http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:02:08 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210498&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:38:37 GMT where can i meet older women ive always been attracted to them even before i knew the terms cougar or milf. so its not just a fantasy ive always... where can i meet older women ive always been attracted to them even before i knew the terms cougar or milf. so its not just a fantasy ive always thought they were more beautiful and sexy since i was a kid. any recommendations or advice would be great. ]]> Dating curios http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210498 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210494&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:04:55 GMT :(

OK - before we get to the answer lets get a bit of background to explain why I am asking

I'm 46, Australian - OK looking (reasonable physique, average height but bald). I have been married since I was 25 and after our first child my wife left with the child to take up with an old flame in another country. I chased after to get access to my child and after a year or 2 we were back together. Things weren't great, but they weren't bad. We would be intimate a few times a year - but not much more - and before you ask I am pretty sure (99%) that there is no-one else.

This was my first real relationship and I didn't want to give it up - but after a long while I've now concluded that maybe we are both just kidding ourseleves. I want a close loving relationship - with the spark that was there when we first met and I think she does to - unfortunatelly for both of us the other doesn't give the spark.

So at 46 I am now thinking is there really someone out there for everyone?

That one spark where you do feel that this person is right, and that spark which continues on through the years. I know there will be ups and downs - but that someone right would ensure that there are more ups than downs and that at the end of our days we look back and can say - yes we were right together.

So if you've found that someone right for you - let me know, it will re-enforce the hope that there is someone right for me

If you've not found someone just right - but been able to rekindle a long lost relationship - let me know, maybe it will make me realise that what I have is worth the effort and I should go for it and get back that spark

Or if you've not managed to find that right person and like me your sitting in front of a PC or a TV alone with a glass of wine, whisky, port, beer or some other mind altering drug - let me know, maybe it will make me re-think life and realise what the hell - its just life - enjoy the moment, what you have or who your with because there's not much more.

Its a bit of philosophy - but its a serious question. Please be honest - I have been - as your responses will help me work out where to go next. ]]> Dating Joefromoz http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210494 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210483&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:20:36 GMT Sorry if this is juvenile but I've been out of the dating game for a while and am unsure of myself.
I was out with some friends last week and one of the guys I was with ended up kissing me. I saw him a couple times after this and we both acted like it hadn't happened.
He messaged me the other day and asked if I had plans for Friday and if I wanted to do something with him. I said ok, what would you like to do? He said "I don't care, I just want to hang out with you". I assumed we would just be going out for a beer or something casual but then he sent me a message yesterday saying he had made reservations for us at this restaurant which I know is really expensive.
Now I don't know if we are just hanging out or if this is an actual date and I don't want to ask because I'll look like an idiot.
What do you guys think? ]]> Dating sweet_peach115 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210483 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210479&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:09:03 GMT Well Im hoping and praying my luck has changed. I started talking to a guy online in August and shortly after the first email and picture... Well Im hoping and praying my luck has changed.

I started talking to a guy online in August and shortly after the first email and picture exchanges he was making plans to come and see me, he is coming in 2 weeks!

Feeling very excited but aprehensive as well.

I so want this to go right, and we end up together and I relocate.

I know what I want from life, to be a traditional wife and mother - its what I have always wanted since I was a kid, unfortunately I have now reached the age of 28 and it hasnt happened for me yet.

Hoping this guy is the one, however - although he has discussed the idea of me going over to see him and/or taking me on holiday to meet some of his friends if we hit it off, he has not exactly said precisely what he is looking for - long term, one week stand etc.

Perhaps I should have asked him to clarify this early on before he booked flights, now Im left wondering - what if hes just coming for a shag then I dont hear from him again? But then I keep telling myself he wouldnt be going to all this effort if it was all about getting laid, I mean it would be far cheaper and less hassle for him to go to a local bar and find a woman for that, also why would he suggest future plans if he didnt mean it? I think Im just worrying too much as my last man promised me a new life in Brazil then just dropped out of contact on me and brutally abandoned me like he always did. Also, online guy is 35 and has never been married or had any kids as far as I know, Im thinking hes at the sort of age where he may be looking for something serious?

Everything has looked really positive, its my bad past experiences that have scarred me emotionally and now I fear abandonment, also find it hard to believe a guy would like me enough to make me his exclusive girlfriend - I dont want my lack of confidence to show.

