http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences! en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:25:47 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210497&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:12:35 GMT hi all.... my g/f of 4 1/2 yrs told me bout 2 weeks ago she wanted 2 take a break for maybe 6 months...her and i got together while she was going... hi all....
my g/f of 4 1/2 yrs told me bout 2 weeks ago she wanted 2 take a break for maybe 6 months...her and i got together while she was going thru a divorce...( bout 6 months into a yr. long divorce)...things were great 4 the first 2 yrs or so...but since she has been running herself ragged...she has gained 40 lbs and is miserable bout her weight...she holds alot of guilt towards her kids (she thinks she ruined their lives due 2 the divorce) she has 2 young boys (6-7) who have started soccer...karate...tiger/cub scouts in the last yr and a half or so...she goes 2 all their events...and cannot take me cause her divorce agreement...she works a full time job (1 hr commute 1 way) and when she has her kids she has 2 drop them off @ exs sisters house so she can get them off 2 school..(her and ex each get kids 4 half the week)..so that adds bout a xtra half hr 2 her driving time...we maintain seperate households...also due 2 her divorce agreement...(shes been divorced twice...divorce agree says we cannot live 2gether unless we r married.... and shes not sure if she ever want 2 be married again)...she is always busy shopping...cleaning...doing laundry ect...she has had less and less time 4 me...and for herself...even tho we spent time w each other whenever we could...i have been getting less and less time 2 spend with her......my question is...does this kinda break mean she want it 2 be over??? she says she loves me with all her heart and does not want 2 hurt me...but she feels she has 2 do this to get her head straight...says she is physcially and mentaly exausted and just dont have the time 2 dedicate 2 our relationship rite now...we tried a break before but she called me everyday... and after a week she initiated a meeting... and we just fell back into our old routine...
but this time she says she wants nc because she dont want any outside influence while she is gettin herself 2gether...told me she will contact me when she gets her head straight...she dont know how long it will be...but she is seeing a therapist....says she loves me and dont want 2 hurt me/lose me... but she NEEDS 2 do this!!! and she dont want me 2 put my life on hold cause that wouldnt be fair 2 me....we have had a very good relationship...even thru the rougher times...we rarely fight and we get those resolved quickly...always been tons of love and togetherness there....but seems different this time... do u think there could b some1 else???? do u think she truly needs the time 2 sort out her issues??? or is she just trying 2 end it and hope i will just go away??? a womans opinion would be great!!!! ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up clingymon http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210497 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210488&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:17:37 GMT My girlfriend of 3.5 years left me on monday for my best friend, and since then I have been an emotional wreck. We started dating when she was 19... My girlfriend of 3.5 years left me on monday for my best friend, and since then I have been an emotional wreck.

We started dating when she was 19 and I was 18. She is almost 23 and I am 22. We both went to school together, but she was a year ahead of me, so when she graduated we alternated weekends visiting each other. Things had been going great until recently. She would come into bed later and ask if things were working out. I was usually asleep, but I would always hear the words when I awoke the next day.

Three weeks ago we had a fight when I wasn't feeling the best after coming home from work. When she asked me how I was I said fine but tired. She asked me to come keep her company in the shower while she was bathing, and I went in and we talked. She said something was wrong, and I needed to tell her what was on my mind. I didnt want to, but I had told her that I felt that her friend Sara, who was spending upwards of 5 nights a week at her house while going to school, was really straining our relationship, as though she was driving a spike between us. I said I wanted to spend more time with her and not her friend, but she interpreted that as making her choose between her and me. She went off to a poster presentation which I of course showed up to to support her, and she said she wanted to go out for drinks afterwards. When I called her, she said she no longer wanted to go out (her friend had showed up). She eventually decided to head out, but things were really strained between us. She needed to get something from my house, and we had a fight, which resulted in her taking everything she owned and walking away crying. She came to see me when I was standing in the dark, also crying, and asked if this was it. I didnt respond, and simply gave her a hug.

Two days later she calls me and asks if we are still gooing to a halloween party. I say of course, hoping to get things back in shape. She got beligerantly drunk at the party, made out with me asked people for drugs (which she didnt get), and ended up kissing my best friend Mike. She told me she wasnt good for me, and that I was only in love with fragments of her. It really hurt me. Everything went to hell in a hand basket, and we all left the party about 2AM.

