CharlotteGal Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Hey everyone! I'm new here and I need some advice. I have no one to turn to and talk about this to, so I'm hoping to get some help here! Ok, here is the background. I'm 22 years old and about to graduate college in May. My mother and I are very close, I am an only child and she has always been my best friend. We talk about everything and when something happens in my life, good or bad, I tell her. I go to school 800 miles away from home and I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 2 1/2 years. We have a great relationship for the most part, its hard because he goes to a different school now. The only problem that we have is both of us are stubborn and we fight, alot! Most of the time our fights are over ridiculous things or misunderstandings. Anyways, everytime we would get into an argument I would call my mom up and tell her, cry to her or complain to her about it. Well to make a long story short now she threatens me that if I dont break up with him that she will cut me off and out of her life. She says that he is no good for me, he is a loser, and that I have to choose between him or my family. She also threatens that she is going to call him up and tell him to stay away from me and call his mother. Now, like I said I am 22 and he is 22. I feel we are adults and can make our own decisions. I dont know how to deal with this situation, I cant talk to her about him but when I dont mention him than she accuses me of lying to her about what Im doing or going behind her back. She puts me down saying that Im a liar and no good and I will never get anywhere in life with him. Please help me, I need some advice! I love my boyfriend more than anything and we are trying to make our relationship work, but with all this happening with my mom its putting even more strain on our relationship than the distance is. Please Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Squirtal Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Hi charlotte, Can I ask you.. do you share the good things with your mum as well as the bad things about your bf. She could just be over protective if all she hears are negatives. Thats not an excuse for her saying you're no good though. I have found myself disliking the partner of a friend or relative because all they tell me is the bad stuff and the good stuff goes unmentioned, so sometimes we sabotage other peoples thoughts against someone we care for. Do i make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 ......everytime we would get into an argument I would call my mom up and tell her, cry to her or complain to her about it. ........Now, like I said I am 22 and he is 22. I feel we are adults and can make our own decisions. Please Help!! There's your problem, right there. if you were such an adult, you would never have involved your mother to begin with. To now complain that she's interfering in your life, when you're 22 and adult, and that you can make your own decisions, is contradictory at best, and just plain hypocritical and two-faced at worst. If the only time you ever rang your mum to discuss the relationship with her, was when it was all going tits-up, then you can't blame her for thinking it's all always negative. She's trying to look out for you and protect you, because she's probably never got a call from you telling her how wonderful everything was and how well you were getting on. It's been mostly gripes. Really sorry to be so harsh, honey, but - This is a problem of your making. You're an adult now. make your own decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 squirtal are we on the same page or what - ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Squirtal Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I was just thinking that... people think I'm mad as I muttering at my desk saying "yay go Geishawhelk" High Five. Link to post Share on other sites
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