I guess my main question here is whether or not I should tell him Im scared of getting hurt, ask him what his intentions are and what he wants from life - also as Im a very honest and forthright person I would like to be able to make it clear to him what I want without scaring him off! I just dont want him to return to the US not knowing where I stand. But then all the friends Ive spoken to about this have said he will probably thinking the same - that he will be eager to know where this is going too. ]]> Dating xxxheartbrokenxxx http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210479 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210478&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:03:47 GMT Ok I have posted about this girl a couple of weeks back but am so unsure whether I should just cut her loose because I am not to big of a fan of... Ok I have posted about this girl a couple of weeks back but am so unsure whether I should just cut her loose because I am not to big of a fan of chasing someone.

Anyways met a few weeks back in town got her number, then we went out on a date a few days later and didnt talk to the weekend. She had a wedding so i didnt expect to meet her but she called and wanted me to meet here cousins, i went out and she commented lots on how cute I look and we kissed awhile in the bar and then drove her home and she asked to pull over ( we kissed awhile yada yada yada). Well she started a new job an hour away the next week so we knew we could only see eachother on the weekends which is fine. Sent a few texts and she sent one that said hope to see you soon which was nice. The weekend after I went out of state so we couldnt meet up but have made plans for this weekend.

Now this weekend comes and she mentioned about coming up last night which she didnt so that was fine but on saturday we talked about me going there or vise versa. She said she would call me and let me know her plans but she really hasnt.

Anyways i text last night asking what her plans were and awhile later she responds sorry for the late reply, went out with friends then asks if I still coming up? Anyways i didnt get the text for abit then sent one back saying i would like to but wasnt sure if we went out if i had a place to stay and what do you think i should do (which i think is very logical). Then I get no reply and it wasnt too late. I tried calling just to try to suss it out but no answer.

Not sure if I have done anything wrong or if maybe she just not really interested. We havent seen eachother that much but if she wasnt interested shouldnt she just tell me. Never found it this hard to read a girl. I mean when we talk she sounds fully interested but when push comes to shove it feels like I am doing most the work. Any advice on what to do would be great? Should I call again around miday tommorrow? Not sure if i want to, and i know it sounds childish, but i dont want to have sent a text with no reply, then a call with no call back and then call again. ]]> Dating Broseph http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210478 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210476&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:45:09 GMT So I figured out how to get people to respond to a first contact.

Saying "You seem interesting. Tell me about yourself. Lets get to know each other. I hope to hear back. Bla bla." Doesn't work.

So I changed my approach and was a little witty. I captured a girls attention.

Now I got to send a response back to her. Knowing she likes someone who is witty I'm completely lost as what to say as this is the first person who has ever responded with interest.

On a side note on another dating site I messaged a girl and she checkout my profile and put me on her favorites but never responded. So I winked at her. Still waiting to see if she responds. Should I send her another message? ]]> Dating Lost-n-confused http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210476 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210467&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:24:14 GMT Im curious as to what people think of the following. How much is a new partner entitled to know about your past relationships and sexual... Im curious as to what people think of the following.

How much is a new partner entitled to know about your past relationships and sexual activity?

More so for older people. Youre a thirty soemthing single man or woman or older. Realistically there is a lot of "baggage"

Are they entitled to know how many partners? All the kind of activities you may have participated in? Do you feel entitled to know? ]]> Dating jerseyboy http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210467 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210460&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:31:56 GMT I met my current BF 8 months ago. I have 3 kids, 23, 19 and 13. I was living alone the kids in another state. I had been partying and meeting... I met my current BF 8 months ago. I have 3 kids, 23, 19 and 13. I was living alone the kids in another state. I had been partying and meeting different people but no one to make a relationship with. So, on the night I had told myself that I was done looking and not going to the bar anymore I met my BF. He is a nice looking man with a pretty good personality. He told me he was a partner in a business that was just opening around where I live and we talked he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. The next day we went to dinner and haven't been without each other since. A few days into seeing each other he told me he has been married 5 times and he's only 40. Well technically only married 4 times and one common law marriage. He has 4 kids, 19, 13, 10 and 7. At the time none of them were living with him for whatever reason but he gets his 7 year old alot. We have grown very close. He is trying to get his 13 and 10 year old as well because they want to live with him. Well, I bought a house and he has been living with me since I moved in. Things are good. He's home everyday, he cooks all meals (likes to cook) I never have to wonder where he is, he calls me often etc. But, he isn't and never was a part owner in a company and now that that company has ended he is working but barely making enough money to take care of himself. We agreed on an amount of money for him to give me each week to help pay the bills and 90 percent of the time he's unable to give it to me. Usually he tells me the guy he's working for didn't pay him what he owed him. I told him this has got to change because I can't and shouldn't be expected to carry the financial load (though I have a very good job and I'm retired from the military). My question really is how do I know if I'm being used. He seems so sincere in the way he acts and treats me. Could it really be as most people say about him. That he just has married the wrong women and as he says that he's just having a hard time right now. I'm asking because he has asked me to marry him and though I love him I know I don't want to be the one paying the bills when he moves his two kids in. I know the mothers won't pay child support. And, he can't afford to take care of them. ]]> Dating kalena9488 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210460 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210443&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:21:56 GMT I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now, and lately she's been really distant. I understand though, because she has had a lot of stress lately, with school, family and especially because one of her best friend's mum died.