The next day she comes over. I had cried all day. I tell her that I think some time off would be good for our relationship. I had been depressed, and she was obviously confused. I figured that things could only get better. She ended up coming over or hanging out with my roommates maybe 3 days during the first week. It was strained, but cordial between us. On friday I even asked her out for sushi, and then we hooked up with some old friends. At about 10 she told me she wanted to meet up with Mike. It hurt me, and I told her, but she said she wanted to, so I let her, thinking it would be beneficial to not be smothering. She had dressed up too, and I still wonder if it was for me or him.

The next week got a little more awkward. She dyed her hair black and never wanted to be around me for more than 10 minutes. She always asked me if I was ok, but never anything else. On thursday the 12th she had her nursing pinning. I got her roses and a card saying congrats, but she didnt even acknowledge them. The next day she left with her friend Sara and Mike to go to a Penn State football game. She hates football.

On monday I got a call asking me to bring a shirt over for her friend Sara. She tells me that she has been thinking and that we should make our time apart permanent. In my two weeks apart I had fallen all over in Love with her again. I realized my faults, went to the gym, and knew exactly how to right all my wrongs. She told me that she was sorry that she was going to hurt me doing this, and then told me she was going to hurt me again and said she liked my best friend Mike. I told her that I have loved her every second since I first said "I Love you", and always would. She said maybe this is the biggest mistake of her life, and I told her "yes, it is" and then walked out. I called Mike and told him what a worthless friend he was, and to get aids and die. I can never be friends with him again.

I dont want to leave her behind. She had told me weeks prior that she couldnt believe she would be a nurse practitioner in two years and have peoples lives in her hands. She said she wanted to do something really stupid. We had been looking at rings, and I planned to propose to her this coming June. I Love her, and the hole in my life gets bigger by the day. She puts up facebook posts about how happy she is, and how Mike is over spending time with her, so I unfriended her as not to let her get to me. But now I feel hopeless. I have no reason to live. All I want is her back, to feel her embrace, to see her smile. Is it over? Am I being foolish thinking she will call me next week saying what a mistake it was? I am willing to forgive despite all advice given to me. Things will never be the same, maybe better, maybe worse, but I am positive there is the same girl there I love who is sick, or confused, or stressed out about life. Help me. I am seeing a therapist monday, but I am not even sure if that will help. She was my heart and soul. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up columbia http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210488 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210487&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:51:35 GMT So my girlfriend broke up with me..no need to get into specifics but she told me she has feelings still but doesnt think we are right for eachother... So my girlfriend broke up with me..no need to get into specifics but she told me she has feelings still but doesnt think we are right for eachother right now...she said she doesnt know what she wants. She was very hot and cold with me with texts/call etc and I very much am still in love with her - so at the recommendation of this board I initiated NC i told her that when she figures out what she wants to talk to me and that I cannot continue to put myself out there and get hurt and that I will not be talking to her and she should not talk to me. So I started this last Thursday. On saturday night she sent me a simple text saying hello at about 2 am. I ignored this. On monday she messaged me online saying hello and asking how I was doing, then she said it was very awkward and that she misses talking to me and how its so hard for her to not talk to her best friend etc. I replied that she broke up with me and this is how it has got to be, Its going to be hard but its the right thing to do. So she has not contacted me since and I have not contacted her. Im having a hard time with this I just cant keep my mind off of her. I go out and I have fun and I am trying to talk to and meet new girls but I feel like my heart just isnt into it. I guess I dont really have a question haha I think I just needed to vent a bit ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up greenbean http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210487 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210484&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:21:09 GMT First off I'd like to say Hi to everyone here at LS and glad to be here!

Now for my relationship story in a nutshell. My girlfriend and I met 6 years ago during our college days and after two years, we started a platonic romance. A year later, we became a full-fledged couple. This year we had started making plans to get married, but those plans folded due to my getting laid off and the subsequent loss of money. Needless to say, it's been a rough year for us and we had quite a few arguments this year....largely due to the failed marriage plans and pressure from her family to get married.

