http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ Discuss tips, concerns, and all the mayhem involved in raising kids. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:09:37 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210489&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:20:49 GMT Going to go meet ex half way in a little while to bring my son's home for the THanksgiving week! It's so exciting but I get so happy and yet so angry at the same time! Excited to see them, angry it has to be like this..and the fact that he can't make the trip alone, he has to bring his momma or the girlfriend both make me want to vomit! Such is the life of co-parenting/custody/ex stuff!

Can't let go of a lot of resentment towards them. But I won't show it, won't let my kids know. I'm going to smile, be joyous and focus on THEM! but I cant help to go back to "hating" my ex, his momma and the gf and dwelling on all the crap they say/do.

I hardly ever go online when my kids are here with us.

Anyway, have a great turkeyday all of you great parents!! ]]> Parenting wife http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210489 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210480&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:12:34 GMT I have a crazy neighbour who shouts and swears at people. He's been ok to me and my family mostly, but lately in the last last few weeks he's started 'targetting' my youngest son who is 9.

He shouted and swore at him a few weeks ago and called him a 'little pri**k', then a few days ago he jabbed him in the chest and called him a f'ing little liar. Basically my son doesnt want to play with his kid - hardly surprising, he's just like Pa.....The son who is 6, then came to my house knocking on the door and running away all last evening

So, last night I went round there to tell him and his wife that their kid is doing this, and also if they have a problem with my son, they need to talk to me 1st and stop yelling and swearing at him. He ended up slamming the door in my face. Today, my son is outside playing and the man came and sat next to him, then said 'don't mind me, you just carry on doing what you're doing'. This is obviously quite scary and intimidating and has freaked me out.

I've had a few offers to 'sort him out' from male friends, but I don't think that would help. I am a single parent and I don't want to get into any ugly situations with this man. He does this to other people too not just us, but everyone sort of ignores it - even the ones with hefty Dads at home.

If I call the police he'll know it was me, and it could make things worse for my son. I don't usually have a problem dealing with stuff, but I don't know what to do about this - any suggestions? ]]> Parenting silverfish http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210480 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210350&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:14:38 GMT So my husband and I went to spend the weekend with my 6 yr old son for his birthday. (he and my toddler live in another state with the father who has... So my husband and I went to spend the weekend with my 6 yr old son for his birthday. (he and my toddler live in another state with the father who has them for the school year. Long story, but we are going throough a custody battle to bring them home rt now)

Anyway, I noticed he was in the bathroom a bit longer than normal. I went and knocked and cracked the door poen to check on him. He was standing nakid, had the toilet paper roll unrolled, was trying to wipe his bottom square by square. (THis was very abnormal for him!). So I said, "baby what are you doing?" He said he was trying to get his bottom clean. Now keep in mind he has lived with his father since August, after being with me as a stay at home mom all his life. He just started school and the father moved in another woman and HER four kids, so he lives in a small 3 br home with daddy, stranger, and shares the house with 6 children total. He shares a bedroom now with three other boys including his brother. HIs conduct at achool has been abnormal and pretty bad, and his grades suck. And he just started kintergarden and is possibl the smartest kid in his class!

So let's move on. I sat him on the toilett, took a good amount of toilet paper and showed him to roll it up, then I handed it to him to wipe behind him. He acted like he didn't know what to do and just sat there. So I took it and said, "Look sweetie like this". so I reached behind him to wipe his bottom. And he blurts out with,

"I know mommy! My Nonny does it for me all the time!"

(The gradmother who has a history of projecting herself as the birthmother, attempting to play mommy and has odd/sick behaviour with them. She is also there nearly 5 days a week taking over my kids and bringing them home with her every weekend. I tried to put a stop to it, but the police dept said there's nothing they can do, and the father allows it despite what she doese with them)

Anyway, I was thinking, why would grandmother (Nonny-my ex husband's mother) wipe my six year old's butt for him all the time?

Now I allready put a stop to her holding his penis for him and tapping it when he was four years old, I put a stop to her using the restroom in front of him and his brother, I put a stop (hopefully) to her leaving them alone in her car to go into gas stations and post offices... At least I hope she's stopped!

So I caled her and confronted her on it. She denied it at first but I was bold and stern, then she admitted to doing it "once". I imediatly told her to stop, then I called my ex and confronted him about it. Of corse as usual he thought nothing of it.

So let me ask you this, is it normal for a paternal OR maternal grandmother to insist on holding peepees well after potty training and into the fourth year, sit there and make a big deal out of pee dripping from my three year old's weiner (another story when my three year old says, "Nonny watches and say drip, drip, drip." after my attempt to get him off the toilet.
And is it normal for a grandmother or even a parent to continue to wipe a kids butt at six years old???

I have called the police department. I confronted her, I confronted him, and I documented it for part of our custody case. What else can I do to ensure she stops? The officials and my attorney say they need "proof". Like bruises, ect. Just a kids word of mouth is not good enough. WOW.

So am I making a big deal out of nothing? WHat do you think? ]]> Parenting wife http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210350 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210342&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:09:40 GMT So my 3 boys are moving to Virginia with their Dad, he's military and transferring there. I think this is a very good move for the boys as they will have some interesting places to visit while there. It looks like Dad will be there for 6-7 months for sure and after then he'll find out where he will be for the next few years.

In the last 6 years they have had 4 moves. My oldest insists that I should move around after Dad because Nana [Dad's mom] does it. I understand that she does this at great cost, but she is stabilized by her son's support of her and lives with him a good deal of the time, the two of us have also supported her financially much of the time by paying her to watch the kids before and after school.

I fly to wherever they are every 4-6 weeks and have them alternating holidays and all summer. I thought we had all adjusted okay to this. I moved o TX after the divorce because Dad's base station will basically be east coast or west coast [as long as he's in the states] and living here, I am halfway to the kids already, no matter where hey are.

I just got back from a visit this past weekend and my 10 year old told me that unless I move to Virginia, he won't come to my house for summer visits anymore. I have explained to him how I can't follow Dad around whenever he transfers from state to state because I wouldn't be stable enough doing that to do what I need to do for him and his brothers. I told him that no matter what he has to come to visit me because it would break my heart if he didn't.

I can't tell my 10 year old that my biggest reasons for not living across town are that his father already screws with my visitation and that when we did live across town I got to see them less than I do flying around the country because there was more stress between their Dad and me and Dad withheld whatever he on paper did not HAVE to give. Dad has been telling him that if I lived in town that I could have hem every weekend and some after school. But I know from experience that this would not be the case.

How do I handle this whole thing? ]]> Parenting tinktronik http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210342