http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place! en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:25:42 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210500&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:55:55 GMT I started seeing this guy a few weeks ago and the dates we've gone on have been so much fun and he especially has never hesitated to make that very clear to me. But during the week, we just communicate mostly be text and the occasional phone call. I had invited him over to my house the other week, which he declined because he had to help with a family business issue... I automatically took that as a little rejection. But, the next day, he sent me an email apologizing and insisting he was going to take me out next week and make it all about me. But, the texting has gotten less and of course the calls have gotten to almost nothing. We met online and once I started feeling like he wasn't that into me, I started logging on again. Unfortunately, you can see when someone has logged on and he caught me on there. However, we had agreed that we'd still see other people until we agreed on exclusivity. But, I don't know if that completely turned him off when he saw me online...

So now I'm left wondering if he is playing hard to get... or if he has basically lost interest. ]]> General Relationship Discussion soconfusing http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210500 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210469&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:48:32 GMT I just came back from seeing relatives in foreign country, parents are immigrants and my entire family is there. I'm 23 and live with my father, but like 5 minute drive from mom who I see basically everyday, basically I'll just use my cousins description of our relationship, which was basically my mother is manipulative and sucks the life out of everyone around her while I am good hearted and therefore easily controllable.

I've always tried to be good to my mom, I've started making good money and have tried to help her out but recently less and less because it is never enough. Just to give some sort of example (not real) if I give her $100 she will want $200 next time and if she won't get it she will get pissy. She basically only thinks of herself and just doesn't seem to help me out at all anymore yet asks way too much of me, calls me everyday, wants me to run random errands for her because I work at home and therefore in her mind have all the free time in the world.

She constantly is negative to me will make some sarcastic remark about whatever and if I ever say something back she will say she was just joking and how I can't take a joke. Is never wrong and somehow guilts me into always thinking it is my fault even though I know in my head its not, is an attention whore and started up the "I want to kill myself" crap again, I got pissed before my trip when she said it for the second time and just left while packing, came back and shes not talking to me and somehow I feel the burden is on me. I've heard "no one ever helped me in my life and I'm not going to help anyone else" a few times recently which was basically a dig at me, I guess in her head now that I make six figures I'm supposed to give her half since she is in debt and struggling. I've given her stuff but don't want to completely support her, especially since shes the type who if given a million bucks would go through it in three months, just flushing money down the toilet. I'm kind of scared what she will do when she can't work anymore, she works off the books and I think I'm her retirement plan and scared I will be guilted into it somehow...

She has been pretty ****ty to me through the course of my life, was an alcoholic until recently and had to put up with her crap then for a while, has basically borrowed/stolen $15k which I'll never see again.

Around last year she started to basically campaign for me to buy a house, telling me how great of an investment it was as the housing market crashed. Her intentions were obviously for her to move in with me so she can basically have her own house. I have no interest in buying a house at all and made it clear but kept hearing it. Now when I went to visit relatives her two sisters basically did the same thing and campaigned for it to the point I didn't want to be around them. One of them was just straight forward and basically told me 5x over the course of the day how it would be best for us to buy house and have my mom take care of house/cook/clean etc. Other kind of tried to guilt me into it, basically saying that I should help my mom out, that I only have one mom, if I loved her, etc etc that I should help her out with rent, brought up buying house and supporting her but not straight forward way of other aunt. My cousin who visited us a few times was approached by aunts to campaign also but told them to but out of it and said the best thing I ever did was move out of my mom's house since I have no life because of her. Really funny and hypocritical by my aunts too considering aunt #1 isn't even on speaking terms with her daughter for a while and aunt #2 told me I should get away from my dad as far as possible because of how bad he has been to me and how my cousin should get away from her parents and move out because of the fact they are a financial burden on her and she just cleans up after them. My cousin said my aunts basically hear one side of the story regarding how it is in the US from my mother and the perception is that I'm rollling in money while my mother is struggling and I won't throw her a penny.