Last week, we had a major blow up over what turned out to be a stupid misunderstanding and it seemed to drive my g/f into this state of not just being angry at me, but full-blown fury. I hadn't seen anything like it before as long as I've known her. Over the weekend, she finally called to say that she thought it best if we break up and just be friends. She said she had so much pain in her life right now that she just couldn't handle any more stress from our relationship and she'd just rather be single right now. We both agreed to NC and to give our friendship a go once we both had clear hearts and minds.

Well, two days later, she came to see me. She said she couldn't do NC because she had missed me so much over the past couple of days and couldn't stop crying. We talked for several hours about what went wrong in our relationship and how to fix it so we could have a better relationship. I also told her if she wanted to give it another go I'd be willing to try. However, she said that was out of the question b/c she needed time and space and that love is just too painful for her. We continued to talk and the conversation got VERY intimate. We talked about some of our own personal thoughts and feelings we never really talked about when we were together. It was at this point when she started sobbing and said "If you want to know why I can't be with you, it's because I'm a fat, bloated, ugly pig with a bad temper! Sooner or later you won't love me anymore and you'll leave me for another woman!" She then said that she had to "protect me from herself" by breaking up since she would hurt me with her temper and if I left her, it would kill her. This is strange since she has seemingly never had a problem with her temper before.

Well as of Wednesday, we started seeing each other again as normal, but we tried to keep things as friendly as possible at first. She still insists we have to focus on being friends and not risk falling back into love for all the reasons above. However, over the past couple of days, we've both started hugging and kissing again and exchanging "I love yous." As for me, I've tried playing it cool as much as I can, but it hasn't been easy. I've also talked about NC again, but she said I'm the love of her life and she needs to be with me. Of course I've also tried to do whatever I can to get her to get the help she needs and to address some of these issues. However, she's not always willing to admit there is anything wrong nor will she listen to any advice from me or anyone else.

Last night, she told me that she may not be up for another relationship again with me or anyone else since I'm the only man she wants, noone else would come close to me, and that she's "too cold-hearted to be in a relationship." She then asked if I'd be willing to do the same as her. That is, give up any future relationships and focus on her and our platonic friendship. I just said that I couldn't make any promises I can't keep. What I said clearly made her upset and she still seemed upset when I talked to her this morning.

Right now I'm just grasping at straws. Obviously her depression is getting the best of her and she does need to be single (or at least w/o the pressure of our relationship hanging over her head) so she can get help....which she hasn't done thus far. OTOH, it seems that despite all the talk about being platonic friends, the relationship we had is still alive and well, but out there somewhere.

My question is this: Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? I obviously need to be there for her however she'll let me be, but it's hard since we've officially broken up and I'm still trying to cope with my own feelings from that. It's been tough to set my own hurt aside and try to understand and be there for her. It's strange since she's always been one of the happiest and most understanding people I've known, even when she's at her saddest. I guess it happens to the best of us sometimes.....

Thanks for giving an eye and an ear guys and for all the advice. Hope my story wasn't too long! ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up blackbear_703 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210484 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210477&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:54:23 GMT Ok, I'm on week 3 of NC. Last night I'm going through my files and I came across a picture of my ex and I. This is the only thing I have from our relationship. I had deleted her # from my phone, wrote it on the back of this picture and threw it in the filing cabinet. Well I broke NC and sent her a text, "I miss your smile". There was no response but I honestly feel pretty good. I didn't feel as if I let myself down. I didn't feel like I had just messed up. I truley felt that I was just thinking out loud, per say. I wasn't feeling sad or needy either. Is this part of the process? I believe I'm really on my way. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up ItsAllGoodAgain http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210477 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210446&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:31:29 GMT Ok I have a GF and I am feeling better about myself most days. The pain is slowly going away............but I still think of her constantly...its... Ok I have a GF and I am feeling better about myself most days. The pain is slowly going away............but I still think of her constantly...its driving me nuts and draining me ....I mean I don't think about anything else.....I know I will always love her and miss her.....I just want her out of my mind or to come back....hehe....
any suggestions about personal mind control I feel like I have tried everything..meditation...being a slut....burning her stuff..writing in a journal..make crazy noises when she comes in my mind...slapping myself...
positive affirmations...
is it possible that she does not think of me and I think of her constantly for the last 2 months...
is it just my ego....help.... ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up thegoose http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210446 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210421&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:13:07 GMT I don't want to make this long. I met a guy a year ago we hit it off. I ended up pregnant. So we moved things fast. Moved in together in April. He lost his job. I was off a work due to pregnancy complications. Let alone I was depressed before I met him from a previous relaitonship. I had a hard time letting him get to know me and became a bitch. He lost interedt with my behavour long before we moved in.

