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Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 2nd February 2018, 4:02 PM   #151
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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
I feel soooo lonely without her, even with my kids in the room. I also start feeling doomed and lonely when I think about the future. After the bills are paid Ill be lucky to have $200 a week for 2 kids lol, I'm scared to death.
Youíve been extremely emotionally dependent on your girlfriend, and youíre now experiencing separation anxiety. Your fear and dependency on her are what have been causing you to continually take her back no matter what she does because you are scared to death of living without her.

As far as the money is concerned, thatís a self-created problem. Unlike most of the guys commenting here, you are extremely lucky to not be married. You owe your girlfriend absolutely nothing. If youíre stupid enough to pay for an apartment for her, donít whine about not having any money.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 5:38 PM   #152
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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
I feel soooo lonely without her, even with my kids in the room. I also start feeling doomed and lonely when I think about the future. After the bills are paid Ill be lucky to have $200 a week for 2 kids lol, I'm scared to death.
Have you never heard of Walmart, Craigslist, and resale shops? Stop paying for your ex's anything. Tighten your belt and learn to make everything at home...coffee, lunch, etc. If you're careful with the money, $200 per week after the bills are paid is plenty.

Also, get thee to court and file for custody. I don't know about your state, but in mine unmarried fathers literally have zero parental rights until a judge says they do. In other words, if I were unmarried with minor children, I could drop my kids with their father until I decided I wanted them back, tell the police he is keeping them against my will, get a police escort, physically take them from him, and there isn't a damn thing he could do because there isn't a court order granting him parenting time.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 6:44 PM   #153
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Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
Have you never heard of Walmart, Craigslist, and resale shops? Stop paying for your ex's anything. Tighten your belt and learn to make everything at home...coffee, lunch, etc. If you're careful with the money, $200 per week after the bills are paid is plenty.

Also, get thee to court and file for custody. I don't know about your state, but in mine unmarried fathers literally have zero parental rights until a judge says they do. In other words, if I were unmarried with minor children, I could drop my kids with their father until I decided I wanted them back, tell the police he is keeping them against my will, get a police escort, physically take them from him, and there isn't a damn thing he could do because there isn't a court order granting him parenting time.
Belt tightening isnít even required. He should now have more money, not less, because has doesnít have to spend a cent on his girlfriend any longer. Plus, since the girlfriend doesnít want custody, he can take her to court and get a child support order against her. Honestly, he should come out a lot stronger financially than he was while in a relationship with her.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 3:46 PM   #154
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Originally Posted by Be_Strong View Post
Belt tightening isnít even required. He should now have more money, not less, because has doesnít have to spend a cent on his girlfriend any longer. Plus, since the girlfriend doesnít want custody, he can take her to court and get a child support order against her. Honestly, he should come out a lot stronger financially than he was while in a relationship with her.
You'd be surprised how many will show up and demand their kids back when A) they get dumped by their latest romantic partner, B) they get social censure for "abandoning their kids" and/or C) they realize they'll have to pay child support. OP needs to file for official custody NOW before she changes her mind, he ends up having to pay her child support plus daycare, etc., and he does come out worse.
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Old 4th February 2018, 5:51 PM   #155
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You will stay in the delimma you're end until you go your own way.
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Old 7th February 2018, 5:35 AM   #156
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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
You guys were right about everything. She is still seeing the other man. I left the house last night to get my own apartment and she said she couldn't take care of the kids, so they left with me. We are currently sleeping on my sisters floor, but I'm supposed to get an apartment tomorrow. She wants me to stay at the house, but live in the basement while we live separate lives, for the kids to finish out the school year. I'm not sure what to do, this is all too much, do I go back home for the kids?
Hey danny, i'm very sad it did not turn well, but you have to convince yourself this is a good thing for you.

You saw her true color many times and it's not easy what she's done to you. The emotionnal damage is here and devastating and you are surely in the deep stage of sadness.

But again, you will do it. Many of us were here, and today, we are still here to talk.

I was in your place few month ago and i can assure you, i'm OK today. It's not easy but it's ok. Depression is gone, anxiety is gone , sleeping is back and priority is settled.

Those event have a meaning : you and only you are the most important person on your life. This is a very good lesson for guys like us who will do anything for the loved one. We should do everything for us and not for another person.

I did have some time to think about that and i was a big fool to accept the cheating part.

Marriage does not mean anything today and those broken things, nobody has the strenght to go deep and try to fix it.

You are a good guy, i did follow your story. I hope you will be ok, see you soon here.
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Old 7th February 2018, 2:13 PM   #157
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I absolutely feel for you. I wanted to point out that I went through a very similar experience about 3 years ago. It was mind blowing, devastating, I contemplated suicide for the first time in my life.

Here we are three years later and I am more happy now than Iíve ever been. My son is happpy, I have a great woman in my life. I never knew things could be this good. You will get there too, I promise.

1 day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary. Hang in there. There is a light. I promise.
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