http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ LoveShack.org is a community featuring dating advice and tips, articles, and discussion forums to help you improve and understand your relationships and other interpersonal issues. en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:45:35 GMT vBulletin 15 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/misc/rss.jpg http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210499&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:40:43 GMT I have a problem with relationships - they always cause me varying degrees of anxiety, sometimes overwhelming and seemingly permanent. Sooner or... I have a problem with relationships - they always cause me varying degrees of anxiety, sometimes overwhelming and seemingly permanent. Sooner or later it gets too much and I have to end it.

Curiously, 'staying friends' afterwards can cause me just as much if not more anxiety.

It feel like I am doomed to be alone unless I can ovecome this. I should add that I am not in good health anyway (I have a sleep disorder and chronic fatigue) and am prone to anxiety anyway, not just about relationships.

I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this and how they cope. ]]> Coping Teuto http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210499 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210498&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:38:37 GMT where can i meet older women ive always been attracted to them even before i knew the terms cougar or milf. so its not just a fantasy ive always... where can i meet older women ive always been attracted to them even before i knew the terms cougar or milf. so its not just a fantasy ive always thought they were more beautiful and sexy since i was a kid. any recommendations or advice would be great. ]]> Dating curios http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210498 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210497&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:12:35 GMT hi all.... my g/f of 4 1/2 yrs told me bout 2 weeks ago she wanted 2 take a break for maybe 6 months...her and i got together while she was going... hi all....
my g/f of 4 1/2 yrs told me bout 2 weeks ago she wanted 2 take a break for maybe 6 months...her and i got together while she was going thru a divorce...( bout 6 months into a yr. long divorce)...things were great 4 the first 2 yrs or so...but since she has been running herself ragged...she has gained 40 lbs and is miserable bout her weight...she holds alot of guilt towards her kids (she thinks she ruined their lives due 2 the divorce) she has 2 young boys (6-7) who have started soccer...karate...tiger/cub scouts in the last yr and a half or so...she goes 2 all their events...and cannot take me cause her divorce agreement...she works a full time job (1 hr commute 1 way) and when she has her kids she has 2 drop them off @ exs sisters house so she can get them off 2 school..(her and ex each get kids 4 half the week)..so that adds bout a xtra half hr 2 her driving time...we maintain seperate households...also due 2 her divorce agreement...(shes been divorced twice...divorce agree says we cannot live 2gether unless we r married.... and shes not sure if she ever want 2 be married again)...she is always busy shopping...cleaning...doing laundry ect...she has had less and less time 4 me...and for herself...even tho we spent time w each other whenever we could...i have been getting less and less time 2 spend with her......my question is...does this kinda break mean she want it 2 be over??? she says she loves me with all her heart and does not want 2 hurt me...but she feels she has 2 do this to get her head straight...says she is physcially and mentaly exausted and just dont have the time 2 dedicate 2 our relationship rite now...we tried a break before but she called me everyday... and after a week she initiated a meeting... and we just fell back into our old routine...
but this time she says she wants nc because she dont want any outside influence while she is gettin herself 2gether...told me she will contact me when she gets her head straight...she dont know how long it will be...but she is seeing a therapist....says she loves me and dont want 2 hurt me/lose me... but she NEEDS 2 do this!!! and she dont want me 2 put my life on hold cause that wouldnt be fair 2 me....we have had a very good relationship...even thru the rougher times...we rarely fight and we get those resolved quickly...always been tons of love and togetherness there....but seems different this time... do u think there could b some1 else???? do u think she truly needs the time 2 sort out her issues??? or is she just trying 2 end it and hope i will just go away??? a womans opinion would be great!!!! ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up clingymon http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210497 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210494&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:04:55 GMT :(

OK - before we get to the answer lets get a bit of background to explain why I am asking

I'm 46, Australian - OK looking (reasonable physique, average height but bald). I have been married since I was 25 and after our first child my wife left with the child to take up with an old flame in another country. I chased after to get access to my child and after a year or 2 we were back together. Things weren't great, but they weren't bad. We would be intimate a few times a year - but not much more - and before you ask I am pretty sure (99%) that there is no-one else.