We had a still born two months ago this weekend. It has not helped with my depression and has made me emotionally unstable. We had good times but there were bad times. We had a fight two weeks ago and I took some of my stuff from his house. I don't understand if he is being just nice but he know answers my calls and he never has before. I have showed how strong I am by not constantly texting or calling him. Went out and had a good time. we live in a small towm. This past weekend he knew I was out by seeing my car and kept drving past the place I was not sure if he wanted to get a reaction or not. His friends asked where he was and I said you didn't hear.

I will usually tell people when i dump someone he is not braggin about it around town. I am not talking bad about him. I guess we don't want ot burn bridges. I am confused why we are so civil with each other after everything and that he takes my calls and we don't bring up what happened. In a fight he tod me even when I am not depressed he wil never want to get to know me. Is this connection with the baby just that strong that we are being civil and conversating a little when we see each other. We don't blame each other for our chid death. We talked on the phone and he didn't even bring up when I am getting the rest of my furniture. Which i thought he would. I want to work on myself but he was very good to me and I want him to know me even as a friend. can it happen? Is the baby connection what is keeping us civil right now? ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up Emilyifd39 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210421 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210411&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:06:34 GMT So its only been 4 days ( nothing i know) and this forum has kept me sane , so first off id like to thank all of you who have the courage to post... So its only been 4 days ( nothing i know) and this forum has kept me sane , so first off id like to thank all of you who have the courage to post here, you all have my respect.

like i said only four days since my Year and a few months relationship ended.. tonight i just about lost myself...i was making her favorite dish..not to remind myself, but to feed my parents... and in the middle of eating it(shepherd's pie) i broke down and cried all over my dish, First time ive really cried since we ended it...i felt so childish, lame..and like a loser.. But it felt so good to just cry and cry and cry....

Is this normal...like the delay in emotion? The never ending fountain of sadness that are my tears? ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up User320 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210411 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210406&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:25:12 GMT break the NC rule and my ex and I reconnect and the destruction starts all over within a week or two. I'm on my third month and I'm itching to call him and say "hey" - I know it sounds pretty pathetic but for 4 years we were best friends. I know I don't have to stress that to anyone in here, we're all in similar situations one way or another.

what I'm posting for is I'd love to talk to someone in here, maybe on AIM or something? The last thing I want to do is contact him, and I feel like if I have someone to talk to about it - I'll lessen my chances. I have plenty of friends, supportive parents/siblings - but the hatred they have for my ex makes them dismissive about the subject. If anyone wants to talk, IM me at cmspirito - or just reply to this thread. I'll be around trying to resist charging my cell phone so I can call him.

I'm a great listener and I love dispensing advice, as well. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up indriyani http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210406 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210387&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:26:18 GMT I broke down and checked her online photo album and facebook...

No pics of BF.. Her photo album still has all our pics up there.

It's been over 2 months of NC either way since break.

She wanted to get married up until 3 weeks before break.

Tempted to break NC and try and talk to her, think I'm ready to marry her, but I don't wanna shoot myself in the foot. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up Weezy http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210387 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210386&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:22:55 GMT JUst checked his facebook and saw that his car broke down and he is stranded in a town somewhere for the night. I just want to reach out to him... JUst checked his facebook and saw that his car broke down and he is stranded in a town somewhere for the night.

I just want to reach out to him and talk to him.

I hate that he is even on a car journey that I knew nothing about.