But it comes back to the fact I would feel guilty moving away (on top of the fact I have no life, SAD, and am kind of scared of change) and leaving her alone. She only has one friend and her dog and seemed to do bad when I was away for two weeks, she told me to cancel tickets a few days after I booked them and basically called everyday. Cousin said it would be best though to get away since she relies on me too much and leaving her alone would be only way she could straighten out her life. ]]> General Relationship Discussion kahn2154 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210469 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210439&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:16:54 GMT I have been friends with my very best friend for 26 years, since we were little kids. She has recently been having a lot of marital troubles and... I have been friends with my very best friend for 26 years, since we were little kids.

She has recently been having a lot of marital troubles and has been coming over to my house waaaay more than she ever has. The problem is her husband won't put out anymore, is distant, they fight alot and he spends a lot of time on the computer and away from the home.

I think he's having an affair and have said as much, but she thinks that I'm wrong.

My problem is with my boyfriend. He has told me on numerous occasions that my friend is "attractive" or "cute". Okay, fine.

Whenever my friend comes over, he makes it a point to hang around the entire time. He makes conversation, plays with her 6 month old baby, flirts, etc.

Last night, my best friend made a comment to him about how I have recently got braces put on my teeth and how could I still give him a blowjob and he went on in detail to tell her how he liked his c@ck sucked. I just sat there like someone sucker punched me.

I mean, SHE is supposed to be my best friend and HE is supposed to be my boyfriend.

After she left, we got into a huge fight. He thinks he did nothing wrong by answering her question. I am furious at her for even asking and furious at him for providing so much detail.

I would never have such disrespect towards him to talk about how I like my twat licked with his best friend. It just seems so disrespectful and I half wonder if anything is going on between the two of them.

He said I am just being totally insecure.

Am I? ]]> General Relationship Discussion AppleGirl http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210439 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210423&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:35:31 GMT Okay, so, putting "hate on American women" rants to the curb, and keeping them curbed, who is an American, raised in America, who has had experiences dating outside the country and what can you tell me about your experience?

Why do I ask?

Tired of my luck here and I want a good, positive place to go elsewhere, to.

So please, NO SECOND HAND STORIES. Personal experience only. ]]> General Relationship Discussion coruscate http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210423 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210408&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:43:49 GMT An ex-boyfriend of mine, who I'd dated for a year and had never gotten over, finally asked me out on another date recently after two years of not speaking. I was so happy, I'd been hoping he'd ask me out again and we'd been flirting a lot lately. We went to the movies, and walked around the mall. I'd felt like everything went really well. He was taking things slow, so I didn't think it was just a hook-up, considering we weren't doing anything but kissing. We'd been talking about the past, and I told him about how I knew he was into hook-ups now and that I didn't wanted to be just a hook-up. I told him that if that's all this was, then I just wanted him to say so, so I would know not to get hopes up. He assured me and promised me 'I wasn't just a hook-up, and that after everything we'd been through I wasn't just some girl'. He had seemed very sincere with the promise. The date ended with just a little bit of making out and a goodbye kiss.

I kept checking my phone that night hoping to recieve a text or something from him but i didn't get anything. The next day I waited again, hoping for anything. When nothing came, I figured I'd text him instead of waiting for him to. He didn't reply.

The next few days when I saw him around, we'd walk by each other without even speaking. I thought he was ignoring me so I didn't want to talk to him. After the week had ended, I finally decided to text him and ask for an explanation. I texted him saying "I've noticed you don't want to talk to me, but I was wondering what the problem is?" He called me immediately, and claimed that it was ME who had been ignoring HIM and that he didn't want to talk to me because he thought I was ignoring him. He continued to say that he never got any texts from me.

I believed every word he said, because I wanted it to be true. In the back of my mind, I thought about how when we'd pass each other, I'd always look at him. He wouldn't even attempt to look at me. That was the first suspicious thing. The second thing was that if his texts didn't work the first time, why did it randomly work the last time I'd texted him? Both times my phone had said it had been delivered.

I let my denial block my logical thinking, so over the next few days, I decided to text him and see if he wanted to hang out again. He didn't reply. And I haven't heard from him or seen him since.

