Husband's relatives

[araksya]

I've been married to my husband for 3 years. He has a huge family but did not stay in touch with it until recently. During last week or so he's been reaching out to many family members, spending hours on the phone with them. Worst is, his niece is my age (my husband and I have a big age gap).

 

So basically him contacting his niece and telling her how "fabulous" she looks as what not, makes me quite frankly uncomfortable and jealous.

 

Also, since this behavior of his is recent, I'm very uncomfortable about it and have a hard time supporting him through this while feeling all messed up.

 

I talked to him and revealed all my vulnerabilities and pains, but it hasn't changed much.

 

What should I do? Any advice? Help?

 

He used to spend so much time with me and be my best friend.. I feel like that's not the case anymore.. I feel like i'm placed on a back burner..

 

HELP!!!

[moonshadow]

I've been married to my husband for 3 years. He has a huge family but did not stay in touch with it until recently. During last week or so he's been reaching out to many family members, spending hours on the phone with them. Worst is, his niece is my age (my husband and I have a big age gap).

 

So basically him contacting his niece and telling her how "fabulous" she looks as what not, makes me quite frankly uncomfortable and jealous.

 

Also, since this behavior of his is recent, I'm very uncomfortable about it and have a hard time supporting him through this while feeling all messed up.

 

I talked to him and revealed all my vulnerabilities and pains, but it hasn't changed much.

 

What should I do? Any advice? Help?

 

He used to spend so much time with me and be my best friend.. I feel like that's not the case anymore.. I feel like i'm placed on a back burner..

 

HELP!!!

 

Good lord, why would you be jealous of your husband complimenting his NIECE?!! She's obviously one of his sibling's children and for obvious reasons wouldn't be "interested" in her.......so why are you being so jealous and silly about this?

 

Family is important; why are you taking issue with his recent desire to reconnect with them? Is it not a good thing? Life is short, maybe he now realizes this and wants to reconnect with them. His life canNOT simply revolve totally around you, as much as you'd like it to. Sheesh. Perhaps you need to find some friends or get some hobbies.

[2sure]

Its holiday time, a time during which many people reach out to those not seen in some time. If he doesnt see them often, maybe he is just trying to reconnect. It may put you on the back burner for a moment here and there, but thats all.

 

Is he feeling lonely? That usually triggers the long distance calls to family.

[RecordProducer]

Other than the niece being his close relative, I think he is just trying to be nice to her. Complimenting her doesn't mean he finds her more beautiful than you. And even if that's the case, he doesn't see her as a woman.

 

The family wasn't there for a long time, so they won't become close. Not that it's good, but it's true. New friends and relatives don't last too long. It's different from befriending someone gradually and keeping a steady friendship. All the "instant thrill" close friendships blow up like balloons spontaneously. You need not do anything.

 

On the other hand, why does it bother you? I was thrilled to meet my hsuband's family, but they turned out to be creeps who hated me since day one for no reason. And I was very hurt and disappointed because of that. They might become your friends more than his. And I still don't get it how you could be jealous of his sibling's daughter.

 

He used to spend so much time with me and be my best friend.. I feel like that's not the case anymore.. I feel like i'm placed on a back burner..

My first husband was 12 years older than me and my second is 18 years older. I think our profile likes to feel protected and for that we need to be the center of attention. I wasn't looking for a father figure, I have a wonderful father who was never authoritative or strict; he's my best pal. I think we marry older people because we think they will appreciate us more and make us feel special. And when we see that they don't, we suffer.

 

You have to find your own friends and activities, to get off your husband's back a little bit. Being clingy and jealous is the best way to put yourself in an inferior position, to become eternally angry, needing attention, and suffocate your marriage.