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Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

 
 
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Old 18th November 2006, 5:40 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by quankanne View Post
fruck on, baby! Since deciding that I wasn't going to get sucked into family drama or BS, my life has been much less stressful. That's not to say that I don't love them, just am keeping a sane distance between me and them.

besides, if I don't put up with crap from people in general, why should family be excepted?
I suppose it's the asian part of me that feels this overwhelming duty to the family. Like how I accepted a part in the memorial mass even though I didn't even want to go. I did the 8 hour souther baptist wake and the funeral. I said goodbye. I hate having to do it over and over again in the public eye.

Anyways, on his deathbed my sister (the one who sent the email) promised my Dad that she would take care of me. The ironic part is, this is all a big secret and I'm not supposed to know.

I want to having a loving family I guess. I want to be able to move past how we used to be and be something new. I want that connection. But when I try to get it, it hurts. I can't seem to want to stop hurting myself.
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Old 18th November 2006, 5:42 PM   #32
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I have a degree in litterature and an ma in history. What you're doing here is known as infering and it is highly frowned upon in both fields.
Highly frowned upon? Interpreting my own sister's email, inferring from a place where I actually know a lot of her motives?

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Avoid taking it personally.
Words of wisdom, but when is this actually possible with someone you are in any kind of relationship with? EVERYTHING is personal with relationships. That's the way it is.
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Old 18th November 2006, 5:56 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by blind_otter View Post
Highly frowned upon? Interpreting my own sister's email, inferring from a place where I actually know a lot of her motives?



Words of wisdom, but when is this actually possible with someone you are in any kind of relationship with? EVERYTHING is personal with relationships. That's the way it is.
I'm sorry but most miscommunication, especially in families, happens because we think we know why others do and say the things they do and say. The fact is, we don't. And then we build walls of misunderstanding where one sentence in a mass e-mail sends us rilling.

I doubt she meant to hurt you just for the fun of it. I doubt that comment had anything to do with you.

Besides, Take the high road. If you sister is not going to snap out of it, you should. Don't read anything into it.
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Old 18th November 2006, 6:35 PM   #34
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Maybe my responses were a little harsh. You’re right, I don’t know you or your sisters. I am just seeing my sister and my mother rip each other to shreds because of an overaccumulations of mis- ‘interpretations’. A lot of she did this and this means that.

The thing is, they both mean well and are trying their best.

So I guess my comments were more oriented to them then to you.
What can I say, that’s family.

Although, if I were you, I would still try not to read too much into her comment.
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