a blast from the past

[K Os]

Wow. Over 4 years since I last posted here. How is everyone?

 

Why am I here again? Well, because over the holiday break my son (now 19) told me my ex always says that I left her. When it was completely the other way around - (as anyone who remembers me here will know).

 

Go figure.

 

Result? Nightmare - literally, and a nasty one. I have to just set him straight and forget it. But boy am I steamed. Lies really burn...

[Just a Guy]

Hi K P's, I am sorry I am not familiar with your story. Could you please recap it in brief and bring up up to date? Why is it such a nightmare for you? After all you know( assuming your ex cheated on you) that cheaters lie and so you should have expected something like that from her. You son is now an adult and I am sure will be able to handle facts. Even if he is more inclined to believe his mother, that is his problem and I am sure in time he will be able to discern the truth for himself. My advice to you would be not to lose any sleep over this.

 

Have a Happy New Year in 2018. Warm wishes.

[K Os]

Thanks for your message. It's a long, grim story and you can find my threads from way back if you want to dig up all that crappy stuff

In brief, after 15 years she gave me 'the speech' and eventually left the family home, after a long and nasty wrangle about who should be the one to go. I didn't want any of it to happen and I stayed put.

This latest report from my son has rocked me because as far as I can recall she's never lied about it outright in these terms before. I guess that's just naive of me. I was always sure she'd badmouth me to her girlfriends and surround herself with other bitter types, but I never expected her to lie directly to our son. My opinion of her, though not exactly stellar before, has simply fallen through the floor. And generated some righteous anger which I haven't felt for a while. Hence the bad dream, too, I suppose. I shouldn't let it affect me after all this time, but it has put me on a bit of a downer. I've always been careful never to say anything negative about her to my son. In fact we never normally discuss it at all. Her choice was her choice, and she left. I just imagined she was repaying this respect and behaving in the same way towards me. Wrong yet again .

Ah well.

[Marc878]

Cheaters always lie a lot.

 

You really think she had any integrity?

 

Many keep wanting thinking they’ll be something they never were or will be.

 

Your mindset will get you nothing but disappointment

[road]

Wow. Over 4 years since I last posted here. How is everyone?

 

Why am I here again? Well, because over the holiday break my son (now 19) told me my ex always says that I left her. When it was completely the other way around - (as anyone who remembers me here will know).

 

Go figure.

 

Result? Nightmare - literally, and a nasty one. I have to just set him straight and forget it. But boy am I steamed. Lies really burn...

 

Did WW have an affair?

 

Did WW leave you for the OM?

 

If yes and yes then why have you not told your son the truth?

[Just a Guy]

Hi KO, I went back and read some of the relevant threads that you had posted way back in 2012. From what I gather, your wife or ex wife dropped this bombshell on you in June 2011. She finally moved out herself but to an apartment close to your place so that your son did not face any difficulty moving between the two homes. One of the folks who offered you advice which you valued was a lady going by the moniker of 'Onthefence210. She drew parallels between her own situation and that of your wife. Because her case interested me I went back to her threads to get a backgrounder of her situation vis a vis your wife's. I guess the two ladies couldn't be more different. While your wife ostensibly was not unfaithful, she seems to not be very honest with herself or with you. On the other hand Onthefence210 although unfaithful, went through an emotional and mental wrangle to untangle all the loose ends in her mental and emotional make up to find out why she did what she did and what lead her to it. In fact it is the first time that I have seen someone be so honest with oneself and with her BS. Affairs are never good but as the saying goes 'It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good'! That affair forced her to focus on what was wrong with her and her home situation and convinced her to work to change herself and her circumstances. Sadly, your wife has not learned any lessons.

 

I have to ask you if your long separation has finally had the same effect as a divorce? Ate both of you now free and unencumbered to pursue a relationship 2ith someone else or are you still connected with the umbilical cord of a decaying marriage? It seemed at one point that your wife seemed open to getting back with you. What happened to that possibility? In any case I wish you the very best going forward. Have a Good Day!