djdiablo Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 So my gf is Cantonese but she is born and raised in Canada. This weekend I am going to a traditional New Year's dinner with her family @ the house of some family friends. Do you have any tips for me? How can I impress the older generation there? (This includes her own family.) Apparently everybody is quite judgmental and first impressions are key. My own heritage is proudly Romanian so it is a bit different although I have noticed similarities in gift-giving, conservative attitude, etc. I am keen on acting proper but not on becoming Asian, if you know what I mean. Usually I don't really care what people think and I am proud to have good manners but I don't know if there are differences. I have traveled to Asia (spent 2 months CHN, KOR, JP) but never to HK. The type of tips I am looking for is: - What to bring? - How to act around the older people? - Greetings - Customs - Dress code I am in the process of reading "Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands" right now. P.S. Chances are high that I shall be the only Caucasian there. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Ask your g/f about what to bring, how to greet, etc. ACCEPT HER ANSWERS...don't end up arguing with her, "But I gotta bring something" or crap like that. (She won't deliberately steer you in the wrong direction.) BE YOURSELF. Don't try to "impress" anyone with any false crap -- they'll see through it, nine out of ten times. Don't fake anything. BE GENUINE. Stand back and observe how others are doing things. Don't get too deep into discussions about politics, religion, etc. -- no "hot button" issues, that is. Be as polite as you have been taught to be. Don't tease the pets or younger children. Use your inside voice. No spitting, biting or kicking. Most importantly, take your focus off the cultural/traditional differences! You're just meeting a bunch of human beings who have the exact same capacity to be compassionate, loving, generous of spirit, happy, etc., as your family does. BE YOURSELF, and go with a totally open mind and the intention of just enjoying yourself and helping her family celebrate. Link to post Share on other sites
GoneButNotForgotten Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Ronni is right on the money with his answer. Your g/f has the knowledge you need. Every family is different with how far they take traditions and in way they do them. When your their keep the traditions in mind, but do not take them overboard. Chances are the majority of them understand that you are not intimately familiar with their traditions and most of the time will appreciate you taking the time to learn the basics. If you take it overboard as if the traditions were your own you can set yourself up to look fake and going through the motions. These are just people. If you make a mistake with the tradition thank them for correcting you and learn from it. Don't be so hard on yourself to the point that you have to act like you have done it for years. Just accept that you won't understand everything and if you do not ask someone to explain it to you. Taking an interest in their culture and asking questions can be a great way to bond with the family. You would be amazed at how quickly some of the older generations instantly warm up when you take a real interest in things they do. They love explaining to people who genuinely want to learn and understand. Link to post Share on other sites
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