(20 days NC)

I just miss my boy... ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up TapiocaDexterin http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210386 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210376&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:23:12 GMT I was reading this article which made somethings more clear for me. I recommend you read it also =]

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex...entid=22503074 ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up NoneoftheAbove http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210376 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210338&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:36:19 GMT Hey all, sorry if this ends up being long :eek: My ex broke it off almost 2 months ago, after being together for roughly 6-8 months. I said a few... Hey all, sorry if this ends up being long :eek:

My ex broke it off almost 2 months ago, after being together for roughly 6-8 months. I said a few things i shouldn't have, and blew up a little, not terribly though, there was no namecalling or anything. We spoke a week after, in which i proceeded to tell her how much i wanted her, i think we can make it work etc etc. She was very nice, and listened to everything i had to say. Her tune of the break up went from at first I dont have the energy to do a relationship, then to i didnt really felt like you cared about us that much, to did you ever see a future with us, to finally she just said I dont have feelings for you anymore. I was a little devastated, because this 180 happened within like 3 days. She was extremely affectionate several days prior.

So i went NC for a couple of weeks, tried to call her, no answer, so i sent her an email, because i wanted to let her know it was wrong of me to act the way i did, i said some things i should not have said and that i regret saying them, and that with a little retrospect i understand why she felt i did not care that much about us, I hate that i made her feel that way, and i have accepted the fact we are not together. And i wished her well. No reply.

We work together, so I am in her office off and on, and it seems like everytime I am, she walks by my cubicle when that is not her normal way to go some places. She seems to linger around talking to people if I am up talking to people. Once we rounded a corner on each other, and she looked down and her face turned beet red. This continued on for the next few weeks i was there, i sent her a funny work email once with no response. But it seems she walks by very often only when she thinks i am not looking, and indirectly tries to get me to notice her, she will not directly come into the area am facing though. The other day we left work at the same time, she seemed to be aggresivly changing lanes and keeping my speed to stay behind me, the whole while she was texting and putting on her face in the mirror. Because if she is behind me on my way home, she knows that i know she is not going home.
It just feels like she is trying for some reason to get my attention. She has had some family medicall issues, so i sent her a text asking if everything was ok over a week ago, with no response. That was the last time i had contacted her before a few days ago when I called to find my number blocked, and also my work phone blocked??? It wasn't blocked a few weeks ago, so i don't understand the sudden anger? It feels like she is demonizing me. But everytime i am in the office, i feel like she is trying to get my attention. She was extremely nice after the breakup, but then after going NC/LC for a bit, its like she started demonizing me when she started to see my around the office (Im not at that office all the time) She purposely laughs a lot and acts jovial when I'm in area and she is talking to other people.
But she straight ignores me? Also, it seems like when she knows I'm going to be there for a stretch of a few days, she will dress up a little extra, do her hair extra nice, which she usually never did at work. Usually the first day I am there she dressed normal, then for the next few days, she is spruced up. I'm confused as to where the demonizing comes from all of a sudden? When it wasn't there before? She probably has my personal email blocked as well, I don't even know if she got my apology email or not. Or my texts asking about her family's situation (I know all about it over the last 6 months) she even made herself not even searchable on Facebook after she took me off. She has no reason to hate me, so it's making me very confused. She has taken every step to completely make it impossible to contact her. So then why the cat and mouse attention game only to find out that my numbers are blocked?

I feel so rejected, but somehow i can't fight the feeling she is making herself hate me because she still has feelings for me. If she really just didn't care about me anymore and was indifferent about it all, it seems all this stuff is a little overboard.

What do you guys think? Thanks for any advice, I browsed this forum a lot before posting, and I think there is a lot of experienced advice here. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up dietpepsi http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210338 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210319&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:18:10 GMT said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for... said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for letting what happend happen, and said he didnt want to be a bother. i have been on NC with him now for about seven weeks... what do you think his goals are, is he tyring to work things out with me..should i answer, should i wait till he sends a more specific email..I may be interestead in working something out with him sometime i just need to know when is a good time to respong. what is eveyones thoughts on this? ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up Confused728 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210319 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210288&goto=newpost Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:39:49 GMT So I broke up with my gf b/c she wasn't fulfilling my needs. She wanted to remain friends & I refused at first, then changed my mind thinking that I could handle it. Since then, we've had no physical interaction & only a few phone convos, but we've texted maybe once a week with a few brief exchanges.

One thing I've noticed, though, is that it's always me initiating the texting & her replies seem to mirror the format of my texts to her. For example, if I start off saying "hey..." then she starts off saying "hey...", if I use a particular smiley then she'll end up using the same smiley, she uses the same words I use and in similar contexts.

Does anyone have any idea if this means anything? ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up bayouboi http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210288