This was my first real relationship and I didn't want to give it up - but after a long while I've now concluded that maybe we are both just kidding ourseleves. I want a close loving relationship - with the spark that was there when we first met and I think she does to - unfortunatelly for both of us the other doesn't give the spark.

So at 46 I am now thinking is there really someone out there for everyone?

That one spark where you do feel that this person is right, and that spark which continues on through the years. I know there will be ups and downs - but that someone right would ensure that there are more ups than downs and that at the end of our days we look back and can say - yes we were right together.

So if you've found that someone right for you - let me know, it will re-enforce the hope that there is someone right for me

If you've not found someone just right - but been able to rekindle a long lost relationship - let me know, maybe it will make me realise that what I have is worth the effort and I should go for it and get back that spark

Or if you've not managed to find that right person and like me your sitting in front of a PC or a TV alone with a glass of wine, whisky, port, beer or some other mind altering drug - let me know, maybe it will make me re-think life and realise what the hell - its just life - enjoy the moment, what you have or who your with because there's not much more.

Its a bit of philosophy - but its a serious question. Please be honest - I have been - as your responses will help me work out where to go next. ]]> Dating Joefromoz http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210494 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210493&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:56:11 GMT Its been 4 months since I last saw the love of my life. We never were committed and lets face it, 4 months is a long time, so i feel like I... Its been 4 months since I last saw the love of my life.
We never were committed and lets face it, 4 months is a long time, so i feel like I shouldn't still think about him all the time. But I can't feel even remotely attracted to anyone else, I think about him all day long and compare EVERYONE I meet to him and they fall tragically short in just about every aspect.
Help me. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO JUST MOVE ON WITH IT!??
And how often do people meet people who are "perfect" to them? First one in my life, wondering how often other people experience this type of attraction. ]]> Coping artchick88 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210493 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210492&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:52:07 GMT I am hoping some on this board can lend some insight to this problem From the day she was born my GF was the prime care giver for her... I am hoping some on this board can lend some insight to this problem

From the day she was born my GF was the prime care giver for her Grandaughter (GD). The child's mother is the demon druggie daughter (ddd) of my GF. The ddd was totally into drugs, partying etc, The ddd has hardly worked a day in her life, and got by on dealing drugs, prostituting and manipulating. She even had the state supplying her drugs. The ddd saw the GD simply as her meal ticket: welfare, food stamps. And being the birth mother knew all of her rights. We, the family and others saw the abuse and repeatedly tried to report the ddd to Child Welfare Services (CWS) We know that from about age 5 on the GD witnessed the ddd (she is bi) having sex numerous times. The ddd would then whip the GD. When CWS finally began to ask some questions, the ddd counter attacked and began accusing all she could think of as being child abusers and child molesters. The list is long, neighbors, boyfriends, ddd got mad at one of her girl friends and accused her 8 year old son, the ddd's father, the other grand parents, and my GF and I. Sadly CWS believed the ddd and never listened to anybody else. They shut us out completely and even refused to take reports from us. Even though we had inciminating police reports (note plural) of the ddd pulling a gun and threatening to kill everybody including the GD. There was even a drug deal that went bad with shots fired in the presence of the GD. Yes we kept a log and can document a lot of what went down.

Eighteen months ago the truth came out, the ddd had been molested by the step grand father from age 10 - 12 in the most terrible way. He got a life time sentence. And the ddd and her BF were also molesting the GD. Their case is still in the courts system, though the BF has plead guilty.

CWS has totally shut off all of the family from the GD and is trying to adopt her out. At first the GD's father, who is fighting for custody was allowed a few visits, so we know a few bits and pieces of what's been going down. CWS has contracted a child psychologist (CP) to work with the GD. But the CP is only getting her facts from CWS. For example they have told the CP that the GD's family consists of only my GF and another set of grand parents. And that we are all child molesters and have abandoned the child. The CP does not know that the GD's family also includes two living great grand parents, 3 great aunts, 2 great uncles and about a dozen cousins.

