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Any positive results of separations, reconciling?


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No, and I never would.

 

Relationships are not fixed by separation, time apart or one party going off to "find themselves". If she says that to you, show her a mirror.

 

When one party chooses separation over staying to work on the marriage, it almost always means the marriage is dead.

 

There are a few exceptions of course, and everyone thinks they are the exception. Most people are wrong.

 

If you want to save your marriage then agreeing to a separation is one of the least effective ways to do it.

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First off, you need to ask...

 

Why does she want to separate? And PNP is totally correct separation almost never fixes the marriage.

 

More info about the whole situation would be helpful.

 

What PNP did not say is that if she asked for the separation, then more than likely, she is having an affair and she wants more freedom to spend time with her other man (OM) with out your interference...

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Any positive results of separation

The only separation I had ended in a divorce so yeah, that was positive for sure.. without divorcing her I would never had met my current wife and had a child...

 

It's all in how you look at it...

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Do not separate. Separation does not repair anything.

 

Dollars to doughnuts, when a wife wants a separation

it is because she wants her BH out of the way so she can

cheat full time to test out your replacement.

 

Instead learn how to fix what you have and go detective

mode cause she is having an affair.

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somanymistakes

You might as well just say "don't separate, divorce" because if your reaction to the request is to assume that she's a liar and a cheat and start stalking her, your relationship is definitely over whether she is or isn't (And she might be).

 

Most of the time a separation request means one of these things:

1. I want to try out dating this new person and see if they're better than you before pulling the plug entirely

2. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure I can manage on my own, I want to ease my way into being independent

3. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure YOU can manage on your own, I want to slowly ease us apart and hope you don't have a huge breakdown

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You might as well just say "don't separate, divorce" because if your reaction to the request is to assume that she's a liar and a cheat and start stalking her, your relationship is definitely over whether she is or isn't (And she might be).

 

Most of the time a separation request means one of these things:

1. I want to try out dating this new person and see if they're better than you before pulling the plug entirely

2. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure I can manage on my own, I want to ease my way into being independent

3. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure YOU can manage on your own, I want to slowly ease us apart and hope you don't have a huge breakdown

My scanerio is more in line with 2. Our relationship is very good, believe it or not. We are not acting like a sterotypical separation. Not thinking we will get back together. Actually accepting whats happening.

I am focusing my relationship with daughter n grandbaby..

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I know a lot of people who separated, reconciled, and then split for good. I know two couples who divorced and reconciled until death did them part.

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Our relationship is very good, believe it or not.

No, I don't believe it. If it was good then you wouldn't be separated.

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No, I don't believe it. If it was good then you wouldn't be separated.

I meant we get along. We dont fight, argue etc. We are pretty mature about the whole dang thing.

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I know a lot of people who separated, reconciled, and then split for good. I know two couples who divorced and reconciled until death did them part.

2 couples done that? Really?

That you know?

What are the chances of that?

And they all died?

Even bigger odds going on now;)

OP....Pegnose is right. I've got a chicken that's gone off in my fridge

Wanna buy it? No? Why not?

Shall i ask you in 2 weeks time? Would you buy it then?

Course not. Same with separating with someone.

They are off the menu. Why go and eat something that was rancid before..it won't get better with time...

aM

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2 couples done that? Really?

That you know?

What are the chances of that?

And they all died?

Even bigger odds going on now;)

OP....Pegnose is right. I've got a chicken that's gone off in my fridge

Wanna buy it? No? Why not?

Shall i ask you in 2 weeks time? Would you buy it then?

Course not. Same with separating with someone.

They are off the menu. Why go and eat something that was rancid before..it won't get better with time...

aM

I know this is digressing a little, but many couples stayed together due to society, vows etc back in the day. Now society embraces divorces, separations as not such a bad thing.

Regardless, I will always love my wife..

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There is one here on LoveShack (DKT ?) that divorced and later remarried again (1-3 years?) on this board.

 

I dont know any others personally.

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Now society embraces divorces, separations as not such a bad thing.

Yes. Your marriage is over. You might as well embrace it. It's not as socially unacceptable as it once was.

 

Regardless, I will always love my wife..

No, you won't.

Edited by PegNosePete
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  • 3 weeks later...

My Wife wanted a Separation about two years ago, she packed up, moved out and stayed with her female "friend" for two months. After two months she begged me to take her back. I think one of the motivators was her friend's house isn't that nice, where our house very nice. It was like moving from luxury to the ghetto. Anyway I took her back, we were together for another year before I ended up leaving her. I found out later her and her "friend" were having sex, not to mention she exposed us to some legal issues I will not post again here.

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