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My father....


Cerise

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I never knew my father growing up, I tracked him down when I was 26 and he flew me out to where he lives for four days to meet him and everything was great.

 

After meeting him I felt some anger which I consider 'normal' I never shared it with him or let it interfear with the 'new' realtionship, we would speak on the phone once a month give or take for the next two years.

 

I have three children, 13yr, 10yr and 8 yr old. Last year I had planed a trip out to see him with my family and things happend making so that I couldn't afford to go and the trip was cancelled.

 

This june I got a call from him saying that his wife and him were going to make a trip out here to see us! We were all happy, the kids couldn't wait to meet there grandfather and my H was looking forward to meeting him, it was great news.

 

He wasn't sure when he was coming as he had work to finish but said probaly in august. Then I got a call from him saying he was planing on coming this past weekend, I had less than a week and a half notice he was coming and he said it wasn't for sure yet as he had to to still get a couple of jobs done.

 

A few days later he called and siad yes he was coming and wanted to go to this big mall ect 3 hours from where we live. He wanted to take the kids there as he wanted it to be a memorable trip ect that we would stay in a hotel for a couple of nights ect I told him I couldn't afford it he said not to worry about it he understood my finacial situation and that it was all taken care of so I agreed.

 

First off there was no real set plan ecept that he wanted to take the kids there, first it was going to be that we meet him there and then it was that he would come here and stay for a day then we would go there together and we would go to this mall (it is full of rides and a water park) stay over then go to the zoo and come home.

 

So anyways he got here on the friday night, of course my kids were all excited. We stayed here at home for saturday, because of the excitment and what not I had a hard time slowing them down and getting them into bed, at about 11pm they all finally fell asleep and I had to get them up at 5:30am as my dad wanted to leave real early so we would have most of the day there.

 

The trip there was great we stoped for breaskfast on the way, about 8am then we got to the mall and he had a couple of things he needed to do then we went over to the amusment park, and he decided it would be best to buy us day passes instead of just tickets, it cost almost $200 we spent most of the day doing rides ect everything went well. at about 3:30 we decided it was time to go to the water park when we got there we looked at the prices and it would cost almost $200 to get us in there so we decided not to go, my youngets was dissapointed but that is understandable, there were NO temper tantrums or anything, then my dad sugested we get somthing to eat.

 

Then there was the descion of where to eat my dad suguested pizza and I said sure my middle child complained a bit that she didn't want pizza but we went in and she quit. My oldest suffers from low blood sugar so as we were sitting at the table, now it was almost 5 pm and the kids had nithing to eat since 8am he was upset, he didn't say anything at all but sat there oviously upset, he was hungry and he gets emotional when hungry, so I just left him alone and all was fine food came and he felt better.

 

We ordered two large pizzas for 7 of us, they made a mistake and we ened up getting three ( the third for free ) so there was a little bit of left overs to take with us but not much as two would not have fed us all. Then we went and checked in to the hotel. Fortuanatly I took the left over pizza to my room so the kids had somthing to snack on has I only had about $30 to my name.

 

That night was horrible as I couldn't get them to slow down and go to sleep and my two youngest were in the same bed to gethere my H and I ended up arguing and we all finally got so sleep around 11pm that night. We got up the next morning at 7:30 am and checked out and went for breakfast. Well that is when it all started....

 

My dad wanted to go to A&W for breakfast as you can get eggs, bacon and hashbrowns for like $2.99 I of course can't say anything as he was paying for it all to begin with and I felt bad. My oldest dosn't like eggs, never has, my kids are far from fussy they'll eat and vegtable or fruit put in front of them.

 

Anyways we walk in there about 9am, no one has had anything to eat yet and my oldest is standing there upset but not saying anything, I trided to help him pick out somthing to eat but of course it all has eggs. I could see he was quit upset so I asked him to go out to the van and take a few momnets to him self. He calmly left, my H asked me what was wrong and as I was telling him my dads wife snaped at me saying well take the eggs out, she was obviously aanoyed, I ingnored it and said don't worry it is ok, but she p***ed me off for one she butted into a converstaion between me and my H about our child.

