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On-Again Off-Again Husband


DesertDweller

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I'll try to be brief. My husband of five years left me after he found out I was having an EA with a MM. The EA happened because my husband was drinking all the time, was no longer interested in his personal hygiene, and didn't help me at all around the house. Anyway, the EA is over. I'm moving out of state. My H is going back to his hometown when I leave. He's helping me pack. So we've been getting along really well. He said he may even end up moving to my state; quit drinking, and romance me all over again. He promised weeks ago that he wouldn't drink again if he knew we had a chance at staying together. But then we had an argument and he started drinking again. He called me last night from his sister's house. His sister and her husband drink every night. So, of course, my H had been drinking. To sum up: he said he doesn't know whether or not he wants me back. He doesn't know if he can trust me again. Excluding my EA, I've been a good wife. I've put up with his disappearances, his job losses, his drunkeness... Everyone--even his mother--agrees that he is at fault. It seems like he would want to make the marriage work. If for no other reason than he has found a sucker for a wife! I guess he just loves alcohol more than me and his daughter. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks.

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DesertDweller:

 

It seems that your husband is using you as an excuse to drink, when in fact, he was drinking before the affair. He is not taking responsibility for his part of the relationship.

 

I am not experienced with alcohol issues. I can only suggest AA for your husband and AlAnon for you.

 

I think that your relationship is never going to be on track as long as he is drinking.

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