I'm confused about the whole situation. It's pretty clear he wasn't interested, but I don't understand why he took the time to assure to me I wasn't just a hook up, especialyl considering he didn't even try anything on the date. I'd thought based on our history, and how well the date had gone in my opinion that we'd probably start dating again.

I was hoping somebody might have some advice, or might be able to tell me what went wrong? ]]> General Relationship Discussion draggedalong http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210408 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210405&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:51:16 GMT Do you all have any suggestions for how to turn off emotional/affective responses to certain individuals whom you don't want to have an emotional/affective response toward?

By emotional/affective response, I mean an involuntary psychological and/or physiological response to a particular person? So, for example, you see someone and you automatically feel aroused by him/her? Or, as a counter-example, you see someone, and you have an automatic dislike of that person that may even make you physically ill?

My situation, for reference, is the former. I swear, I can't get over this damn professor--I'm sure most of you are up-to-date with the story. Anyway, I hadn't been in his class in a week, and in that week, I was completely unphased by my attraction to him. Gladly, I thought I was over him.

LOL, I see him today in class, and I'll be damned if I didn't fall right back into the infatuation.

So stupid. Is there a method--some stoic method, perhaps--that alleviates said problem? I'm about ready to go into his office and tell him how I feel, so that he'll reject me and I can get over this! I've never been so irrational...

Anyway, in answering my question, you don't necessarily have to take my particular situation into account, but just consider the original two unbiased examples.

UGH! :sick::sick::mad: ]]> General Relationship Discussion always_searching http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210405 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210392&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:43:12 GMT so that is just one of many issues. first off, i married my husband 9 months ago after a very brief courtship. he cried when we bought our... so that is just one of many issues. first off, i married my husband 9 months ago after a very brief courtship. he cried when we bought our engagement rings. he told me that he was sure i was the one. he had never been so happy in his whole life. i felt whole--with only one expectation--i just wanted him to love me. when he proposed, he awkwardly prefaced the proposal with "so i don't know if i believe in monogamy, but i love you and want you to be my partner. if you are okay with that, will you marry me?" i knew in the past he had enjoyed an occasional threesome/foursome with a couple of his exes. i thought it was probably experimentation. well, i agreed to marry him, caught up in the whirlwind and excitement. he had mentioned that maybe with me he wouldn't want to ever share. that maybe it was a phase. that's what i heard from the whole thing. we were married. he then decided after a couple months that we should join a swinger website. he made the profile. i have to admit, i found the idea intriguing. so we met up with a couple. we had sex. he said he loved watching me have sex with the other guy. i was really drunk and angry that he knew i was that drunk and felt a bit like i had to sleep with those people eventhough i wasn't attracted to them. the fallout from that experience has been ultimately near damning. since then, he has lost his job as a pilot and has lost his sex drive. plus he always says that he told me the truth about who he was from the beginning and doesn't want to waste any more time with someone who won't allow him to be who he is sexually. so we are back on the website. i'm nervous that if i don't like the followup encounter with the new couple that my marriage will be over. he always talks dirty during sex to get an erection about having sex with other people or having someone film us. he gets angry if i ever say that i'm not interested and does the whole "you knew what i was about, i've never lied to you" line anytime i say anything about being nervous about trying it again. he has been so short tempered since losing his job and doesn't understand why i am so tired after working to support us. he yells if i ask if he's looked for a job and is belittling. i want to try counseling, but i am so embarrassed about the lifestyle and talking about our sex life. i'm just tired of feeling like our love is conditional. what should i do? ]]> General Relationship Discussion nrseiv http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210392 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210335&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:45:02 GMT Basically just when you completely and totally let down a friend you said you'd help.

Specifically friend (bf's friend, not mine) is fighting with his wife; asks to sleep on the couch here. Says he'll be over around 2 or 3am.

Bf got really hammered and forgot to leave a key outside, and neither of us woke up at 3am when his friend called him.

So....what can he do to make that up? ]]> General Relationship Discussion NotNow http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210335 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210330&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:20:41 GMT please delete this essage thanksssss please delete this essage thanksssss ]]> General Relationship Discussion dell2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210330