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SHOULD I give him the money????


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Been a while since I posted. Been married 25 years on Tuesday, separated since February dut to my STBX drinking, lying, etc.......We came up with a settlement agreement and I seen a magistrate on 8/21 and am currently waiting for the papers signed by the judge. One of the things in the agreement was That I would "buy him out" for the home. We refinanced the house and I HAVE the money in a bank account, BUT I was told NOT to give him the money until all is done! He is harrassing me wanting HIS Money! He called 9/1 continously. I told him it is out of my hands.

Those of you wondering, I DID have a lawyer, IF you want to call her that!! EvERY TIME I ever asked her anything "she couldn't answer". (questions related to the quit claim deed, amout I should ask for support, child support, etc..) She didn't even show up for my "meeting with the magistrate!" Her response after she finally called me at 3:30PM after I called her at 9:30AM after the meeting, "a 45 min. drive for a 5 min. meeting, I don't think so". I "hired" her for an uncontested divorce...seems like I did all the work, and she wasn't much use as far as answering my legal questions.........

In fact after the call she wound up hanging up on me after she said "she has bent over backwards for me" and I told her that was NOT true! I did call her Friday, and have not heard back from her I assume because of the holiday weekend. Or maybe, she's not my lawyer any more...........so I have no one to ask for advice on this.......

I UNDERSTAND he NEEDS this money to get on with his life, but he has proven to me over and over he cannot be trusted. CAN HE still do something to "fight" the divorce at this point???? Someone told me, He could take the money, hire a lawyer and stop the divorce. Can he at this point??? He is very angry.........he has signed the quit claim as we expected the divorce to be final 8/21 when I went to court, but this was another mis information on my lawyers office part. I just don't want to be "taken" when it's this close to being over!!

Any insight will be so much appreciated!!! Thanks!

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That's what I was figuring.........except NOW he says he isn't goint to give me any support money UNTIL he gets HIS money, and it's court ordered for him to do so! (He has been putting money weekly into my account). And this past friday he DIDN'T! I KNOW he is doing this because he is PISSED, and am hoping he'll "re-consider" when he calms down..........

Being he signed a settlement agreement saying he would pay support weekly, can he do that??? (NOT pay until it's court ordered???) I was told that could take 6-8weeks before it's taken from his check! Or is he talking about when the judge signs the final paper? That makes it court ordered, right?

God, I'm so confused!!

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Unless there is a kindly lawyer lurking here to answer your questions, I think you need to find a new lawyer. We can speculate like you can, but only a lawyer (or possibly research online, but that's a sketchy proposition, too) can give you absolute facts.

 

If the settlement agreement contains both an agreement for support and an agreement to buy him out of the house, I would think that you could not expect one without the other until a judge has cemented the whole thing. That is, if both pieces of it are at the same level of "legality", you can't expect him to do his part and you not do yours.

 

Having said that, I would still advise you not to make any move to pay him off until you are clear on the ramifications with a lawyer. Like the saying goes, if you don't know what to do, do nothing!!! I believe that if the support agreement is there, but he stops paying in the meantime, that he would end up owing you back support once things are finalized. But again, I am not a lawyer and I am just guessing here.

 

Good luck....

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superconductor
Being he signed a settlement agreement saying he would pay support weekly, can he do that??? (NOT pay until it's court ordered???)

Well, legally he's not supposed to withhold weekly support payments, but the court is not in the business of enforcing that. If he's in breach of contract - and it sure sounds like it - you'll probably need another court order to recommence his support payments, but short of garnisheeing his wages through some sort of legal process, I don't really know if you can do much.

 

I have a friend who's in exactly the same boat. He's been ordered by the court to make payments but he simply refuses to do so, and is milking the system for delay upon delay upon delay... It might catch up with him in the end, but then again, when you're dealing with the courts you really never know the outcome. I wish it was different, but alas, it's not.

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Don't do anything until the order is final.

 

You also need another lawyer. Once the order is final get another lawyer and sue him for the back support. He'll have to pony up.

 

Right now, he's trying to hold you hostage, don't let him.

 

I'd even counsel with a lawyer to see if it would be legal to subtract his support payments from his funds due him. You could pay a consult fee and see one just for that. A consult fee is reasonable.

 

Then, have your child support withdrawn by the court from his paycheck in the future so this doesn't become an issue.

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Thank you all for your replies! I called the court today and they RUSHED the judge signing the fianl paperwork! YEAH! Supposedly they will send it to my lawyer by courier today, and HOPEFULLY i CAN PICK IT UP TOMORROW......... So, then I will have to meet with my "EX" and give him his "payoff", get the quit claim deed, HOPEFULLY he will pay me the money he owes.(it was only 1 week) and my life can go on! So, now with this final paperwork, this IS a court order right?? It IS in the settlement agreement that support will be payroll deducted..but I was told that can take 6-8 weeks.........just want to be sure it will be stipulated that he has to continue to pay as he WAS UNTIL the payroll deduction goes into effect.

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mental_traveller

You've found a bad lawyer - get a new one.

 

Don't give or pay him anything until you get a court order obliging you to. Then, pay as late as you are legally allowed to.

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IS a court order right?? It IS in the settlement agreement that support will be payroll deducted..but I was told that can take 6-8 weeks

 

Follow through by calling his work's payroll clerk. Companies don't like these sort of things. Where I work, more than two in a year can cost you your job. It sets them up as possible defendents in a lawsuit for non-compliance. He won't like your calling ~ but Oh, Well? What's he going to do? Divorce you?

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If you have a signed order from the judge for him to pay child support, you should have a copy of that order. You do have the right to get your file at the court clerk's office and look for the document that says "Support Order". If there is an order, call the District Attorney's office and ask about Child Support enforcement. Where I live, we have the Family Support Registry. They get the order from the judge to take the money from his check. Then his employer sends a check each payday to them and they send you a check. This is my experience. I didn't have to hire an attorney.

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Thanks for your insights! He HAS been putting "support" money in my account every Friday, that is until he got tired of waiting for his money. So it has been just one week that he didn't do that. Our divorce has been uncontested..I guess it just was taking too long for him to get finalized. I SHOULD get the paperwork today, and plan to get with him to do the quit claim deed, give him his money, and HOPEFULLY get that support from last week............We DID have a settlement agreement, so I would THINK he was supposed to continue those payments................He just has an anger problem when things don't go his way! Wish me luck!!!! :rolleyes:

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If it looks like a rat , smells like a rat, then pretty much it is a rat. wait till the divorce is over. call the judge that is over your case and let him know he is bugging you . put a restraint on him where no contact till the divorce is final. you know he waited this long for the money then he can wait just a few mnths longer. you know no days anything is possible and if he does not want the divorce he proble can stop it and then the judge order a mariage coun. to try to work your marrage out. so if I were you, I would not do anything till it was over and I would also get another lawer that says he dont get paid till you get paid and sue the dog mess out of the one that took your money. at least get back what you paid her. anyway hope I helped.:cool:

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RecordProducer

If you were advised to wait until all is done, you can't trust him, and you don't have to give him the money NOW, then ignore his pressure. Don't pick up the phone and tell him "NO, you will not get the money until ______ (whatever is the deadline). Stop bothering me, cuz you will get the same answer every time you speak to me! Good-bye!"

 

Call your lawyer and ask her if she is still your lawyer and why she is acting so irresponsible. Be free to tell her that she hasn't answered your questions and be prepared to ask them again and let her know that you expect answers as soon as she finds out what the answers are, since she obviously isn't competent enough."

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