Getting Seperation Papers Signed

[change4better]

ok, heres my story, My wife of 15 years of marriage has filed for Seperation.

 

We have been seperated about 4 times already, but this one has papers to back it up.

 

most of our break ups was due to miss comunitication and one was of me cheating on her. that was the 3rd one.

 

this time around its the same thing, Miscommunication. We have 2 children together.

 

My question is there hope after a legal seperation. I do love her very much and want her back. but right now she is very angry of this situation. 2 months now seperated from eachother, soon to be legal seperation.

 

What can I do?

[Lil Honey]

I think that by the time a woman files for divorce, it's over in her heart. But that's generally speaking, IMHO.

 

She has given "empty threats" before. She may have done that to see if you would change. She sees that you didn't and now she's out of there "for real." Unfortunately, when someone says they will leave and doesn't really go through with it, the other person never really knows at which point the threat will become a reality and get carried out.

 

You cite "miscommunication" as the reason for most of the problems. That is a pretty relative term. That could mean that you didn't understand that it is important to her that you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the end rather than the middle . . . or it could mean that she thought you stopped talking to the OW and you haven't . . . or it could mean anything in between. (BTW, don't kid yourself into thinking that she's forgotten about the affair.)

 

Most states require a separation period just for the sole purpose of both people getting their feelings in order to be sure a divorce is really what they want. It is a time for both people to reflect and decide if they want to try again to make the marriage work.

 

IF she is willing to listen and if you love her and want her back, you will have to be honest, mean what you say, say what you mean, go to counseling (even individual counseling will show her that you are trying to make improvements), and tell her how you feel from your heart. You will have to talk about what you have done that she no longer live with, then decide if you want to change yourSELF/behaviors.