LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Separation and Divorce

fresh and painful


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Like Tree8Likes
  • 2 Post By BaileyB
  • 1 Post By d0nnivain
  • 3 Post By MJJean
  • 1 Post By PieceByPeace
  • 1 Post By JimmyNYC
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 7th November 2017, 6:30 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 3
Red face fresh and painful

Hello all, new here and new to bieng on my own. Let me explain.
Four months ago, I found out my husband was sleeping with his childhoods best friends wife, for possibly a year. The husband called me a work mid day to tell me he read all her texts,and relayed confirmation of a loving affair. I felt something was off with my husband, but wasn't certain. I didn't think it was with his best buds wife,ever. So I put up a hell of a reaction of anger, fueled completely by hurt. I kicked him out, let him come back 3. Till finally he decided not to come back.
we talked, he said he wasn't seeing her anymore, so we thought to try and take things slow...keep in mind, I deeply loved this man, new I could forgive, the infidelity with time.
weeks went on, we lived apart. Till she called me to ask if we where still seeing each other. Crap again hit the fan. I changed my phone number, but he called my work constantly, so I had to call him, to hear he wasn't seeing her anymore. I fell for it over and over, for months.
Then in October, he planned a trip for our wedding anniversary in Cuba. I went, but at the airport she, sent me a text, how she got my number? I don't know. Anyway her text says, did he tell you the news???? We are boarding the plane, I sent a reply back, what news, she says ask him. So, on a guess I ask if she is pregnant, again sh says ask him, so I did, he says no, she is saying that to ruin our trip, he says why would I be going to cuba with you, if I didn't want to work us out. Needless to say the trip was a total bust!!! I could not get past what she said. So the day we came back, I packed just my clothes and moved into my girlfriends home. He has not be living with me for months, but I hated bieng at the house where the memories where to consuming. He went and took everything! We fought long and hard, mean words kept coming. Then we cooled off, talked 10 times a day met up kissed.... then 1 day after we slept together, he tells me,we can't talk for a while he needs to sort the demons in his head. Blocks me completely. Has not called me,emailed nothing. But I'm in limbo, hurt like nothing before, trying to figure out the next steps....its really hard when you love someone even though he betrayed the trust. We are married, no kids. Advise please.
niki99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 8:57 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 3,750
I'm sorry, I'm sure this has been really difficult for you...

But, when I read your story, I feel like I want to say why would you ever consider staying with this man? Your husband sounds like a Prince - he takes "cheating" to a whole new level... he has a mean streak. What he has done is callous and he seems to show no remorse. I would be out of there so fast, he wouldn't even see me go...

Last edited by BaileyB; 7th November 2017 at 9:01 AM..
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 9:22 AM   #3
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,243
How awful for you.

If you really want this to work I think you need to do 2 things: get marriage counseling & talk to a lawyer about getting a cease & desist order against the OW

If your STBXH won't go to counseling, then you need to start taking steps to protect yourself as best as possible.
niki99 likes this.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 9:55 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 1,585
So, he was cheating on her with you, cheating on you with her, and she may be pregnant. Hon, get a lawyer and file for the divorce. Let his mistress have him with your compliments. They deserve each other.
__________________
I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me. Where the fear has gone, there shall be nothing. Only I will remain." - Litany Against Fear
MJJean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2017, 8:02 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 2
This is all too familiar, except I stayed, he continued to cheat, we had two sons together and eventually divorced...after 15 years. The cheating lasted the entire marriage. I know what you're going through and the hurt and betrayal run deep. If you haven't been to marriage counseling please go. Invite him along, after all, he did say he needs to sort out the demons in his head...he can't do that on his own. If he refuses to go then still go on your own...you can't sort this out on your own, either. In time you will know what direction your marriage is going. I am so sorry you are going through this...but I know with help you can experience healing, whether your marriage survives or not.
niki99 likes this.
PieceByPeace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2017, 9:54 AM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: NYC
Posts: 35
Hi I read your story. Unfortunately you only have one option. Leave him and never get back together. Ever. I know it will be hard for you since you love him. But he will continue this pattern. You deserve better. Do you really want to be married to someone that cheats on you?
niki99 likes this.
JimmyNYC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2017, 7:57 PM   #7
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by PieceByPeace View Post
This is all too familiar, except I stayed, he continued to cheat, we had two sons together and eventually divorced...after 15 years. The cheating lasted the entire marriage. I know what you're going through and the hurt and betrayal run deep. If you haven't been to marriage counseling please go. Invite him along, after all, he did say he needs to sort out the demons in his head...he can't do that on his own. If he refuses to go then still go on your own...you can't sort this out on your own, either. In time you will know what direction your marriage is going. I am so sorry you are going through this...but I know with help you can experience healing, whether your marriage survives or not.
Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind , chatting more?
niki99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2017, 8:05 PM   #8
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
So, he was cheating on her with you, cheating on you with her, and she may be pregnant. Hon, get a lawyer and file for the divorce. Let his mistress have him with your compliments. They deserve each other.
Yes , they do deserve each other, two cheaters.
niki99 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:16 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.