I'm really worried about her, so I asked her if there was anything I could do to help, and she said "No, I have to think this through and work it out myself - I still care for you, but I'm just trying to sort out my head". Not being clingy or possessive, I said "Okay, no problem. I'll give you some space to work it out, just talk to me when it's all okay,"

That was about 2 weeks ago. For the last week, I've been greeting her regularly at school with a kiss, but not really going into an indepth conversation (she doesn't seem to want one anyway), hoping that it'll give her some room to think. In fact, I haven't really gotten into a conversation or called her in the past 2 weeks, focusing on my own thing and myself.

Lately however, she has had on-and-off periods of either being really close to me, or hardly acknowledging that I'm there, and I'm really starting to lose track if she's really okay or not. One cannot be patient forever, and I want to know if she is ready to start up again, because I'm starting to miss her.

I guess the question I'm asking is: Do I continue my pseudo-NC, or do I take a risk and check up on her? ]]> Dating Navsh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210443 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210442&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:19:52 GMT This is hypothetical, but lets say you knew a guy for a while, and he was a pretty good musician. This musician has always dreamed of traveling the... This is hypothetical, but lets say you knew a guy for a while, and he was a pretty good musician. This musician has always dreamed of traveling the country touring, and he asked you if you would like to come along and be the dancer to his music, sort of like gypsies. You and him traveling the country seeing all the sites and going to where people are and him playing and singing while you dance to his music and draw a crowd, possibly making some cash in the process. With cool costumes and something people just don't see everyday.

So I ask the single, young, unattached ladies on here, could you ever see yourself living an alternate lifestyle on the road, like a gypsy? ]]> Dating espec10001 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210442 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210435&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:19:13 GMT So he is kinda my bf, just not confirmed yet. All we do is flirt, talk, text, make out =] He is 26, i am 20. we work together.
One night after work, like a month ago we were making out in my car and i felt him massaging my leg and then going for, well.. you know. he wasnt in my pants or anything... but i had stopped kissing him, because i didnt know what to do. i never was involved with anybody like this before. he is the first. so i guess it was just unexpected and a shock to me.
i know he's not a virgin.
but im really happy to say he hasnt really went anywhere since then.
anyways, he's asked me 2 weeks ago if i was scared of him, and at first i was like, huh? then i said no. then i said i dont know why, after talking about it.

So yesterday, we were making out and he goes, "why are you scared of me?" and i just said i didnt think i was. he said sometimes when he like touches me he sees that i am scared of him. but the thing is, he never even touched me, he just brought it up. he's just really affectionate as we kiss. i said i didnt know, it turned into laughing and then i just said i didnt figure myself out yet....
he asked if i was ever alone with a guy before. and i said yes! =( because a few months ago i told him i had a bf before, which i totally lied because i thought i should just say yes because i was 20. i dont know WHY i did though.

but here is the thing: i know im not ready to lose my virginity to him. he's not a virgin anymore, so idk. what do i say? and when he goes "why are you scared of me" what do i do? i really like him. he is so sweet and cute..

i know this might sound really childish.. =/

but i can use any help i can get ;) thanks!! ]]> Dating jaclynxox89 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210435 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210430&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:43:53 GMT What's going on with this?

Met a woman thru a friend a few months ago when I started going to AA meetings with him. I'm sober 21 years. For her 15 years.

They're very close, but she's a much younger--daughter type to him.

She's about 10 years younger than I--my 45 to her 35.

He said early on that she was interested in being my friend, but that I'd never have a fling or relationship with her. Felt like a put down, figured it came from her saying she wasn't attracted to me that way. I don't feel like it was a put down from him. He greatly likes, respects, and admires me; thinks I'm a "real "catch" for any woman.

