lying

[yes]

did i misspell it? i meant 'not telling the truth'

 

anyway - there are circumstances, under which it is convenient to omit certain information, because that'll avoid unpleasant comments or arguments. i feel bad for doing it, sometimes. should i be?

 

couple of days ago, i omitted some info from my parents b/c from it, it would be obvious that i'm basically back with my ex, which I don't really want them to know yet. Why? because they dont like the idea of us getting back together; and so far, i'm not 100% sure of it, so im waiting till im sure to inform them. They didn't ask directly abotu the info i omitted, but under usual circumstances, i wd've told them about it.

 

other e.g.'s are - i used to go out for lunch with this other guy. Similar story - i know my parents would argue with me that i should not be going anywhere with him, yada yada... so I just don't mention it. Their reasons of why i shdn't go are more or less right, but since it's not dangerous or anything, and i feel like going, i just go.

 

So... is this nasty of me?

On one hand, I feel like my decisions are my decisions and I should be able to speak of them openly and stand up for them. On the other hand, I feel like causing unnecessary arguments is useless, b/c it's not like i'm marrying these guys - it's just harmless lunches or what not, i'm not doing anything drastic.

 

On a separate note, I find it difficult to keep my private life private, while living w/ my parents. Because if i stay out late with someone, or god forbid stay at his place overnight, they know about it right away. And that's sort of annoying... cuz they ask & talk to me about it, and I don't feel like telling them whether or not i slept or made out with such and such.

 

I used to be really close with my mom, and i'd tell her all about what went on between me and my bf's. But now that things go further than what I wanna discuss with her, I find myself in a tight spot...

 

Any comments would be appreciated.

-yes

[Tony T]

I you are 18 years of age or older, whether you live with your parents or not, what you do in your personal life...as long as it is legal...is very much your own business. Your parents are not entitled to any information you do not wish to disclose to them.

 

If they make the disclosure of every bit of information about your life a condition for your living in their home, then you must either do so or move out.

 

Having boundaries, retaining privacy, and keeping certain information about your activities confidential is an essential part of being an adult. It's one of the great benefits of achieving the age of majority and adulthood.

 

Perhaps you ought to inform your parents that you have attained adulthood and your obligations to them in certain areas are no longer valid...if you think you can tell them in a nice way. Meanwhile, keep to yourself that which you do not want to talk about it...and make your disclosures in your own good time.

 

You might want to tell them enough about yourself that you are comfortable with that their thirst for information about you is duly satisfied without getting into the nitty gritty stuff.