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Separated, Forgot birthday


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 29th December 2017, 9:36 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by Cullenbohannon View Post
Silly question, but did you send her a Christmas Card/text/email?
I sent her a Merry Christmas text and she replied with the same. Until the divorce is final, it's in my best interest not pissing her off.

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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
Well seeing as she was the one who left you, cheated on you, you don't owe her a happy birthday message. The marriage is over.
While it's true she cheated on me and left the first time, I left the second time. She would have liked to continue the marriage, after all she deserves to enjoy travel and enjoy life at this point in her life. This was a pretty common theme in our marriage, I worked hard all my life, I deserve a big beautiful house (that we could barely afford, also she brought nothing but debt into the marriage, all the savings we had was from me ), This is our first New Years together, I deserve a expensive celebration, I deserve this, I deserve that. The self entitlement really got old after while. While she did earn a good living, she even made more than me at one point, she spend it quicker than she earned it. Life before marriage, I saved over 150k in my 401k, had a house, 25k in the bank, paid off car and zero debt. Life after Marriage, no saving, two car loans, a $2,800 a month mortgage payment, 20k in Credit Card debt at one point.

Last edited by AngryGromit; 29th December 2017 at 9:54 AM..
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Old 29th December 2017, 10:56 AM   #17
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AngryGrommet many of us that have gone thru the experience of divorce and we can identify with you. I to was married narcissistic me me me self entitled princess. My divorce was very expensive.

The old question and answer stands true in my opinion. Do you know why divorces cost so much? Because they are worth it.

If the aftermath after the bad marriage and the final divorce is anything like mine, your life will sky rocket straight up with a high level of happiness and peace.
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Old 29th December 2017, 2:53 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by AngryGromit View Post
My wife and I have been married for 11 years and been separated for 10 months now, living in separate places for 8 months. We have a signed legal separation agreement for the division of assets, divorce paperwork filed and we don't talk / communicate very often. I think the last time we spoke was a month ago and I sent her a text a week ago thanking for sending me some paperwork. We are on civil terms, I can say it hasn't been a nightmare divorce yet. Anyway I got a text from her calling me an inconsiderate ******* I forgot her birthday, after all she's still my Wife. While it's true I did forget her birthday, I try to avoid thinking about her most of the time anyway, I wasn't even planning on sending her a Christmas card or texting her either.

This is new territory to me, do you send you ex or soon to be ex Birthday and Christmas cards? Am I a jerk for not remembering her Birthday, or is it unreasonable to expect someone your divorcing to send you greeting cards? Call or Text them? I could understand if we had Children together, but we don't. Is it selfish to just want to the divorce over with and move on with my life. I don't want to have to remember exwife's birthdays, and don't think I should be expected to.
Its not about you forgetting her birthday, she still has feelings for you, and she is using the birthday as a justification for the separation. She is obviously thinking she made a mistake, and the birthday gave her the justification she needed to convince herself that she didn't make a mistake. Try being in my shoes, separated, but having nightly sex, and still living in the same house, it sucks!
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Old 29th December 2017, 3:47 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Rockdad View Post
My divorce was very expensive.
She has a vested interest in keeping divorce expenses low, she's self employed with a business, an expensive divorce would cause her a serious financial hardship, and it's not like I'm a millionaire she can suck dry.

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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
Its not about you forgetting her birthday, she still has feelings for you ....
And I still have feeling for her, just not enough to get overlook her lack of interest in my sexual needs and desires.

Last edited by AngryGromit; 29th December 2017 at 3:51 PM..
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