Mother versus Boyfriend. I'm stuck in the middle.

[Haruka]

I am in a delimma, my mother is upset with me over my boyfriend once again.

 

It started in January on my birthday of all days. Trying to cut it short, my mother blew a fuse when I said I enrolled myself into a college course, while at the mean time I was going to suspend my university course (which I thought would be good, give myself a break and then focus on this college course which could help me in advantage in my units, finally I combined the two). While still seething my boyfriend was over for the dinner, and he started to play on my computer which he had been doing all summer sometimes staying up as late as 3 in the morning playing Poker and Blackjack on Facebook.

 

My mother was still ranting over my choice of education saying that college will not get me anywhere. Then my boyfriend's mother called and so my mother started to tell her what I was impending on doing.

 

So she turned her attention to my boyfriend who inturn didn't understand what he did wrong cause he had headphones on while playing the game and then a huge fight with each saying what a cow/scum each were. It enrupted with me trying to pull my boyfriend out of the house and my father telling my boyfriend to leave. My boyfriend arguing loudly asking what he did wrong etc.

 

Now weeks on, the relationship between my parents and myself is straining, my father seems to be in the middle of it, but he is keeping quiet. My mother on the other hand is being vocal. I was away for two weeks in the city and everyday my mother asked if I found anyone new while I was away if it wasn't that it was her running my boyfriend down. (She has been constantly saying I need a new boyfriend).

 

I told her he was picking me up from the trainstation which in turn I thought we were going home, only for him saying he wanted to see his old friend and that we were going to spend the weekend in the city at his parents place. I didn't want to use his parents phone as we were not supposed to be there and I ran out of credit. I ended up spending a week with him at his place and my mother was more or less frantic. I know I should have called but with my choosing him to pick me up I didn't think I would cause more strain in the relationship of my mom and I.

 

During the time I was away I was thinking I should have been picked up by my folks and nothing would have happen. Instead my mother is treating me like I am a stranger and we barely talk to each other. To make matters worse she has involved my 16 year old cousin who is going on and on that I am going to end up being desititue and being nothing if I stay with my boyfriend. (A long time ago my cousin and boyfriend were the best of friends, until her boyfriend started to abuse her and my boyfriend got physical on him).

 

My mother is thinking that he is just using me and that he only wants me for sex or money. That he doesn't love me at all.

 

Now she is sayinig that I can move to his place but if I do then our family bond is over. That she never want anything to do with me and if my boyfriend and I married she wouldn't attend the wedding.

 

I am 25 and I hate being stuck in the situation. I want to be an adult, yet I am stuck in tbe middle of an over protective mother and a boyfriend I have been with for four years.

 

If I stay with my boyfriend I will loose my mother, if I follow my mother's orders then I will loose my boyfriend.

 

I don't want to pick sides and it is making me miserable.

 

What do I do?