Things seem awkward between she and I. Stilted conversations, she seems to approach and retreat. Can't figure her out. I need a friend very much, but I'm very interested her for many substantive reasons--and physical attraction--for more than that.

She told him a few weeks ago she's "practicing flirting with you." What's up with that?

We have only had one long (20-25 minutes) 1-1 in conversation, once, at her place.

The awkwardness is puzzling, but she's just divorced, and there's the early comment from him about my lack of oppty for more than friendship.

She's called a few times, increasingly, the last few weeks to come over and help with things at her house--along with others--and to 2 very small gatherings she's had. Last Sat. at her place--house projects again--when I asked what she'd done the night before she said she was crying out of loneliness and unhappiness. She called the next day to thank me for helping, left a mesage. I returned her call and said we, referring to just us or with others, should do something fun this weekend. It's been meetings and the few things above.

Last night at a meeting she was beaming. I asked why she's so happy and she said "I have a date." I had no response, felt very awkward. No further talk about it from either of us. I don't want to hear about it due to my feelings. Today he called about helping her at her house on Sat. I will, but it felt weird that she didn't call me. She and I have exchanged a number of calls in the last week and half--just a few days ago--mostly at her initiation. Her not calling in lieu of him is very off-putting; retreat by her. Weird.

I'm in a phase where a relationship isn't a good idea--with anyone--and as just divorced--last month--it seems so for her, too. I don't handle platonic relationships with women I'm interested in well at all. I'm confused and probably coming of as awkward, too. I want a friend, and her as friend, but more, too, if not now.

Comments about this dynamic from women? My interpretation is that she's interested, but awkward, in general socially--he confirms this, not only with me but with me persoanlly--and is somewhat interested, but maybe not for now or whatever, hnce the up-down nature of our contact. ]]> Dating theumlaut http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210430 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210426&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:26:11 GMT There's a guy I met a couple of years ago. We clicked and there was an intensity between us. But we were both going through some bad stuff and, well, it was just not a great scene.

He's a sweet guy and I think he knows I'm a nice girl. But since the friction we've not been able to really clear things up. We used to run into one another frequently but haven't for a while now.

So, life goes on. It's not consumed me or anything but I think about him now and then. And I know I'll run into him again since we know a lot of the same people.

The thing is, during the times when we've seen each other he's usually watched me from across the room until I look back, our eyes meet and lock and we smile and just kinda gaze at one another.

Dorky, I know. But it always makes me mushy inside.

I always wondered what he was thinking when he was looking at me for so long. (Usually I could spot him watching me before I returned his look.)

Next time I see him I'd like to reconnect and actually initiate a conversation or make myself available for him to. It's really been a comedy of errors more than anything.

So, generally, what is a guy thinking when he watches you for so long? And what should I say or do to kind of reset things with him? I just feel like I'd like a clean slate with him. ]]> Dating Sharon1961 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210426 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210418&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:37:27 GMT There is a girl at work who I'm thinking about trying to talk to...

Currently I only work one day a week, and this is the last week I'll be working this job until at least next May (if not forever). In other words, its pretty much this week or never.

This particular girl is friends with some of my friends on Facebook, so I've been considering adding her as a friend myself. If I do, I'd probably add a quick note just saying who I am... not more than one short sentence (i.e., that we work together and what I do). My intent would simply be to make saying hello in person slightly less awkward for myself.

Most people here seem to view Facebook as complete evil when it comes to approaching someone new... Personally, I don't see the problem with this (at least not in this situation), but I thought I'd gather some other opinions simply because it is an option.

Let me know what you think. ]]> Dating Khabarak http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210418 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210413&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:25:08 GMT So a friend introduced me to this guy via text. We texted back and forth for a week and a half before I let him come over. I just moved so he... So a friend introduced me to this guy via text. We texted back and forth for a week and a half before I let him come over. I just moved so he carried heavy boxes, light my water heater, painted and we chatted for over two hours. I know you're not supposed to but we ended up making out which let to sex. Afterwards, we cuddled for two hours. He talked about his kids, life, career, what we really wanted to do, etc. Finally he said we should go to bed. In the morning he let me dog out, kissed me good-bye and tucked me back in. While I was sleeping he texted me saying it was great to finally meet me.

So I went to lunch with the friend that introduced us and she was rather bitter. Saying that he always cuddles and goes around doing other people. While, yes, we all do, she was really bitter the way she said it...another friend was with us. Monday evening he texted me telling me that he had a date that night! Will someone help me understand this??? ]]> Dating whattothink http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210413