In about three and half years the GD will be free to contact us again. We know one of her first acts after being taken by CWS was to run away and try to contact my GF, her grandmother. She got caught and was threatened to being sent to juvenile prison if she tried to contact her grand mother again. She was only 12 at that time.

Question: What is going to happen to the GD's psyche when she finds out all the BS that she has been fed of the past 6 years is a lie. What kind of emotions is she going to experience when she finds out that she is not an abandoned child, and that it was CWS has put her in a prison from those who really loved and cared for her? What is she going to experience when she finds out that her great grand parents, whom she spent her first 10 Christmas's with have only just passed away in the past couple of years? I could go on but I think I have made my point. ]]> Abuse 2.50 a gallon http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210492 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210491&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:32:00 GMT My husband and I married in May, we lived together after that for three months and he then decided he wanted a divorce (this was in September). I... My husband and I married in May, we lived together after that for three months and he then decided he wanted a divorce (this was in September). I was on Yaz birth control and it made me depressed, no sex drive, and I just wasn't myself. Right before he left I went to the doctor and asked her to change it because of the side effects. She did so, and I felt so much better, but by that time he had already left.

My husband was always very sweet to me, I am 33, he is 28 and we don't have any kids and this is our first marriage. My husband was the type of man that would cook dinner, clean the house, leave love notes around the house, and would send me text messages telling me to have a great day.

He says he wants a divorce because he says I was "mean". I would lose my temper when we would argue. He has a best friend (male) who would always talk bad about me. My husband refused to tell his friend to respect me. I even talked to the friend on one occasion and asked him to just respect me as my husband's wife. The friend told me "no". He said he had too many "issues" with me to respect me. My husband told me his friend "doesn't have to respect you." He has also told me that since me and the best friend can't get along we might as well divorce! I have to say I have always respected the friend, and I have even invited him into my home, knowing how bad he talks about me.

I made my mistakes in the marriage, I realize this. I wish I could go back in time and appreciate him more, and show more love and affection But, I was also pulling the weight of the household bills (husband moved in with me), and I tried to make my husband's life as easy as possible (even hiring someone to cut the grass and I was working my second job when he was out on his boat after he finished work).

My husband purchased online divorce papers and will not file them. I told him I was getting an attorney and he gets mad at me. When I ask him if we can work things out he says "not anytime soon." He has since moved back into his home (he had it up for sale when we were together). When I told him I was taking him off as my beneficery he acted surprised. I asked him if he wants me to file and he said "if you want to." I asked him today if he misses me and he said "of course." I have to say I love my husband with all my heart and I don't want a divorce. I am almost positive there is no other woman.

I must also add that I haven't given him much space since the seperation. I text him almost daily, and he text me back. If I am talking about anything but us he seems engaged in the conversation, but if I mention missing him, etc then he shuts down.... How long should I give it before I file? Like I said, I really don't want a divorce at all. But, I don't want to put my life on hold for someone who no longer wants me. How can I tell if he has his mind made up or if he just needs some time without me? ]]> Separation and Divorce loca http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210491 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210489&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:20:49 GMT Going to go meet ex half way in a little while to bring my son's home for the THanksgiving week! It's so exciting but I get so happy and yet so angry at the same time! Excited to see them, angry it has to be like this..and the fact that he can't make the trip alone, he has to bring his momma or the girlfriend both make me want to vomit! Such is the life of co-parenting/custody/ex stuff!

Can't let go of a lot of resentment towards them. But I won't show it, won't let my kids know. I'm going to smile, be joyous and focus on THEM! but I cant help to go back to "hating" my ex, his momma and the gf and dwelling on all the crap they say/do.

I hardly ever go online when my kids are here with us.

Anyway, have a great turkeyday all of you great parents!! ]]> Parenting wife http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210489 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210488&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:17:37 GMT My girlfriend of 3.5 years left me on monday for my best friend, and since then I have been an emotional wreck. We started dating when she was 19... My girlfriend of 3.5 years left me on monday for my best friend, and since then I have been an emotional wreck.

