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Should I feel this way?


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stoopid_guy

First off, our marriage went down the tubes several years ago. Try as I might, we haven't been "intimate" in over eight years. After the first year or two of trying, I got frustrated and simply went emotionally numb in that regard, but stayed because of our daughter. My wife and I are friends now and share a daughter and a home, but nothing more.

 

Last week I was miserable, I wanted more out of life, I wanted the opportunity to pursue romance. Last weekend I decided once and for all to end our marriage. I started planning, "how do I move out and hurt my wife and daughter as little as possible?" What happens money-wise? Health insurance? assets?

 

Anyway, I feel great now! Throughoout this week I find myself smiling more. I'm sleeping fewer hours, but feeling more rested. Part of me says I should feel like crap, but I don't. I started talking to a lawyer, which is never any fun, but otherwise I'm much happier than I feel I should be.

 

Is this normal?

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According to my exh, yes. He went to a therapist and she told him he was perfectly normal.

 

One question, have you really tried everything? Have you tried counselling? If you could have the ideal relationship with your wife, would you still leave? What if the intimacy issues could be resolved?

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You feel good because you see some light at the end of the tunnel finally. Or at least some hope for happiness for yourself.

 

8 years...... I don't know how you did it... or she did it for that matter.

 

what caused this in the first place?

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stoopid_guy

One question, have you really tried everything? Have you tried counselling? If you could have the ideal relationship with your wife, would you still leave? What if the intimacy issues could be resolved?

 

Couldn't convince her to go to counseling. Started when were trying to have a second child, went from making love to "just get it over with" sex. We had three miscariages, and after the last she just gave up. After a while, I just got frustrated trying to convince her otherwise, and eventually just gave up too. I don't think we could ever go back to where we were. We're friends now, hope we can stay that way.

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You haven't had sex in 8 years??

 

No wonder you feel good- you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and probably thinking "I bet it won't be 8 years before I get laid again!"

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stoopid_guy
You haven't had sex in 8 years??

No, but you know what I miss most? Cuddling, smooching, just holding another in my arms and knowing they care. Don't get me wrong, sex is wonderful, but it's really just friction. The affection and attention of another is what makes life great. And knowing I'll never feel that as long as we're together is why I have to leave.

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No, but you know what I miss most? Cuddling, smooching, just holding another in my arms and knowing they care. Don't get me wrong, sex is wonderful, but it's really just friction. The affection and attention of another is what makes life great. And knowing I'll never feel that as long as we're together is why I have to leave.

My feeling exactly! The act of sex itself is a wonderful thing, but its the intamacy, the warmth of your love next to you. I almost think the anticipation is sometimes better than the act itself. Knowing that someone is willing to give themselves to you....now that's a good thing in my eyes.

I gotta tell ya guy, if its just friends and you know that's its been over, you are readier than you think you are. The acceptance thing is the hardest part, and you seem to have that pretty down.

Me

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You haven't had sex in 8 years??

 

No wonder you feel good- you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and probably thinking "I bet it won't be 8 years before I get laid again!"

 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

 

 

You're not right!

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