone been able to reach him again? Does he have a cell phone? Can anyone figure out where he was when he made the call and figure out what hospital he might have checked into? Please let us know if you have any word of his whereabouts. Sending you good thoughts... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HsMomma Posted July 24, 2009 Author Share Posted July 24, 2009 SCary! I'm so sorry! Has anyone been able to reach him again? Does he have a cell phone? Can anyone figure out where he was when he made the call and figure out what hospital he might have checked into? Please let us know if you have any word of his whereabouts. Sending you good thoughts... Thank you - yes, it IS scary. He called my mother last night & was crying & telling her he felt worthless, but that he had gone to the hospital & spoken with a social worker there who gave him the numbers of a couple of places where he could get help - I'm assuming counseling and meds. Apparently, the social worker didn't feel he was in imminent (sp?) danger of suicide since they didn't admit him. I've tried to call his cell # but it goes to voice mail immediately. He's about 9 hrs away from us (my folks live in the same city I do) & I really don't know what to do to help (or even if there's anything I can do). All we've been doing is praying for him & while I believe in the power of faith, I just wish he was here so we could help him get help. Thanks for your good thoughts - if you like, I'll keep you updated as we learn more. Link to post Share on other sites
whimsical_memory Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Have you been able to reach your brother yet? I am keeping you and your family in my prayers, please keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I think the right thing to do in this case, is to hop on a plane and go visit him and take care of him. Now is when he needs the family the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HsMomma Posted July 26, 2009 Author Share Posted July 26, 2009 Thank you all for the kind words & thoughts/prayers - they are greatly appreciated. I spoke to my brother yesterday evening for an hour on the phone - the conversation went everywhere from my being sweet/supportive to loving to tough love. LONG story short, he is coming down here next weekend & I have offered to help facilitate his getting admitted to a mental health facility where they can truly help with 24/7 care for as long as it takes to get his head back on right. He's a real mess right now, but at least he knows he can count on his baby sister to help shore him up. I told him about my coming online here to LS to ask for help with the things that have been going on in my & my family's life the last couple of months &, while he's telling me that he hates himself and hates asking for help, I explained to him that if I've learned anything these last couple of months, it's that we ALL need help from time to time. I told him what I'd discovered here & IRL - that there are people who will love you enough and hold you up until you can love yourself and hold yourself up again. He told me he'd really think about all we talked about & I told him that he didn't have to do this alone - I'd walk the road with him - that I'd be whatever he needed, whether it was a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to yell at, or just someone to help hold him up til he's back on track again. So...that's where we are currently. I would ask that you all, if you think about it, please keep him in your thoughts/prayers - he needs that right now. Thank you again for caring/listening! Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I don't even really know where to start. I got a phone call this morning from my mom telling me that my older brother (almost 49 years old), who was supposed to be driving down from Colorado to visit the family for the weekend, had called & spoken with my stepdad, telling him (my stepdad) that he (my brother) was very suicidal & thought he should go to a local hospital. Just a little background: my brother (B, I'll call him) is a recovering addict/alcoholic who has been clean & sober for 15 years. However, "back in the day," he was into just about every drug imaginable. As a result of his drug use, he has developed some fairly significant psychological problems (including having been diagnosed as bi-polar). Our family had to "divorce" him once before - about 17 years ago - because we couldn't get him to see his issues or do anything about the drinking/drugs. He finally hit rock-bottom & went to rehab, but he's never been on the same wavelength as most people I know. His thought processes are incredibly skewed & I find it hard to believe we are actually full-blood related. He hasn't called me & I don't know if he did actually go to the hospital or not. I have these horrible visions in my head of him driving right off the side of one of those mountains he loves so much. Having a family medical background, I know that most people who are serious about suicide don't tell their families they're "going to do it" they just do it. But again, my brother is most assuredly NOT most people. I don't know how to handle this, don't know what to say to my mother & most of all, feel really helpless. For those of you who know what the past couple of months have been like for my h & me, you gotta know that I am DAM* tired of feeling helpless. I DON'T do helpless well. Anybody have any suggestions here? I'd appreciate any input, never having dealt with anything quite like this before. You got a call from your mother. Did you get a call from your brother? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HsMomma Posted July 26, 2009 Author Share Posted July 26, 2009 You got a call from your mother. Did you get a call from your brother? Not initially, no...but, see my most recent post - I spoke to him last night. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Not initially, no...but, see my most recent post - I spoke to him last night. Sorry to hear that your eldest brother has been to rehab and back and has had to experience the things you have listed. The best you can do is contact him, tell him you love him and that you'll do whatever it takes to help him get healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HsMomma Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 Sorry to hear that your eldest brother has been to rehab and back and has had to experience the things you have listed. The best you can do is contact him' date=' tell him you love him and that you'll do whatever it takes to help him get healthy.[/quote'] That's what I've done, You'reasian. I posted yesterday morning about having spoken with him & that's exactly what I told him. I haven't talked to him again yet, but will call him tonight & see what's going on. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 HsMomma I am glad to see you got in contact with your brother and he knows he has your support. I know how hard it is to deal with someone who has been a long term drug abuser. My dad was an addict and in and out of rehab for his whole adult life. His thought process was nothing even remotely close to normal. I hope your brother gets past this crisis. I know from reading some of your other posts that you've got a lot going on in your life. Just try to stay strong and make sure you make time to take care of yourself. Your brother is lucky to have you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HsMomma Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 HsMomma I am glad to see you got in contact with your brother and he knows he has your support. I know how hard it is to deal with someone who has been a long term drug abuser. My dad was an addict and in and out of rehab for his whole adult life. His thought process was nothing even remotely close to normal. I hope your brother gets past this crisis. I know from reading some of your other posts that you've got a lot going on in your life. Just try to stay strong and make sure you make time to take care of yourself. Your brother is lucky to have you. That was so sweet - thank you! Yeah, there has been a lot going on in our lives recently, but he's my brother. In my mind, that kinda trumps a lot of stuff, ya know? I mean, I have to be there for him. That's what sisters are for. I know he CAN get through this dark time, I just need him to take the offered hand. If I can convince him to take that first step, I have no doubt we can get through this together. I know what you mean about their thought processes being nowhere near normal...it's strange for me to look at him sometimes & realize that we're full-blood related. We couldn't BE more different if we tried! I promise, though, that I will take time for me as well. I'll have to - not to mention taking time for my h & daughter. We'll just have to figure it out as we go. Thank you again for your support & kind words - they mean a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
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