We started dating when she was 19 and I was 18. She is almost 23 and I am 22. We both went to school together, but she was a year ahead of me, so when she graduated we alternated weekends visiting each other. Things had been going great until recently. She would come into bed later and ask if things were working out. I was usually asleep, but I would always hear the words when I awoke the next day.

Three weeks ago we had a fight when I wasn't feeling the best after coming home from work. When she asked me how I was I said fine but tired. She asked me to come keep her company in the shower while she was bathing, and I went in and we talked. She said something was wrong, and I needed to tell her what was on my mind. I didnt want to, but I had told her that I felt that her friend Sara, who was spending upwards of 5 nights a week at her house while going to school, was really straining our relationship, as though she was driving a spike between us. I said I wanted to spend more time with her and not her friend, but she interpreted that as making her choose between her and me. She went off to a poster presentation which I of course showed up to to support her, and she said she wanted to go out for drinks afterwards. When I called her, she said she no longer wanted to go out (her friend had showed up). She eventually decided to head out, but things were really strained between us. She needed to get something from my house, and we had a fight, which resulted in her taking everything she owned and walking away crying. She came to see me when I was standing in the dark, also crying, and asked if this was it. I didnt respond, and simply gave her a hug.

Two days later she calls me and asks if we are still gooing to a halloween party. I say of course, hoping to get things back in shape. She got beligerantly drunk at the party, made out with me asked people for drugs (which she didnt get), and ended up kissing my best friend Mike. She told me she wasnt good for me, and that I was only in love with fragments of her. It really hurt me. Everything went to hell in a hand basket, and we all left the party about 2AM.

The next day she comes over. I had cried all day. I tell her that I think some time off would be good for our relationship. I had been depressed, and she was obviously confused. I figured that things could only get better. She ended up coming over or hanging out with my roommates maybe 3 days during the first week. It was strained, but cordial between us. On friday I even asked her out for sushi, and then we hooked up with some old friends. At about 10 she told me she wanted to meet up with Mike. It hurt me, and I told her, but she said she wanted to, so I let her, thinking it would be beneficial to not be smothering. She had dressed up too, and I still wonder if it was for me or him.

The next week got a little more awkward. She dyed her hair black and never wanted to be around me for more than 10 minutes. She always asked me if I was ok, but never anything else. On thursday the 12th she had her nursing pinning. I got her roses and a card saying congrats, but she didnt even acknowledge them. The next day she left with her friend Sara and Mike to go to a Penn State football game. She hates football.

On monday I got a call asking me to bring a shirt over for her friend Sara. She tells me that she has been thinking and that we should make our time apart permanent. In my two weeks apart I had fallen all over in Love with her again. I realized my faults, went to the gym, and knew exactly how to right all my wrongs. She told me that she was sorry that she was going to hurt me doing this, and then told me she was going to hurt me again and said she liked my best friend Mike. I told her that I have loved her every second since I first said "I Love you", and always would. She said maybe this is the biggest mistake of her life, and I told her "yes, it is" and then walked out. I called Mike and told him what a worthless friend he was, and to get aids and die. I can never be friends with him again.

I dont want to leave her behind. She had told me weeks prior that she couldnt believe she would be a nurse practitioner in two years and have peoples lives in her hands. She said she wanted to do something really stupid. We had been looking at rings, and I planned to propose to her this coming June. I Love her, and the hole in my life gets bigger by the day. She puts up facebook posts about how happy she is, and how Mike is over spending time with her, so I unfriended her as not to let her get to me. But now I feel hopeless. I have no reason to live. All I want is her back, to feel her embrace, to see her smile. Is it over? Am I being foolish thinking she will call me next week saying what a mistake it was? I am willing to forgive despite all advice given to me. Things will never be the same, maybe better, maybe worse, but I am positive there is the same girl there I love who is sick, or confused, or stressed out about life. Help me. I am seeing a therapist monday, but I am not even sure if that will help. She was my heart and soul. ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up columbia http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210488 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210487&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:51:35 GMT So my girlfriend broke up with me..no need to get into specifics but she told me she has feelings still but doesnt think we are right for eachother... So my girlfriend broke up with me..no need to get into specifics but she told me she has feelings still but doesnt think we are right for eachother right now...she said she doesnt know what she wants. She was very hot and cold with me with texts/call etc and I very much am still in love with her - so at the recommendation of this board I initiated NC i told her that when she figures out what she wants to talk to me and that I cannot continue to put myself out there and get hurt and that I will not be talking to her and she should not talk to me. So I started this last Thursday. On saturday night she sent me a simple text saying hello at about 2 am. I ignored this. On monday she messaged me online saying hello and asking how I was doing, then she said it was very awkward and that she misses talking to me and how its so hard for her to not talk to her best friend etc. I replied that she broke up with me and this is how it has got to be, Its going to be hard but its the right thing to do. So she has not contacted me since and I have not contacted her. Im having a hard time with this I just cant keep my mind off of her. I go out and I have fun and I am trying to talk to and meet new girls but I feel like my heart just isnt into it. I guess I dont really have a question haha I think I just needed to vent a bit ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up greenbean http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210487 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210486&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:48:17 GMT Hey LS folk, I know i have been all over this forum as of late but thigns just keep happening good/bad... Short story: dated 2 years in uni.... Hey LS folk,

I know i have been all over this forum as of late but thigns just keep happening good/bad...

Short story: dated 2 years in uni. broke up with me citing needing to be alone... 2 1/2 since break-up WAS 41 NC still kinda am (in my books)

I was devestated and even walked home at 3:30 am last night crying about what i do not know hahaha.....

So my ex called me this week left a msg, saying it was okay if i didn't call back ugh...

Also found out she is in a relationship, hence was hurt these past couple of days..

Just bumped into her while i was chatting with her room-mate (as i said things just keep happening)... we were walking up stairs and just said hi and kept going ... i had to go back down to use the atm and she was in front of me so i kinda had to talk...

I was a little nervous not too bad...I just gave small talk about nothing really and then we parted ways...

I didn't feel sad really just a little nervous thats all... i have been obsessing about her recently and didn't really care when i saw her...

Am i actually over her? ]]> Coping novack http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210486 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210485&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:34:08 GMT Hi Guys I was on another forum and I came across this link a website that has cute/romantic/funny couple gifts. http://boldloft.com/osc/index.php ... Hi Guys I was on another forum and I came across this link a website that has cute/romantic/funny couple gifts. http://boldloft.com/osc/index.php

There are some really cute longdistance love/christmas gifts, and lots of other unique stuff. I know sometimes it is hard to know what to send our partners.

I hope this is useful for you too :) ]]> Long-Distance Relationships http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210485 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210484&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:21:09 GMT First off I'd like to say Hi to everyone here at LS and glad to be here!

Now for my relationship story in a nutshell. My girlfriend and I met 6 years ago during our college days and after two years, we started a platonic romance. A year later, we became a full-fledged couple. This year we had started making plans to get married, but those plans folded due to my getting laid off and the subsequent loss of money. Needless to say, it's been a rough year for us and we had quite a few arguments this year....largely due to the failed marriage plans and pressure from her family to get married.

Last week, we had a major blow up over what turned out to be a stupid misunderstanding and it seemed to drive my g/f into this state of not just being angry at me, but full-blown fury. I hadn't seen anything like it before as long as I've known her. Over the weekend, she finally called to say that she thought it best if we break up and just be friends. She said she had so much pain in her life right now that she just couldn't handle any more stress from our relationship and she'd just rather be single right now. We both agreed to NC and to give our friendship a go once we both had clear hearts and minds.

Well, two days later, she came to see me. She said she couldn't do NC because she had missed me so much over the past couple of days and couldn't stop crying. We talked for several hours about what went wrong in our relationship and how to fix it so we could have a better relationship. I also told her if she wanted to give it another go I'd be willing to try. However, she said that was out of the question b/c she needed time and space and that love is just too painful for her. We continued to talk and the conversation got VERY intimate. We talked about some of our own personal thoughts and feelings we never really talked about when we were together. It was at this point when she started sobbing and said "If you want to know why I can't be with you, it's because I'm a fat, bloated, ugly pig with a bad temper! Sooner or later you won't love me anymore and you'll leave me for another woman!" She then said that she had to "protect me from herself" by breaking up since she would hurt me with her temper and if I left her, it would kill her. This is strange since she has seemingly never had a problem with her temper before.

