Oops I did it again

[Zetter]

I'm basically an idiot and need to get some stuff out. I was doing almost fine re: my divorce to my wife until today.

 

I filed for divorce with my wife on Wednesday. I then left the country for a 2 month work trip. She sent me an email today asking if I had hidden money from her in our checking account, and she should be entitled to any windfall I had received from the sale of our condo. Long story short, the condo was was a huge bone of contention during our marriage (she wanted to sell, I didn't - we sold quickly to move out and buy a house together and incurred a huge loss, then she left). I was completely insulted and got fired up. I called her and unloaded. We fought, cried, and then I performed my stupid human trick. She mentioned that she had forgiven me for the things I had done to make her lose trust in me. So I went for blood and pryed as to whether or not that was what ruined our marriage. She told me that our marriage was over because she didn't feel she could trust me, and we couldn't talk about things.

 

This was all entirely true. I did tell my friends things about her that really worried me during the first couple of months of marriage. And I never felt the need to talk about our issues with her, and just hoped they would go away. Certainly two big issues and I see her points. But people change, and I did. We have talked recently about these issues in depth and really broke down our relationship and talked like two passionate adults, something we had never done before. So I began to tell her everything I wanted to, including that I wanted to try again after everything. she told me that it was the right thing in her mind to divorce. I told her she was wrong and gave her all of my reasons why (via email). I honestly see her side of everything for the first time, and my inability to do so in the past led to our demise, I believe. I told her for the first time I can see our relationship for what it is, and want a chance to consciously try to make it great. She wants time to think about it and respond. I'm sure she wants to come up with airtight reasons why we can't try again, but for whatever reason I needed to try one last time with the divorce papers filed. I just feel hollow now, but couldn't help myself. I'm glad I did it, but now I feel like s***. Great job me.

[Spurned]

Yeah, it's a rollercoaster, and only you can choose when you want to get off of it.

 

Nobody can fault you for the "stupid" things you do during something like this. God knows I've behaved immaturely and irrationally, but with such huge emotional issues at stake, I don't see how a person can act COMPLETELY indifferent. We're human, we make mistakes, hopefully you'll laugh about it in a few years with a better love in your arms. Maybe her, maybe not.

[Mistaken Identity]

Why not email her a copy of your post?