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Is there any chance to get back together after a divorce


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

 
 
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Old 28th January 2006, 12:57 AM   #1
lost in colorado
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Is there any chance to get back together after a divorce

I posted a message earlier, im just so lost after my divorce i still love my ex wife but she states she dosent love me anymore is it really her feeling or is it just her needing her space. The reason is because i talk with her sister alot and she tells me to let her have her space and let her sort things in her mind about us. The divorce happen so quick one day were talking about getting back together and the next day shes talking about a divorce.(we have a babby together) Does giving space help to sort out feeling, because i really didn't give her, her space when she asked months ago. need advice, does NC work in the situtation.(i begged, promised, told her i would change anything about me that she needed, that didn't work)
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Old 28th January 2006, 8:00 PM   #2
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me too

My husband moved out for a trial separation three weeks ago but I know in my heart that it is not for a trial. He does not care about me one little bit and it is ripping me apart. How do you move on soooo hurt and with things left so unfinished.
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Old 28th January 2006, 9:22 PM   #3
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mee too

i think i know what you mean i have some of the same issues dont know went wrong its like you dont even know them at all. but i still have hope we will some day be back together i guess i just grew up thinking that if you marry somebody its for love and for life. Tell me what went wrong in your relationship. by
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Old 28th January 2006, 9:45 PM   #4
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Usually when your partner say they need space. It means that they are not sure about you anymore. They are in doubts as to why they have to be in this relationship anymore. This type of feeling is brought on by consistent negativity that is brought up on the relationship. I would suggest to just showing her your positives only from now on and giving her space. Believe me on this one, space helps people clear their mind a lot, i wouldn't be exaggerating if I say it's magical!!. I was in the same boat as you are, except I was the one being suffocated. As soon as I had my space, my head was cleared and had the time to think without my partner influencing the train of my thoughts and feelings. My feelings completely changed and I went running back to my baby because all my feelings came back. I had the time to clear my head of all the negativity and could only think about the positive things between us. Just give her space and things would be alright for the both of you. Good luck!!
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Old 29th January 2006, 5:59 AM   #5
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thanks for the insight is was nice to here from a women who has gone threw this, again thanks im going to just that.
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Old 29th January 2006, 2:52 PM   #6
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lord of love

Tell me more about your experience and why you needed space and what was going threw head it could help me figure out whats going threw her head.
any information well help,, and how long of time did you need.

thank
LIC
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Old 29th January 2006, 6:58 PM   #7
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Lord of Love how long were you gone for?
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Old 29th January 2006, 9:17 PM   #8
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How long were you gone for you brokenherz.
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Old 30th January 2006, 5:28 PM   #9
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My husband left me and I gave him space for 7 month. He has a girlfriend now and I'm filing for legal separation.
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Old 30th January 2006, 6:43 PM   #10
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Sorry to hear about that brokenherz, our situtation is almost alike, did you try to win him back at all during the 7 months, because i tried to win my ex wife back serveral times, it worked some times but it was only temporary i would go back home and would be like i was one of her kids, i was told win i could sh_t and for how long. so i would just leave hoping she would realize that she was a very controling women, but I still loved her thats why i kept trying to win her back every time , so this last time(1 month ago) when i tried, she said no because i wasn't the man she wanted(a slave) so i haven't talked or even email, text nothing, we don't even talk when i pick up my son. I cant believe a person could actually lose feeling in a matter of a week(first they love then the hate you and never want to talk to again) so thats why she going to have to make the next move even if its next year or whatever. But i can honestly say i never loved a women so muck in my life i some time wish i could turn off my feeling for this women and get on with my life.
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Old 1st February 2006, 9:41 AM   #11
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I know exactly what you’re talking about. That is why I talk to a social worker and a therapist about my feelings. It helps…
I also keep myself busy with work and art and reading…although it took me a while to be motivated again and I do have to push myself.
My husband moves out this weekend and I haven’t talk to him since a week. We only email each other from now on. He can’t manipulate me that way. Unfortunately we have to talk again at some point because in one month we are getting a baby girl. I wrote him that I only want to talk about my baby girl with him and nothing else.

If it were up to him, yes he would swing by and pick up a hug from me and let me tell him how much I still love him, but after 20 minutes he leaves and returns to his new girlfriend. Do I deserve that? No, I can do better than that.

Believe me I tried to get him back but if you the only one trying…I give up, maybe that will help. You never know, I can’t wait and sit and think about him all day long. I wasted my time for the last 8-month or so. I’m looking forward to see my little girl and eventually I will be healed. The no contact helps me so much.

I hope for you to feel better again. We have to give it some time and work on our inner happiness for now. At the end it is only you that can help yourself but you have to want it and work on it. As soon as I think about my husband I switch it off and think about something else. You think you can do that? Do you have friends that help you? My friends a wonderful without them it would be so much harder.

Good luck liC, you are not alone we will survive it. We will be happy again. : )
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Old 1st February 2006, 1:31 PM   #12
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I have been separated for 6 months - divorced for the last 2 of those. We have stayed in constant communication - and we have driven each other into the ground. Oddly enough - when we divorced - i kept his name because I knew we would be back together one day. You see, my ex filed for divorce - citing every reason except for the real reason - he ws cheating on me. After I found out - I did some pretty nasty things - demanded that he go through with the divorce - and he did.

We are at a point now to where I have no choice but to let go. I still want to marry my -ex again, and have a life with him - but I cannot do it right now, and he is in no position emotionally to make a committment. So, I hope that by letting go - giving him his space - he will realize all of the mistakes we have made and come running back to me. If not, then I know that letting go and moving on with my life is the right thing to do. Albeit hard as hell, it is the right thing to do.

Don't kid yourself tho - you will always love your -ex.
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Old 1st February 2006, 2:04 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tender
Don't kid yourself tho - you will always love your -ex.
Wrong. Just because you do, doesn't mean everyone does. I'm divorced and I certainly DO NOT still love my ex. I'm remarried to someone else.
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Sweetie, it's all true!
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Old 7th February 2006, 6:53 PM   #14
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Reconciling with an ex rarely works out. If problems were big enough to cause major splits in the first place - those same problems will resurface again and again.

I reconciled with my ex-husband after I divorced him. Things were good for about 4 months then it all imploded again and we went back to the same crap, same arguments, same problems...... It didn't work - just prolonged the agony and heartache that much longer!
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Old 9th February 2006, 12:47 PM   #15
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well heres, my deal if you havent read it yet.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t79380/

The worst is all this is happening with in a few months. It feels like theres no time to try and fix anything.
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