Well as of Wednesday, we started seeing each other again as normal, but we tried to keep things as friendly as possible at first. She still insists we have to focus on being friends and not risk falling back into love for all the reasons above. However, over the past couple of days, we've both started hugging and kissing again and exchanging "I love yous." As for me, I've tried playing it cool as much as I can, but it hasn't been easy. I've also talked about NC again, but she said I'm the love of her life and she needs to be with me. Of course I've also tried to do whatever I can to get her to get the help she needs and to address some of these issues. However, she's not always willing to admit there is anything wrong nor will she listen to any advice from me or anyone else.

Last night, she told me that she may not be up for another relationship again with me or anyone else since I'm the only man she wants, noone else would come close to me, and that she's "too cold-hearted to be in a relationship." She then asked if I'd be willing to do the same as her. That is, give up any future relationships and focus on her and our platonic friendship. I just said that I couldn't make any promises I can't keep. What I said clearly made her upset and she still seemed upset when I talked to her this morning.

Right now I'm just grasping at straws. Obviously her depression is getting the best of her and she does need to be single (or at least w/o the pressure of our relationship hanging over her head) so she can get help....which she hasn't done thus far. OTOH, it seems that despite all the talk about being platonic friends, the relationship we had is still alive and well, but out there somewhere.

My question is this: Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? I obviously need to be there for her however she'll let me be, but it's hard since we've officially broken up and I'm still trying to cope with my own feelings from that. It's been tough to set my own hurt aside and try to understand and be there for her. It's strange since she's always been one of the happiest and most understanding people I've known, even when she's at her saddest. I guess it happens to the best of us sometimes.....

Thanks for giving an eye and an ear guys and for all the advice. Hope my story wasn't too long! ]]> Breaks and Breaking Up blackbear_703 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210484 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210483&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:20:36 GMT Sorry if this is juvenile but I've been out of the dating game for a while and am unsure of myself.
I was out with some friends last week and one of the guys I was with ended up kissing me. I saw him a couple times after this and we both acted like it hadn't happened.
He messaged me the other day and asked if I had plans for Friday and if I wanted to do something with him. I said ok, what would you like to do? He said "I don't care, I just want to hang out with you". I assumed we would just be going out for a beer or something casual but then he sent me a message yesterday saying he had made reservations for us at this restaurant which I know is really expensive.
Now I don't know if we are just hanging out or if this is an actual date and I don't want to ask because I'll look like an idiot.
What do you guys think? ]]> Dating sweet_peach115 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210483 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210480&goto=newpost Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:12:34 GMT I have a crazy neighbour who shouts and swears at people. He's been ok to me and my family mostly, but lately in the last last few weeks he's started 'targetting' my youngest son who is 9.

He shouted and swore at him a few weeks ago and called him a 'little pri**k', then a few days ago he jabbed him in the chest and called him a f'ing little liar. Basically my son doesnt want to play with his kid - hardly surprising, he's just like Pa.....The son who is 6, then came to my house knocking on the door and running away all last evening

So, last night I went round there to tell him and his wife that their kid is doing this, and also if they have a problem with my son, they need to talk to me 1st and stop yelling and swearing at him. He ended up slamming the door in my face. Today, my son is outside playing and the man came and sat next to him, then said 'don't mind me, you just carry on doing what you're doing'. This is obviously quite scary and intimidating and has freaked me out.

I've had a few offers to 'sort him out' from male friends, but I don't think that would help. I am a single parent and I don't want to get into any ugly situations with this man. He does this to other people too not just us, but everyone sort of ignores it - even the ones with hefty Dads at home.

If I call the police he'll know it was me, and it could make things worse for my son. I don't usually have a problem dealing with stuff, but I don't know what to do about this - any suggestions? ]]> Parenting silverfish http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210480