2Close4Comfort Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 (edited) Hello, I am a happily married woman, who recently moved next door to my mother in law, she's a wonderful woman, however she is also a very lonely woman, recently she has lost her disability, and is only living off of her SS, which is barely enough to make her mortgage payment. She is also waiting results on a settlement on a worker's comp. injury she sustatined over 11 years ago, she has approx. two months that she can continue in her current home, then she will lose her home, she asked if we would be wiling to move in with her, and help her out....she lives alone, with two dogs. We live in a nice home next door, (we're renting) but are very happy where we are, we also have two dogs and a cat, my son is serving the the Army, and is due to be deployed next month, this alone is stressful and overwhelming enough as it is...let alone all these other issues that we are faced with, mom's daughter and husband borrowed money from her a few years back, and have never paid her back, they too are struggling financially, and are at risk of losing their home, my suggestion to Mom was that they all move in together to help offset the cost of living, she replied that it just wouldnt' work, she seems to have an answer for just about anything....I feel bad for her, and I especially feel guilty because I kknow if we were in the same situation, she'd take us in in a heartbeat. My other problem is that my sons wife is going to come live with us while he's in Iraq, it's going to be awful crowded in that home, let alone Mom is a lonely person, and is constantly complaining about life in general..it's enough to drive me over the edge, I recently also had to quit my part time job at the school district that I really liked due to my panic attacks that have progressively gotten worse due to the excessive amount of stress that I've been under, both my husband and I feel the same, we just don't want to move in with her, we've toyed around with the idea of getting a 5th wheel on her property, for her to live in, as she says that her house is just too much for her to keep up with....Mom is 67 now..and is a Cancer survivor, she's a wonderful person, and I just don't know what to do, or where to turn, time is running out for us...anyone ever experienced anything like this? Edited February 10, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 You can truly be there for her and help her but please don't move in with her, that would be a big mistake. And one you'll long regret. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 I think you should find a way to help your mother in law that also preserves your own sanity, health, and mariage. She does deserve your help - as you say, she would do the same in a heartbeat if YOU needed it - but her idea isn't going to cut it. Why not suggest she find a tenant to move in with her? This could be someone who just uses a bedroom, or the person could also have use of all other rooms in the house. This would provide financial assistance and also some level of companionship. My knowledge of this idea isn't just theoretical - my mother took in roomers in 2 of the bedrooms in her 3 bedroom house, for many years. She usually had medical students from the hospital where she worked. She only had 2 bad apples out of over 50 roomers. The extra money made her very comfortable so she could maintain her lifestyle of nonstop shopping and making expensive long-distance phone calls. A few of the roomers have become dear friends. All in all, it was stunningly suuccessful. Your M-in-L may object to this idea. That's her choice, and it can also be your choice not to have her move in. Link to post Share on other sites
justpassingthrough Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Maybe your son's wife would be willing to stay next door instead? Just a thought. /I'm an Army mom, too. <Hug> Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina Nisse Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 mom's daughter and husband borrowed money from her a few years back, and have never paid her back, they too are struggling financially, and are at risk of losing their home, my suggestion to Mom was that they all move in together to help offset the cost of living, she replied that it just wouldnt' work, Tell her "it just wouldn't work" for you to move in with her. Seriously...if she's in danger of losing her home, it makes much more sense for her daughter to pay back the $$$ she owes her, than for you to move in with her. Don't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts