http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it! en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:56:11 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210438&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:21:54 GMT I told her several days ago I gave up on trying to get her back. We both agreed to remain friends. I talked to her today, but she told me she was not... I told her several days ago I gave up on trying to get her back. We both agreed to remain friends. I talked to her today, but she told me she was not over me. She would be really hurt if I dated someone else.

I broke up with my Ex. She still wants to work it out. She wants to earn my trust, but at the same time she wants us to date other people. Also, I haven't been able to see her in 2 weeks, and it seems like she's doing it on purpose.

My thoughts are she's keeping me around as her rebound in case it doesn't work out with a guy she went on a date with.

Any suggestions? ]]> Second Chances 1994 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210438 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210400&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:00:18 GMT How to propose to an EX
So I'm about to break 2+ months of NC.

My girlfriend of 3 years wanted to get married, but got sick of me not putting her first in the relationship. Up until 3 weeks before the break, she was had been hinting alot about marriage.

So do you guys think I should just by a ring and propose to her, or should I setup a coffee date, and try and take it slow? ]]> Second Chances Weezy http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210400 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210379&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:29:43 GMT Hello everybody, I hope you can help me in intrepreting the situation. Been with my girlfiend over 4 years since we were 19. I have slept... Hello everybody,

I hope you can help me in intrepreting the situation.

Been with my girlfiend over 4 years since we were 19. I have slept with girls before (not many) but I was her first. We have always been faithful to each other. I have so many wonderful memories. We broke up (i should mention we broke up before but only for 3 days). this is the scenario: One day she asked me to go to dinner with a friend and I said "I don't feel like it". Then she suddenly said "i can't do this anymore".

She broke up with me around a 5/6 weels ago now

I love her to bits and I know I want a family with her. I have been torturing myself (not literally hah) because I know it's all my own fault, I became lazy with the relationship and didn't do stuff with her anymore. Her Father died 8 month's ago and she phoned me when she was upset about it and i said stuff like "busy can't talk, bye". (I know I am a bastard, never regretted something so much before)
She wants to be 'friends'. I said yes to keep contact open. We were still phoning each other regularly and I was asking her to meet up go to dinner and she kept saying "no i want more space and need time to sort my life out" etc etc.

It was my birthday and she came along. We kissed and it was expected from both of us. She was saying "I want too but we shouldn't do this".
I was saying "ah it doesn't matter lets just enjoy the moment". So we did. But I have not seen her since for a month now. However stayed in contact.

Recently i didnt contact her for 4 days and she called me and and said that she thought she had done something to piss me off and why hadn't i phoned etc.
I said "i am giving you the space you wanted". She then said she is sad about life and depressed. I was going out that night.
She phoned back an hour later and said "I feel like crying. I said "I have to go now sorry getting ready to go out" and she got angry and said that I should support her stay on the phone etc. I didn't take it and said "really sorry i have to go".

At this point i was thinking great she wants me again there is hope and i went back to phoning her regularly.

Last night's conversation:

I asked her to go to dinner again, she said she is not ready to see me.
I got angry/frustrated with her as she never wants to see me I told her to be more decisive and i know what i want in life and she doesn't and I need to know my position. I told her i feel like she is stringing me along and is always hot and cold with me. We had an arguement and we were both defensive. It wasn't pretty. After the conversation i thought **** i put my guard down.

Everytime i ask her to meet up to go to dinner she says no i need more time/space.
I had asked her directly 'do you still have any expectation to be with me or not?' response was "i don't know i need more time".
She mentioned to me: "I find it too hard to meet up with you because i know if i do i will want you"
Now I won't phone her anymore and give her what she wants but i was thiking of sending her a lighthearted text tommorow just to clear the air. Or should i just avoid contact entirely?

I just feel she is being hot and cold all the time and I do not know where i stand.

Please comment on the text i plan to send tommorow:

'Hi there, what are you up to tonight? I am going out but nothing special, lol. I want to apologise for being bitter on the phone before. I do want us to be friends and I am happy to give you all the space you need. X'

Is she playing some sort of power game? minipulating me? Am I missing something?

Sorry for the drivvle but i was hoping for some advice from you good people here. Need to sort my head out. ]]> Second Chances Mr.Mystery http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210379 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210353&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:55:48 GMT My husband came back home last night, but I didn't feel as over joyed as I thought I would feel. I was kind of indifferent about it and had a hard time reconnecting with him. I love my husband, but he has hurt me deeply in the past and I am really worried that he may have just come back home because he realized whatever he was doing in the streets was not better than what he had at home. I don't know I am just really questioning his motives for being home. I just didn't get the vibe of him being happy or even much affection from him. Is this just jitters and nervousness because we have been seperated and now need to get to know each other again. Anyone gone through this and has it worked out? Was your marriage stronger after the break up? I have said that I am going to come back into my marriage with a clean slate and let the past be the past. I want to 100% trust him and move forward, but I still have doubts and thoughts of him being with other women in my head. He is friends with plenyt of his ex's on Facebook and it just kills me. Sometimes I think maybe I should just delete him as my friend so I am not obsessing over what he is doing or who he is talking to. How can I stop snooping and move foward with things. Any advice is appreciated and before it is said I want to work on my marriage and I want to stay together. We have history and kids so please don't send leave him posts thanks. ]]> Second Chances bhgirl http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210353 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210348&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:49:00 GMT Hello; this will be my first post on LS. I dated my ex for a year and 1/2. (We lived together and worked together also- so we saw each other... Hello; this will be my first post on LS.

I dated my ex for a year and 1/2. (We lived together and worked together also- so we saw each other 24hrs a day pretty much every day). I have been friends with him for almost six years now. We dated for a month when I was 21 until he moved back to his home state. I moved out to the same state when I was 23 and we started dating again a little after I turned 24.

With the crappy economy he was one of a few people that were laid off in his department at our workplace(in April). We fought about money, etc. Super stressful time and we broke-up. He moved in July to take a job that is 3hrs away. The job will eventually transfer him back to the city I live in within 3months.

He has a new girlfriend now. (We have been broke up for about 6months - they have been dating for the last three). Not that it matters, but they have only known each other since June. I, myself, have not physically seen him for four months due to him moving.

Anyway, my post isn't exactly for advice. See, my ex and I have always been close. And since our break-up, the longest we have gone without talking was one, two-week stretch. I call/text/email him or he calls/texts/emails me at least once a week, if not two or three times. I do want to date him again sometime, but we both have to work on some things. My thing is, I do not want to be friends with him when he has a girlfriend. It is Bull-crap. He needs to be calling her, not me. So today I am starting my Get Him Back or Get Over Him diary. Ideally I would like to get him back, but if the side effect of this project is to get over him, then I'll take that too.

So here is my initial plan:
I am NOT going to call him, or answer unless he really needs me for something (so sue me, i'm just not very bitter towards him, so if it is an emergency I will be there). I just want to keep myself honest by posting updates on my progress etc. If you have any additional advice, let me know and maybe I can add that to my little experiment. Thank you all!!! ]]> Second Chances 1plus1 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210348 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210334&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:41:50 GMT So a mutual friend of mine and my ex-fiance's, who is in communication with both of us, is telling me I need to keep hope and keep in touch with my ex every few days or so, and try to be friendly and let him "build his trust back up in the relationship".

I am torn. Everything my ex said to me indicated he thought the chance of us reconciling was slim to none. He said "obviously with this much love here I'd never say never". But he also said he thought it was unlikely based on his current feeling, and he felt it would be unfair to me not to be honest about what his opinion was at the time.

So I had gone NC... not spoken to him or anything since Monday. I don't want to just be friends with my ex. It hurts enough thinking he might be gone from my life forever, and it's much worse talking to him and knowing that.

What exactly am I supposed to do? If there's a chance, I want to give it an opportunity. But if not, I just want to stop talking to him and move on. How am I supposed to know if he's just telling me that so I don't wait around and be hurt, or if our mutual friend is misunderstanding things?

Our mutual friend is an older guy, married, and has always liked us both. I don't believe he would ever purposely mislead me. I'm just concerned that maybe he's misunderstanding what my ex is telling him, or maybe my ex is not being totally honest with him about his feelings on our R.

Any insight here folks? ]]> Second Chances stace79 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210334 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210322&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:21:06 GMT Often times I hear NC preached a lot as the best chance you have of reconciling with your ex dumper someday as NC has a way of revealing what... Often times I hear NC preached a lot as the best chance you have of reconciling with your ex dumper someday as NC has a way of revealing what feelings are truly in their heart for you.

I am one of those who believes in NC. My question is do you think it's ever possible to go too far with NC? Are there any cases where NC can backfire on a dumpee if reconciliation is what they desire?

Is it possible to do NC for too long? Like for example. My ex dumps me. I start NC immediately from the very night she broke it off. I don't beg and don't cry in front of her. I just automatically leave & act indifferent.

Then I keep up NC for 6 months. She calls several times & leaves several voicemails saying she wants to meet me & discuss reconciliation. Let's say I never return her calls. I keep ignoring her attempts to get in touch with me even after she left messages saying she wants to reconcile.

Is that taking NC too far or is that the length I should be doing NC anyway if I want her back? Some might suggest that I continue to do NC until the dumper comes to my house knocking on my front door. Is it even realistic to assume that dumpers will go to that extreme if they want you back? What do you think? ]]> Second Chances grande01 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210322 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210320&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:20:33 GMT He said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for... He said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for letting what happend happen, Is this him trying to reach out to see if im still into him, is this a second chance... what do i do? ]]> Second Chances Confused728 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210320