 

I ordered myoldest breakfast then went and out and talked to him he was still very upset. He was hungry!!! Anyways as we were eating he came in and joined us, still upset but just sitting there quietly and eating the hashbrowns. We finished and my dads wife sugested wh9ile they were still eating we go and have our smoke break, we were out of smokes and were going to find a gas staion to buy some we had barly got into the van when my son came storming out and got in the van, I found out a little later the after eating everything but the egg he was sitting there stabing it with his fork and I guess she banged her hand down on the table and yelled at him to eat it or leave it, and my dad said as he left to here 'couldn't you have just ignored it?' and she yelled ' I will NOT tollerate that crap'

 

Well we all left and went to the zoo as planed my youngest was kind of whinny, she wanted a pony ride and we had said no I managed to get her past that but she was still being difficult by this time it is after noon, so I aske my H if we had enough to buy ice cream he said yes, so I told her just a little bit longer and to put a smile on her face and we will go for ice cream she was better after that and after a bit we went and got ice cream.

 

At 2pm we left and I said are we headed home and they said yes. So I set up the dvd player for the kids and we had barley made it out of the zoo parking lot and my two yongest started fighting I told them to cut it out a couple of times and finally I asked my H to pull over, I went back there and took the dvd player away from them and got back in and told them 15min of quiet and I would give it back, well my youngest started to throw a tantrum and back talk me, so as I was getting back out ( I was planing on calmly removing her from the van and sitting her on the curb till she was clam and ready to behave) but before I could do so my dads wife turned around and started yelling at her,my daughter said 'ouch' and 'don't you touch me' I couldn't quite see what was going on but then she lifted her hand and it looked like she was going to back hand my daughter.

 

Well at this point I saw red, I wanted to yell her name to stop her but it wouldn't come out so I smacked the back of her other hand and she turned around and I yelled at her to never touch one of my children and we yelled at each other for a minute, then all was quiet and my H started to drive again, a couple of minutes later I apoligized for hitting her and she said I told you I am fine.

 

Nothing eles was said and then about an hour out of the city we got a flat tire. Well we have no money and no spare anyways after four and half hours on the side of the road we finally go a tire. My kids were VERY good at this time playing in the grass and amusing them selevs with rocks ect. They were all saying they were hungry and my H split a chocolate bar between them and I told them I would make dinner when we got home. My dad said no we'll stop for dinner at the next town ( about an hour and a half away ) We all got back in the van and every one was good I gave them back the dvd player and all went well.

 

We got to the resteraunt at 9pm, now my kids are tired and hadn't eaten, besides an ice cream and a peice of chocolate since 9am! The kids were good in the resteraunt no one said to much to each other we ate and left and my dad complained to my H about the cost of dinner afterwards. We went home the rest of the way in silence.

 

Got home and everyone went to bed, I had planed on talking to them and apoligizing again for my behaviour ect after everyone had a goodnights sleep over coffee in the morning while the kids were still in bed but when we got up this morning at 7:30am they were gone!

 

No note, no nothing they were just gone! Needless to say the kids were upset that grandpa was gone, without even saying good bye! They all loved him! I also found out this morning that my dads wife did squeeze my youngests cheeks fairly hard when she was yelling at her in the van.

 

I am angry, and upset by this, not sure what to think. What a wonderful weekend, my dad did say he wanted it to be menorable, well it most deffinatly is that!

 

Any opinions or thoughts would be welcomed!

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Cerise, thanks for sharing your story with us. It must of hit you pretty hard to find out that your father left without leaving a trace. Have you contacted your father yet and ask him about what happened? If I were in your situation, without doubt I would be extremely upset but I would demand an explanation from him for why he did what he did. If anything, he is clearly being a poor guest. Well, I hope you get this straighten out. Take care.

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No I haven't contacted him, I am in the process of writing him a letter. I just don't see anything that wasn't understandable or forgivable and I really can't see anything that warrented him leaving like that. I really don't think my kids were all that badly behaved ecpesially considering the lack of food and sleep! And if they left due to my hitting her well I am sorry I hit her but I had to protect my child, right? I am not saying it was the right way of dealing with it but in my mind I would say it is justifiable.

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