Contradictory Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I've gotten responses from another posting I did. I still don't know what I'm going to do yet. I feel a host of contradictory feelings right now. One thing seems unavoidable -- I have to tell my wife that we've been in a one sided relationship for the past 6 years, that I've considered cheating on her, and that I'm not sure if we/can or should sustain this. Thinking it through -- she probably is better off without me. I go back and forth from feeling; -A sense of loss, I feel mournful over the years wasted, and fearful of whether I'll find someone I can love again. -Feeling that I have to own up to her about flaws in the relationship -- even if she decides to boot me out the door. -Unwillingness to go on with the marriage - despite the pain this will all cause. I keep on feeling that I'd only be staying in because of fear & dependency and guilt, not because I love my wife in the complete & comprehensive way she wants to be loved, and can stay completely committed to her. I also felt this way before I got married -- fearful of breaking up with my then girlfriend, but also wary of being married to her and dealing with all the things that would go with it. Is this contradictory feeling normal? Shouldn't I be either glad to be getting out of my marriage? Or fearful & scared to the point of wanting to stay in? Link to post Share on other sites
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