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Despair..


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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  • 2 Post By mard40
  • 2 Post By d0nnivain
  • 3 Post By BluesPower
  • 1 Post By coolheadal
 
 
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:21 PM   #1
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Question Despair..

Hi all,
My divorce date is next Tuesday 10th October.
We've been separated 2years this October too.

Today... just complete despair.. terrified of being alone. Knowing I've spent 10years with this man and majority of my 20s. I'm turning 28.. I feel like my life projectory is starting all over again. I don't know how to deal. I know everyone says it will get better etc.. it really doesn't help right now. When I think about all the effort I will need to put into a new relationship if become daunting!! I feel like none of my friends truly understand what it's like to be alone at home day in and day out. I feel abandoned and misunderstood. Frustrated that people are always busy too.. I'm tough daily but when alone just .. alone!! I hate telling people I'm struggling because I hate people that winge without making steps forward. I feel like I'm whinging and don't know what to do to combat how I'm feeling and the road ahead.

Last edited by Jerries; 6th October 2017 at 8:22 PM.. Reason: Spelling mistake
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:45 PM   #2
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At 28 you are still so young! Your best days are ahead for you! You are feeling low right now but soon you will be so happy! Hang in there! Get some hobbies. Take a fun class. Meet some new people. Soon you will be fine... better than fine!
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Old 7th October 2017, 7:19 AM   #3
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This is a HUGE change. You haven't been single as an adult. Of course you are scared.

Intellectually you know things will get better. That knowledge will help you get through some of the emotional stuff.

Consider joining a divorce support group. You will be surrounded by others who are experiencing the same fears & doubts you have. It may help you feel less alone.

Hang in there.
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Old 7th October 2017, 8:39 AM   #4
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Yes, you have to go through your lonesome thoughts. But if you have other interests, try to focus on them, to entertain yourself. You survived 2 years separated, so, I believe you can. Your friends are right.

hey, a study that's been circulating at fb says your nasty friends care for you!
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Old 7th October 2017, 8:48 AM   #5
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D is right...

Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
This is a HUGE change. You haven't been single as an adult. Of course you are scared.

Intellectually you know things will get better. That knowledge will help you get through some of the emotional stuff.

Consider joining a divorce support group. You will be surrounded by others who are experiencing the same fears & doubts you have. It may help you feel less alone.

Hang in there.
D is right...

Sweetie, you are so young. Right now you are scared and all of that is understandable.

At your age it is hard to look at things with the "Long Term" view. But that is what you have to learn to do.

It might help if you wrote a few words about what went wrong in your marriage. But even if you don't, I can say this... Wasting your life in a bad marriage is not the way to go. I stayed for the kids, honor, duty and I was a complete fool for doing this.

You really have your whole life ahead of you, so take advantage of this situation and learn from mistakes and make your life better.

Now the other side. You have not been dating for 10 years, you really need to take it slow for a while. Don't be too trusting of the men out there because there are some real creeps. Take your time...

I for one am so happy at this late stage of my life it is euphoric. It can be that way for you as well...
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Old 8th October 2017, 9:53 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerries View Post
Hi all,
My divorce date is next Tuesday 10th October.
We've been separated 2years this October too.

Today... just complete despair.. terrified of being alone. Knowing I've spent 10years with this man and majority of my 20s. I'm turning 28.. I feel like my life projectory is starting all over again. I don't know how to deal. I know everyone says it will get better etc.. it really doesn't help right now. When I think about all the effort I will need to put into a new relationship if become daunting!! I feel like none of my friends truly understand what it's like to be alone at home day in and day out. I feel abandoned and misunderstood. Frustrated that people are always busy too.. I'm tough daily but when alone just .. alone!! I hate telling people I'm struggling because I hate people that winge without making steps forward. I feel like I'm whinging and don't know what to do to combat how I'm feeling and the road ahead.
My dear it takes time for the change. I live through my as well. Not easy but I am living proof today I am excellent. Sure I am still on my own, but it's hard to find that right woman to be with. I've tried a lot of things. Lost over 200 lbs cleaned up my life and started off fresh. Dated few off OLD and 1 from work. That's still a work-in-progress. I've travel so far and see this wonderful world. You need 3 years break from men. Get your life back together and forget friends who just don't understand you. They have their own hang-up as well. You are not your friends hang-out buddy you are living for yourself and learning how it is to be a single woman again. Once the divorce goes through and is approved you life as you know will change, you'll be free once again! Trust me the feeling is wonderful.. After 3 years you can start dating again. You need that time first though. Don't rush in like I did, never works out in the end. Good luck!
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